War on Trash: Day 16 (forsaken)
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July 7th, 2009by Patrick – 4 great comments. Room for one more!
Those among us who were hoping for a swift end to the War had our spirits crushed today as Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty announced that he would not be getting his hands dirty.
During the 2002 conflict, the provincial government legislated and end to the assault and brought in an arbitrator to lay down the conditions of the peace pact. This time around, with cooler temperatures making the trash less goopy, there is no call for immediate action.
Our provincial government has forsaken us.
Chritie Pits is already at the breaking point. Residents are fending off mutant rats (those that survive the poison are necessarily mutants), and hell-spawn mosquitoes (ditto re: the poison, but much more satanic). With an area the size of two football fields and about 3 meters (10 feet) deep, government forces evacuating, and hot weather moving in, that’s sad news for the folks of the Pits (apropos, no?). Like your kitten getting hit by a car during your birthday party kind of sad. A birthday party no one came to kind of sad.
Even though I’m convinced that trash is no longer the evil force driving this conflict, I don’t think anyone would want this near their home:
The Toronto Star’s baffling story on a San Fransisco travel advisory was another shot to Toronto’s groin. And the city itself is making matters worse by preventing citizens from proactively trying to defend against the onslaught. Permits for these actions are nice but wouldn’t it be tough to get them when the permit office is on strike?
Guerrilla vigilantism is clearly the only answer. I’m ready to do my part.
Respect mah authoritae!
As the sun sets on another miserable day in our blighted metropolis, and I struggle to fit just one more bag into my building’s garbage shed, I see one faint sign that pierces the bleakness. A yellow sign.
Somehow, despite the trash and slowly blooming odour traipsing in from just down the street, the brave men and women of the entertainment industry march on resolutely, producing questionable (but improving!) content. God bless ’em; they’re tryin’
Hope they clean up after themselves when they leave.
... with pictures
... with sounds
... with videos
... with opinions
... that's shorter
... that's longer
July 8th, 2009 11:41 am
The star attraction of Where the Walls are Soft, my Little Old Landlady, Ruby, would like to send her good thoughts to you – surrounded by trash and rats as you are…
She is vehemently and loudly vocal about her pissed-offedness with the Government for not taking the matter in hand and forcing the end of the strike (not that she's not vehemently and loudly vocal about her pissed-offedness with the Government for just about everything else gone wrong, but the garbage strike "way down there" is currently at the top of her list of rants), and I'm certain that if Ruby could get herself there, she would take it upon herself to hunt down every mutant rat and single-handedly stab them all to death with a fork.
From Ruby's mouth to your blog comments…
July 8th, 2009 3:14 pm
Les, you be sure to give Ruby a big old pinch on the cheek for me. What the heck, a pinch for you too. It's nice to know there are still some old-school fork-wielding vigilantes on our side. Rant on, sister!
July 8th, 2009 5:25 pm
Wowww… it's sad to see Toronto under that trash.
I love Toronto so much, and to see this, makes me wonder why do the folks who claim to love toronto, not do something to settle this damn strike.
Toronto needs a break – and Yes they need to Raspect Ya Authoriton, Damnit. ;)
July 9th, 2009 11:00 am
:D My authoritae is not as respectable as it may seem. Neither is the trash situation. Despite the incessant focus I've put on garbage, the city's actually pretty clean. Most public garbage bins still have room and sidewalk trash is tame. The only bad thing about this is that it might allow the strike to go on for much longer.