In real life

Posted on February 4th, 2010 20 great comments. Room for one more!

Allow me to take you on a linguistic journey unlike any other you’ve ever experienced, dear reader. This one is broad-spectrum dazzle machine, from the choice to capitalize final letterS on arbitrary words, to the repeated insistence that this all happened in real life. You know what? Before I prejudice you too much, have a gander for yourself:

ron douglas loman, poster, placard, hamilton, ontario, yonge street, toronto, city, life

The fuzzy part in the corner I had to destroy – Ron put his date of birth and social insurance number on there. Presumably to assure everyone in the public that he’s the real deal. Identity theft is so easy these days. Of course, perhaps you might not want to steal that identity; Ron doesn’t sound like a social climber.

Now I do want to go on record as saying that one’s family should never Robe one, especially not in real life. I might’ve even tossed Ron a quarter, or whatever it was he was asking for. Or .. did he want me to … disRobe him? Haha! No can do, Ron-o!

But where was our Mr. Loeman? One of his competitors came by blurting out, “…whore…holy shit! What the hell is that?!”, pointing at the placard. The drenched-in-urine smell that wafted around the corner with him snapped be back to my senses – you have to admit, the poster is quite mesmerizing. Sucks you in with it’s particular meter and tone. “I Trying To have them Chared in real life…” – haunting, melodic. Tragic (what with the charring and the whatnot).

But I suddenly noted that no one was hanging around the sign. No sign of Doug anywhere.

Guess he’s just trying to get his message out.

So here you go, Ron. Just keep your Robes on and your nose outta trouble. I’m sure it’ll work out in the end.

But what am I supposed to do with your SIN and DOB?

20 Comments on “ In real life ”

  • saadibabar
    February 5th, 2010 8:26 am

    some one help him or he will write his date of births on many other walls and charts…

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  • Patrick
    February 8th, 2010 8:44 am

    Meh. Even if he plastered this info all over town, Saadibabar, I'm not sure anyone would want to do anything with it. But I agree with you about helping — just don't know exactly what that constitutes.

  • DogsDeserveFreedom
    February 5th, 2010 11:10 am

    In real life? as opposed to what?

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  • Patrick
    February 8th, 2010 8:44 am

    As opposed to whatever universe our friend is in, DogsDeserveFreedom :)

  • Kato
    February 5th, 2010 4:54 pm

    Hahaha. In real life. That was great.

    Poor guy, just trying to be honest. Haha!

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  • Patrick
    February 8th, 2010 8:45 am

    Yeah, true enough, Kato. I feel kinda sorry for him too. In real life.

  • SEOリンク
    February 5th, 2010 5:51 pm

    In a really funny life…

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  • Patrick
    February 8th, 2010 8:46 am

    It'd be funnier if there were some farm animals involved, SEO, but I agree :D

  • Inge'
    February 6th, 2010 5:40 am

    Reminds me of the signs I used to see outside the strip clubs in Okinawa. BIG signs with all sorts of broken sentences with the words "Right F&^king Now" at the end of everyone of them.

    Add to that the guy with the bullhorn outside yelling things of this nature, and you have "a wild and crazy"night.

    Where do these people come from?

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  • Patrick
    February 8th, 2010 8:48 am

    They come from the inebriated underbelly of our society, Inge. That's also where the tastiest bacon comes from. :)

  • Jennifer
    February 6th, 2010 12:52 pm

    You should send this in to Found magazine (the sign, that is). It's what they are all about.

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  • Patrick
    February 10th, 2010 2:38 pm

    Thanks for the suggestion, Jennifer. The deed is done :)

  • stanya
    February 6th, 2010 1:15 pm

    I would guess some sort of aliens from wierd part of Universe, trying to sever human's attention from more serious problems on the Earth. How about that?

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  • Patrick
    February 8th, 2010 8:49 am

    Haha! In real life, Stanya, it's just humans. Alien-like, granted, but still human.

  • michael
    March 14th, 2010 7:53 am

    ron is character, forsure.

    About two years ago he was going around to local business's drawing big chalk logo's infront of stores, asking for them to contact head office because he wanted a job in the art department of the company. this ranged from higher end retailers, to hot dog stands. He was a friendly guy as much as i talked to him, always ending a conversation with 'thank you's' and 'god bless you's, but damn persistant. I saw a similar sign with my co-worker the other day around front and yonge, and it answered my question, "what the hell happened to that ron loeman guy?". Interesting to stumble upon this.

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  • Patrick
    March 16th, 2010 4:30 am

    Glad I could help with that, Michael. I don't believe I've actually met Ron in person but the sign seemed earnest enough. Hope I get to run into him one day to ask him the whole story.

  • sevres-babylone
    April 19th, 2012 1:20 pm

    I just caught this signage yesterday by Bay and Wellington. Glad you had this posting, so I learned there is a history to it.

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  • Gordon
    September 5th, 2012 7:24 am

    Where are all these Ronald posts?
    Been Trying to find Ronald for many years, and I finally find these pics

    I’m his brother. If its the same person I can prove his birth date

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  • Gordon
    October 11th, 2012 8:48 pm

    Happy Birthday Ronald

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  • Anonymous
    August 19th, 2015 12:10 am

    I am sorry for what my brother has done or is doing. BUT he is a human being and please treat him that way. I would appreciate any direction you can give me about his where abouts. THANK YOU

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