IT’S TIME TO PANIC!


 Posted on July 9th, 2013
 by Patrick No comments. The post is really that bad, huh?

I usually walk to and from the office, but yesterday’s touch of rain made me alter my regular plans.

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The longest part of the trip was getting out of the subway station, but that might’ve been more tolerable had it not been for the special TTC constables who were not only not attempting to direct the flow of ever-growing foot traffic, but were actually misdirecting people and spreading false stories.

“Union Station is completely shut down, people! Nothing’s running! Nothing! The entire city is shut down, no one has any power, so no one’s going anywhere! Everything’s flooded!”

Luckily the incredulous crowd had their own plans to get to wherever they were going and only wanted facts, which they soon realized they would not get from the “authorities”, each of which had their own version of events.

Even Ford couldn’t help but fan the flames of panic:

“Toronto has persevered; we have weathered the storm,” Ford said, before stressing the need to reduce electricity consumption over the next 24 hours.

“This is crucial that we all reduce our electricity for today to help relieve the strain on our hydro system. We’re hanging on by a thread right now,” he said.

Holy shit! Toronto’s about to go under!

IT’S TIME TO PANIC, PEOPLE!

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