What kind of filthy surprise did the War hold today?
Okay, so you’ve seen plenty of trash heaps on TCL, so what? Well, this particular detention centre has been of special interest to me because it’s in my neighbourhood. Also, it doesn’t really seem to be growing. That’s very unusual considering the closing of other centres that have already reached capacity.
Even though I’m happy that my street seems to be so thrifty with refuse, I’m genuinely perturbed as to how this pile has managed to stay pretty much unchanged while others have grown beyond their limit.
And what about this dangerous pesticide that is so harmful to our nearby fauna?
So lifelike! These herds of grazing bunny things at Metro Hall are proof positive that everything’s a-ok. And it turns out that concerns over the chemicals’ effects on local flora were also greatly exaggerated:
The 416/79 brigade and our troops are still at it, tossing peace treaties back and forth like a live grenade. Neither side seems to like what the other is offering and there is no indication that an end is in sight. But on the streets where the battle is fiercest, I see things steadily improving; much, I’m sure, to the dismay of the enemy. The front-line troops that, not so long ago, had taken so much abuse now seem to be coping with ease:
If anything, the War has simply become tedious. The province hasn’t seen the need to send in the arbitration commandos and I’ve even managed to find a reliable fly paper supplier. At this point, the fruit flies’ best bet is to grab only essentials, pack up the old station wagon, and drive straight out of my kitchen for that open window as fast as they can. Picketers, take note.
One day, long after this is all over, I wonder what the 416/79 garrison will tell their kids when they ask why Canada Day was canceled in 2009. Old uncle Jim will sit there, tears welling up in his eyes, replying only with a frail, choking apology.