INVESTMENT TIP: Toronto parking lots — BUY BUY BUY!

Posted on July 30th, 2009 8 great comments. Room for one more!

Do you remember yesterday with those street-borne communiqués around the city?

Mama meme-a!

This time we have a website and a comfortable patch of grass. I would applaud this effort, I really would. But I actually started to read the web page:

“We want to re-examine public space and to create work which explores our relationship with the space we inhabit. We wish to de-center and disrupt the accepted n…”




*wipe drool*

I don’t know what that site meant but I’ve reprimanded my netbook for showing it to me. I’m sorely tempted to put my programming skills to use in creating a tedious content filter of some sort. When it would detect a web page that fell below the customizable tedium level, the browser would warn you with a gentle weeping sound lest you waste a moment of your valuable life. Also, a shudder if your hardware is equipped for it.

Meh. I’d rather be outside anyway. It’s hard to be bored, especially with Caribana just around the corner. And the rampant crime that goes with it:

Why bother with a dollar sign? It's already an outrageous number!

That’ll go up to twenty bucks on the weekend. Bumbaclot!

Lamport Stadium is where the Caribana judging takes place, and if memory serves, they have about one-hundred million-billion floats and get-ups to evaluate. It’s a lot, whatever the precise number is.

When it comes to parade costumes, people go certifiably insane. They seal themselves up in darkened workshops for months on end, devoid of any human contact. There, they toil away, metamorphosing wire, fabric, and sequins into wings, antennae, and gaudy headdresses.

Finally, after many months and a third refinancing of the house, they emerge.

As a beautiful, gargantuan butterfly!

gimpy leg or awkward erection?

I’m sure it’s much more impressive than it looks. From what I remember of past parades, the costumes are enormous. That thing he’s pulling out of the truck is probably meant to be worn on the eyebrow. The rest of the costume usually arrives by helicopter.

I suppose I can understand why they’d want these creations protected behind fences this weekend, but I’m not sure if they’re legally allowed to call it Caribana unless everyone, including spectators, are jumping around. Seems like a fence would dampen that enthusiasm.

When I walked along Lakeshore Boulevard (the parade route) today, it felt a bit like I was in a penitentiary exercise yard. With the natural barrier of Lake Ontario on one side, and the gun-turret-like projections of the Direct Energy Centre on the other, winin’ and/or grinin’ just seems out of place.

Guess we’ll just have to see.

8 Comments on “ INVESTMENT TIP: Toronto parking lots — BUY BUY BUY! ”

  • Sandy
    July 31st, 2009 2:47 am

    Stopping in to say thanks for placing the ad, it's appreciated. Hope you have a great day, it's TGIF!


    Please swing by for a visit

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  • Patrick
    July 31st, 2009 2:29 pm

    Okay, Sandy, now I'm getting a little embarrassed.

  • BadGalSays
    July 31st, 2009 7:18 am

    Hey Stop Cuss pon unnu blog

    mi seh it nah nice fi unnu use dem badwurd.

    but seriously tho – you are right, the prices

    should be investigated. I've seen 25.00 on carnival


    most folks recycle costumes – and remake them.

    the larger costumes are passed around and modified

    each year to get the most use out of them.

    the biggest headdresses are usually made of feathers and netting so they are minimally heavy (15 or so lbs).

    now the trucks, oh yes the soundsystem trucks.

    I like to watch the trucks and see who they have onboard.

    usually a good truck and some pretty girls, plus a drum section makes a winning crew. add a top ranjin dj or singjay like Sean Paul and you got magic.

    nobody plays Mas like those Trinis'. we yardies are into it but we still are restrained compared to those folks from Laventille. they move the earth when they roll through.

    make sure to cover carnival this year please, as I am not coming up. dr appt today, work tomorrow. yeah..

    life goes on.

    thanks for the comment yesterday.

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  • Patrick
    July 31st, 2009 2:06 pm

    Gal, I'm planning to hit the sack early tonight. Like you said, those Trinis are hardcore and the Soca will be blarring by ten. In the morning. On a typical weekend, that hour simply doesn't exist for me.

    In regards to my expression of disbelief regarding parking prices, well, it just seemed appropriate. I was also kissing my teeth while saying it. I believe escalated language should be used if the situation warrants it.

    I don't know about you, but curse words are the first ones I learn when I discover someone I know speaks another language. And when you discover words like this that are both so lyrical and so profoundly bad, it's just impossible not to pull them out and use them once in a while.

    On the same token, I encourage everyone to do the same. And I'm always looking to expand my repertoire. Yuh gwan, selecta gal, fi yuh wan cuss ere. On a classier blog, probably not. But here …

  • Laura
    July 31st, 2009 9:53 am

    Not relevant to this post but did you know that your RSS link at the top right cuts off access to your Twitter link? I tried to click the Twitter graphic and was taken to the RSS instead.

    I hope the garbage is soon cleared up for Toronto. My sister lives in the Beaches area and has had sewage coming into her house somehow due to the striking workers not being on the job. I didn't hear the full story from her. Sounds gross. We offered for her to come and stay out here awhile but not very practical to be in Barrie when her job is downtown there.

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  • Patrick
    July 31st, 2009 2:28 pm

    Thanks for the heads-up, Laura. In all honesty, I knew about it and was hoping no one would try to click on those buttons until I finished the little Twitter plugin I'm working on. In the meantime:

    About your sister … WHAT?! Holy cow! I would *really* like to know what happened there. That neighbourhood's not too far from the poo refinery, I wonder if that was the source. I'm pretty sure I get my water from the same place; I do not want chunks in my glass!

  • Banner Stands
    September 6th, 2009 4:17 am

    Interesting investment tip – maybe we should do the same in the UK!

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  • Patrick
    September 9th, 2009 8:19 am

    I suppose parking is a terribly crime in every urban center these days, Banner. Where are the police, is what I wanna know.

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