Wisdom of the flock

Posted on December 6th, 2010 No comments. The post is really that bad, huh?

Funny how you forget the little things year after year.

Like the gusts that tear at your exposed flesh at every opportunity, completely oblivious to what the weather report said. And how at -1° Celsius (30° Fahrenheit), you’re allowed to say that the air is literally freezing.

But there you have it, eh? Winter.

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Found myself at a party a couple of weekends ago. It featured Turducken.

I usually look up everything but, for some reason, took this invite at its word. Whatever Turducken was, I was sure it would be okay.

Turned out to be a Turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken. I posited that the only way to improve this would be to wrap it in bacon: Baturducken.

The regular instigators were there, as well as a number of people I hadn’t met before.

I shook everyone’s hand and shook my head clear of their names as soon as I heard them, pretty much par for the course don’tcha know. I figure, if it’s really that important, there are lots of ways to figure out how to address someone.

The evening was swell, I ate miscellaneous fowl, imbibed various spirits, and had lots of nice conversations.

Following a brief discussion of how some guy died after being “made love to” (my words) by a horse, the evening was capped with a talk about Mexican girl and donkey shows.

I have to say, it totally changed my perceptions.

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I thought I’d seen all the weirdest porn that the Internet had to offer, yet found myself bested by three women — finally and unequivocally proving that the ladies are perhaps not as pristine as they may intimate. (raised eyebrows) Yeah.

I noted how the conversation had gone down south so quickly, but no one seemed to register either entendre. And since I hadn’t seen any of said Mexican shows, I didn’t have much else to contribute. Isn’t that always the way?

The evening ended much as it had started, with me walking through the door half-baked (I pre-drink, thus saving the host some alcohol, thus being a courteous guest). I might’ve left all my contributions behind, but I came away with a happy arm-full of knowledge.

Thus I put to you:

Continuing education, it’s the shit.

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