Toronto City Life » B Sides

At this point the only way anyone could justify supporting Rob Ford or any of his brainless, spineless minions is to literally shut oneself off in a cave somewhere and simply ignore reality.

First off there’s the budget surplus which seems to be growing by tens of millions per day, which runs exactly opposite to the claims that Rob Ford made about a budget deficit which, if they’re to be believed, is also growing ($382 million last February, $774 at present). I use the word “believed” because only a few short months earlier, Toronto was running a healthy surplus. What happened? Rob Ford got elected, that’s what.

The astute reader may say, “but we’re talking about the operating budget here”, to which there’s a simple reply: that’s the proposed budget — the one Rob Ford pulled out of his ass with the help of his overpaid buddies at KPGM, at the start of his term to support his idiotic cuts like the Vehicle Registration Tax. Yes, idiotic, because when you crunch the numbers, the savings for a small household are so tiny compared to all the outrageous cuts that are being proposed that, frankly, anyone who believes that an extra $0.16 per day in your pocket is “respect” has much bigger issues on their plate.

It’s simple: $60 saved on the VRT comes out to $0.16 per day, or $1.12 a week. Oooooh — big money! Now, with an increase in TTC fare hikes, assuming one person in the household takes transit only a couple of times a week (-$0.20), you’re now only saving $0.13 per day. Add to that an additional $5 (on average), for a Toronto Hydro rate hike which Ford could’ve helped to offset, you’re down an additional $0.08 a day.

So, really, you have roughly $0.03 more in your pocket thanks to Rob Ford’s cuts — but only if you drive a car. In exchange, everything else is being cut. And if you’re claiming that $10.95 a year is worth it to you in light of all this austerity (let’s call it by its real name), I feel genuinely sorry for you and your situation — you must be living in the most abject poverty imaginable.

But it doesn’t end there.

It was revealed today that the cost of Ford’s anti-bicycle campaign, which resulted in the ripping up of the Jarvis Street bike lane, cost around $272,000 which for some bizarre reason is more than twice as much as it did to put in under David Miller. So much for “efficiencies”. Oh, and in case you were wondering, had Ford not put his hatred of bikes into practice, it would’ve saved each and every Toronto taxpayer about $0.05 — or just shy of half of the stupendous VRT money that only drivers pocket (I’m assuming a population of 5 million for this calculation). Add to this the cost of the KPMG report at $3 million dollars and everyone could’ve had an additional $0.06.

Put all this together and it’s plain as day that Ford is costing taxpayers money, not saving it:

Saving for drivers: $0.03
Cost to everyone: $0.11
Average gain per taxpayer: -$0.08

And, of course, this doesn’t take into account the fact that services are on the chopping block which, if they’re necessary for some residents, could add a much larger chunk to expenditures. And for the home owners out there who think Ford’s other stroke of brilliance, removing the Land Transfer Tax, think they’re going to see more money every year, are sadly mistaken as well. At an estimated $300 million per year, and assuming that only half of Toronto residents are home owners, it averages out to about $0.32 of extra cash in the pocket of each household, or $0.17 per taxpayer. Except that’s a full elimination of the tax which Ford said he wouldn’t do. Instead, he’s pledging to reduce this by about 25% per year, which makes the real number close to $0.04 per taxpayer.

The revised numbers, sadly, are still in the red:

Average gain per taxpayer: -$0.08
LRT saving: $0.04
Average gain per taxpayer: -$0.04

Even under ideal conditions — no VRT, no LRT, etc. — taxpayers will be forking over an additional $0.04 this year, not saving it. And keep in mind this only applies if you drive a car or own a home — for everyone else it’ll be worse. So when Rob Ford then pronounces that we need to cut services in order to make up the shortfall that he created, that’s not “respect for the taxpayer”, that’s a slap to the face of every hard-working citizen of the city.

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Who Let the Sickness In?

Katherine — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 10:50:46 +0000

Guess what I did on Friday night?

I went bowling. It was Jess’s birthday on Wednesday (Happy Birthday Jessi!) and she wanted to go bowling. So we saved it for Friday and off we went. It was good too, because the week I had had made me want to throw things into other things and knock everything down.

There just might be a few people at my work place who drive me insane. Not going to go into why, just know that if you took everything that irritates you in the world and times’d it by a million, that’s how much these people irritate me. I ran out of there at 6PM like my ass was on fire because I needed to down the biggest beer I could find. Did that, and felt much better.

I won at losing. I choose to see the glass half full, thank you.

I love people watching at bowling alleys. You get all kinds. Apparently Friday night is date night. There was an older couple beside us that kept full on making out EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY HIT A PIN. Hey, I am not one to poo poo a cute love fest, but when you are practically taking each other’s clothes off, it’s time to leave and move on to the next part of the date man.

And then a young couple took their place once the older couple left to go bowling in bed, and you could tell it was the first date for them. SO AWKWARD. She kept doing this weird little dance every time she hit a few pins and he kept ignoring her and texting someone else. HE WILL DO THAT TO YOU FOR THE ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP, SO GET OUT NOW. Aren’t I just a dear Abby tonight?

Crazy face! I was drunk here. I was drowning my work woes, along with the fact that I was starting to feel crappy (and the full on sick hit me when the beer wore off), and the fact that it was FREEZING outside. Raining and windy and really, really cold. I felt winter in my bones people. Tonight is going to feel like -1 degree Celsius (30F). Brrr….so what do you guys say? Snow Watch 2011? Is it on?

These lights kept tripping me out. I kept seeing them out of the corner of my eye and I kept thinking that bowling balls were flying at my head. I kept ducking. A cool combo of the beer and my sick, spaced out brain was causing me to be delusional.

This is awesome, I know.

And then we stole someone else’s bowling thingy. I was Betty. That means I am hot.

On the way home, we decided to stop into a convenience store and pick up some ‘food’. I had to take a picture of this box of Cornflakes that was on the shelf because it is CREEPY. That kid is less cutesy and more Gage from Pet Semetary. How old is this box? Or is Kellogg’s (my nickname in high school) doing a throwback to the 60′s?

This hot dog was the only thing I wanted today. And then it made me want to barf.

I woke up today feeling like ass. Thanks people in the office who all got sick! I thought I would be able to fight this one off, but nope. My sore throat kept waking me up in the middle of the night. That only happens when I am really sick. I won’t go down easily though…vitamin C, echinacea, garlic pills and lots of herbal tea are my soldiers.

Sometimes when I am sick and delirious, I wear a bag on my head. Because that is how awesome I feel.

Look at this freaking cat. Cool way to sit. Her paws could punch you out.

I went and helped my sister at her new place today. I was supposed to help her move and it didn’t happen. She told me not to worry about it and just come by to help her later, so I did. Well, I didn’t so much help as stare at things and breath deep overwhelmed sighs all evening long. I would open a box, sort of shuffle the contents with my finger and decide it was too hard to sort through. This is what being sick does to me, I can’t deal. Normally I plow through shit until it’s done.

So tonight is all about my fuzzy slippers and video games. That is pumpkin beer you see there as well. I tried to drink it and just couldn’t stomach it.

I look like an old person who has never played video games before. ”Oh ok, like this deah?”.

Sunday’s agenda consists of coffee, bacon and eggs, a new book and pajamas all day. It’s going to be cold and rainy…a perfect day to stay inside.

Happy rest of your weekend!

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Changes

Katherine — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 01:50:44 +0000

Do you guys remember the feeling when your life changed? Not in a bad way or anything, but in a big way. For instance, my sister is moving to the city, and my parents are moving away. Not too far, only two hours or so, but they will be gone…off doing their own thing and having fun in their retirement years (thank god! It’s about time). I guess it’s just weird because my entire family will be spread out now. We are all going our own ways in life, and although we will see each other often, it just feels…strange. Maybe it’s the fact that I will never visit Orangeville again after Thanksgiving (my parents move afterwards) and I have lived/ gone back there since I was 11-years-old. So yeah, changes. Good ones, but changes nonetheless.

So, moving means helping with things. Things like painting and lifting. When my sister found her place here in the city, of course I offered to help her paint before she moved in. So that is what my Saturday consisted of…painting like a machine.

Before pictures: awesome white walls. My sister is going to kill me when she sees I posted this picture of her. I don’t know why…she looks great. Ready to paint!

I love how bright it is. It reminds me of mine and Dave’s old apartment. We miss that place like crazy!

My mouth is full of crackers. That is all we ate. We painted for 6 hours non-stop and all we ate was a mouthful of crackers. We barely drank a thing either, too busy to think about it I guess. Painting takes a lot out of you man. By the time we called it quits for the day we were tired, sore and covered in layers of paint. We decided on the easiest option when it came to food: McDonalds. I was getting all aggravated that EVERYONE was staring at us when we walked in there, and then I was like ‘oh right, we are sweaty and covered from head to toe in paint’. Sexy.

Look at that awesome neutral tan colour! It looks gorgeous!

Grey for the bedroom. I love this colour for a bedroom.

It was fucking HOT. So much for Fall weather, it was stifling that day. My hair was dripping wet (yeah, awesome) with sweat. It was brutal. I kept looking longingly outside, wishing I was out there with a cold lemonade, watching OTHER people paint my sister’s place.

I had to get as much window time as I could. I needed to cool down for a few minutes before tackling the next wall.

Look at my hair. It was curling and starting to frizz from the heat and my sweatiness. Are you guys grossed out yet that I keep talking about how sweaty I was?

After a long, hard day of just getting it all done, no talking, no complaining, my sister whined at convinced me to go back to Orangeville with her to party with her friends that night.

We got to my parents house at around 8:30 that evening, moaned a whole lot about our different aches and pains, and then decided to just go to bed. HA! We are such party animals. I crashed. HARD.

So the next day at my folks’ house, I was looking around and thinking that I would only ever come back here one more time when we all gather for Thanksgiving, and then that’s it. But I want to let you guys in on a secret: THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

I hated Orangeville when we first moved there when I was a kid. And the hate NEVER WENT AWAY. Now, I hope that my Orangeville friends who read this don’t get offended, but it just never grew on me. We moved there from a much bigger city (it’s a really small town) and I was always an outsider. I was glad to leave it myself, first for university, and then for good when I moved to Toronto 6 years ago. I have always said that I thought Orangeville was built over a giant Indian burial ground, and if any of you watch horror movies, you know what that means.

Anyway, my point is that I decided to take some pictures of my parents disorganized and in the middle of a move house. Cool?

So my father is obsessed with plants.

He also built this fireplace and mantel himself. Well, the fireplace was already there, he just made it pretty all around.

I love my parents bedroom. It has windows like this on every wall. I used to wait at this window for my ex boyfriend to pick me up to go out and I would sigh impatiently and be incredibly annoyed because he was always late. Yeah, that went on for years. Now I am always late.

Jacuzzi bathtub in the middle of the room. I am definitely going to miss that.

The drive. Ha! As if we are dignitaries.

Oh look! It’s my parents pooch Chivas. Yeah, after the scotch. Love this little guy.

Oh and look! It’s the lawn where…yeah, I never did anything on this lawn ever. Nary a cartwheel or a hill roll.

This guy is the love of my life. His name is Felix, and he is a hundred years old (if you couldn’t tell). He is the sweetest guy and he own my heart…he has lived a long, eventful life and I think time for him has slowed down as much as it will. He is living out the rest of his days in patches of sunshine, eating the dog’s food. No one shoos him away from it because, well, look at him. You can almost see Death grinning on his shoulder.

My dad built this ramp for our potbelly pig, Priscilla. She was really big and fat and couldn’t walk down stairs so he built her a ramp into the backyard where she could dig up the grass as much as she wanted to. She lived in the house and so would whine to go out, just like a dog. Pigs are smart. I miss that fat piggy, she was a funny girl. I was telling a story today about how she ate the pepper spray out of my purse. Just chomped right on down and busted the canister and ate it. That was AFTER she sprinkled it on my books, bedspread and whatever else was on the floor in my bedroom. Because she ate all those things too. No we didn’t eat her, but that day I wanted to!

My sweet old guy.

Peekaboo!

Sunday we went back to Krista’s new place and did it all again. Needless to say, I was pretty wiped by Sunday night. As you can tell by the amazing picture below. At least I am clean in it. Wait, no, I’m not.

This Saturday, it’s moving day! Guess who got suckered into helping?

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Getting Souzed

Katherine — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 15:06:01 +0000

Last night Dave and I went out with our friends Di and James. Love them HARD. Sounds perverted. It is.

We started out at our local hole in the wall, hanging out on the patio, but Di knew that if she got a few drinks in me that she could drag my ass elsewhere. Which is what ended up happening. We hopped in a cab and she took us to one of her many amazing discoveries, Souz Dal.

This place is super dark, all candlelit and inviting. I can imagine walking by on a blistery winter night and wanting to nip in for something to warm your bones. In other words, awesome.

Di was like, whoa scary face! And of course I had to post it. That’s not a scary face, that’s my real face. I walk around looking psycho surprised at all times. And Dave looks timid and hunched over, like I am about to hurt him. Again.

There you go. Dave looks no different.

Seriously, love these two like family.

Inside of the bar. Dark and lovely. The bartendress was amazing and sweet. She also almost spilled Glenlivet on me, which made me like her more. Because that’s something I would do. One time I worked in a restaurant and spilled an entire large coke on a guy’s lap. I was so apologetic and instantly dropped to me knees to clean things up that he found me endearing. He even left me a big tip. SOME people in this world are pretty cool.

Di ordered me a martini based on the fact that the name of it sounds the same as a map in Call of Duty. THIS IS WHY I LOVE HER.

Oh my god. There was a fortune cookie in my drink. It’s these kinds of things that make me love life.

We went out on the patio so Di could breath in some fresh air (hmmmm) and I loved it. It’s like a little mini haven out there. It was FREEZING last night. Like, close to 0 degrees Celsius. Really close. Until your body gets used to it there is a lot of shivering and chattering of teeth and solidarity with strangers who smile and give you understanding looks. I don’t even remember when it went from hot to cold. It just happened overnight. There was no easing into it, and now the cold feels normal. Sigh. I know winter is coming because I turn into a ravenous bear who needs to eat everything in sight. As soon as I take the last bite of a meal my belly is rumbling for the next. Can’t wait to hibernate.

Got home kind of late, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get up. I was really tired but I did it. We watched some t.v. when we got home before we went to bed and it was so cold in our apartment that I couldn’t concentrate on what we were watching. I just wanted to crawl under the covers.

See? Mittens. And a scarf. Currently my fingers are screaming at me because they are too cold to move limberly across the keys.

Trees are still green, but they are dull. So many of them have already starting turning.

Aww yeah. That’s my taking a shit face. Just kidding. It would be weird to constantly smile while you took a poop.

With the cold weather comes the slippery elm. Lozenges for a sore throat. They are nature’s gentle lubricant after all. Pervy. Do you think that 15 people sat around a boardroom thinking up a slogan and when one guy was like, “I’ve got it! Nature’s Gentle Lubricant!”, everyone giggled behind their hands but no one said anything because they didn’t want to seem immature? I probably would have said something.

I like the dainty lace sleeves.

I was like, ‘give me sexy Dave!’. Sigh…he is a natural.

Speeeaaaking of sexay….

HOT. SHIT.

After work I was like time for a hot chocolate. Fall Watch 2011 has revealed more evidence of leaves changing colour. Do you see them poking out there?

Ok, so maybe I wasn’t fully awake when I got dressed this morning. Striped green shirt, flowery brown socks and plaid shoes??? Well….whatever it kind of works. In an eccentric crazy person kind of way. One time I was downtown and I was wearing crazy socks with my crazy flats and I heard someone say, “I LOVE your sock and shoe combination!” and when I looked up to say thank you I saw that it was a crazy eccentric hippie woman with wild hair wearing all the colours of the rainbow.

Goodbye sun. You were strong for months, and now it’s time to rest.

So we went to a well known coffee shop for the hot chocolate. A place that rhymes with BARFUCKS. I took a picture of these neat thingies hanging on the wall and the girl behind the counter was like, “Uhhh..you are not allowed to take pictures. BARFUCKS WILL SUE YOU.” Ok, first of all, I am an asshole teenager in my way of thinking, and you just told me NOT to do something. This means I am most likely going to go ahead and do it. She went on and on about policy and the website and blah blah crap blah, and I was like, “Cool. How corporate”. And the guy next to her was trying to reason with her inane chatter, and she kept going on and on. Whatever.

Haha! Seriously. How do my parents put up with me?

Oh but that salted caramel goodness is hard to stay mad at. I got lactose free milk (lactose intolerance what what?!) and it still killed me. Like, in an intense way. What does this mean? I am being serious here…if anyone knows the answer to this please let me know. I saw him use lactose free milk, so that is not the answer lazy asses.

Fun times. I have a busy weekend planned, a FUN busy weekend that I can’t wait for. So stay tuned for that! We have to make the most of these snow free weekends while we can!

Have a great Friday night!

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Thanks, Jack (part 3)

Patrick — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 18:32:07 +0000

Jack Layton’s casket at City Hall being viewed by the public on Friday evening, one of the last chances that the general public had to pay their respects before the funeral on Saturday.

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Everyday is An Adventure in Kato Land

Katherine — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 16:50:03 +0000

This past Monday, I had an appointment at the hospital for my 4 times a year check up with my hematologist. No biggie, just a standard check in. I have a wonky blood disease thing going on (have had it since birth, hereditary shit, THANKS DAD, brother has it too), and I just have to make sure all my levels are, well…level.

I had to go to work for a few hours before hand, and then rush off downtown to make sure that all was well in this here bod. Of course, Dave being the sweet gentleman that he is, came with me to my appointment, even though he really doesn’t like hospitals.

Walking to work that morning, it was beautiful.

Looking back at this picture later that day, Dave said I was grumpy here. I responded with “I WAS NOT GRUMPY!”, and then I punched him in the face. Just kidding.

Oh hey! Who’s this boy you are taking a picture of?? Why….it’s ME! Sometimes if I don’t do my hair right, I look like someone who yodels and wears lederhosen.

Yeah like this guy.

Fig.1

Or him. Which is fine with me. OMG guyz, I have the same haircut as He-man. “By the power of Greyskull!”.

Fig.2

There’s those pink camouflage nails again!

At the hospital, waiting to do my blood tests. This day was fantastic because usually I am there for 4-5 hours doing tests and whatnot, but on this particular day, it was barely an hour! Fantastic!

Sweet guy…he always comes with me. I would be incredibly bored without him.

This wall in the waiting area is neat. It is a wall made of ceramic tiles that depict different medicinal herbs. I like. Must have taken forever to create.

Haha! Blood tests are done! I have to warn the nurses every time that my veins are a) non-existent, and b) covered in scar tissue (which makes me look a bit like a heroin addict). Therefore, neither option is good, but some like one better than the other. The nurse who worked on me that day was a PRO. She picked scar tissue veins.

Dave trying to teach me about the macro setting on my camera. Yeah thanks Dave, I had NOOOOO idea. Sigh.

And now on to the better part of the day. The part where we got out of there early and decided to go on an adventure! We booked it in the opposite direction to see where life would take us. Pretty…kind of sums up our life together nicely, that line does.

Hogwarts Hart House at the University of Toronto. We had never been there before. So we decided to wander around inside for a while.

Honestly!!! Did we stumble into a Harry Potter vortex? Because this room reminded me A LOT of Hogwarts. So awesome!

This is me, doing magic. I am a good magic doer.

And then I decided to do some ballet? That’s a pretty rad plie I am pulling off.

See? Hogwarts! We spied some winding stairs off to the side that led up to Dumbledore’s office! For some reason I was talking about sherbert lemon sweets and these stairs appeared. Weird!

Note the hair. Refer back to fig. 1 above.

In the winding stairs stairwell.

Hilarious.

Every single door in this place was awesome. So mysterious and castle-like. You never knew where they would lead.

Like this one that led down a winding staircase. Into what sounded like a basketball court.

Haha! Fally.

And then there were bricked up doorways. I am sure this one led to torturous dungeons at one point in time. Why ELSE would it be bricked up? It’s to try and forget the horrors that took place there, many years ago. Right??

You guys have NO IDEA how many pictures I have of Dave standing behind an alter of some sort, doing this. Sigh.

Purple for royalty. I like the colors in this room.

It started raining while we were exploring, which only added to the castle vortex feel even more.

Part deux coming up!

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Indulgence

Katherine — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 01:50:13 +0000

Since I deemed 2011 as ‘The Year of Me’, I have been pushing myself to embrace this and focus on myself more. Sounds selfish, I know. I feel selfish sometimes. But I also think that once you have been in a relationship for a long time, some people lose their identity and you become more of ‘a couple’ and no longer an individual. In a lot of ways, I love being a couple. But in other ways, I like being me, and doing things JUST for me. Stuff that I would do for myself when I was single, and not always thinking of the ‘other half’. It’s important. Some may call it selfish. I call it NECESSARY.

And this is why I have been going out more with friends, and being silly and buying too much nail polish and FAR too much jewellery. Because these are things that make me feel as if I am spoiling myself, and it makes me happy!

Like sitting on rooftop patios and drinking beer at sunset with amazing friends. What’s not to love about this scenario?

Aquila has an amazing rooftop patio, and they make deee-liscious ribs. No joke. Check it out if you are in the Junction!

Had to cut Ms. Jessica out of the picture. She doesn’t like her picture being taken, and right now, I must honour her wishes. Look at how lazy I was…too lazy to put my sweater on the right way.

Tonight we ordered in. I got home from work late and I am sleepy, so we indulged and ordered Vesuvio’s! Yum! Honestly, we have such great restaurants in our hood. We are lucky.

I had a boner for this necklace as soon as I saw it. Again, Curious Oddities, my favourite jewellery designer EVER. I saw it a little over a week ago when I had no money and essentially kissed it goodbye. I went in again today and was looking for something else to appease my addiction, and after looking forever, saw MY necklace tucked away in a hidden spot! Woohoo! Kat, you are going to be rich because of me.

Those are pink camouflage nails, yes.

It works too!

Sigh, so pretty. I belong on a pirate ship.

And then I bought some Sugar Rush rings. One for me, one for my sister. They are the same ring, just opposite colours. Love them!

Cool price tags.

And then my dinner came. All I wanted was something to nibble on, so I ordered the antipasto. So delicious. Olives, sharp cheese (and bocconcini), roasted red peppers, zucchini, salami, prosciutto, and a glass of wine. The wine didn’t come with the delivery. I wish.

It has been an indulgent day folks! But again, every once in a while it’s ok. In fact, you should partake in a few indulgences! Think of it as necessary for your health. You wouldn’t want to be un-healthy would you?

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Photo Dumpage: July Edition

Katherine — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 22:31:41 +0000

I needed to dump my pictures off my phone, so here you all are! The July edition of shitty pictures from my iPhone!

The day I got my hair cut…it was a wonderful day of swimming and wine and sunburns. And I love my hair. AND my high-wasted jeans DAVE. They DO NOT give me mom butt!

This tree is called a burning bush, or something like that. All I heard was ‘bush’ (giggle) because I am a child like that.

Oh yeah, these things. Ants. Right. Seems like every week, after garbage day, these guys show up and lap up all the spilled garbage liquid. Oh my god that is disgusting when you write it down like that. Anyway, there are hundreds of them!! All teeming and working…I fell in love with ants after watching Honey I Shrunk the Kids. When they adopt an ant and call him Anty. And then he dies for them. Sigh.

Let me give you guys some context, size-wise, here! Also, Dave likes to pet ants, did you know that? He is weird.

I screwed up my foot. Don’t listen to someone if they tell you that working out in your bare feet is the best way to do it. I was trying to be all hippie and shit, you know, paying attention to the ‘natural shock absorbers’ in my feet, being one with the earth and all. Yeah, that doesn’t happen. Instead what does happen is you wake up one morning with a fat sore foot, feeling sheepish for thinking you could possibly work out in your bare feet and remain injury free. In retrospect, there is nothing natural about a jumping jack. Glad to be of service here. Use my stupidity to avoid your own.

It was ok after a week or so. I wear shoes now.

Out one night with my sister best friend, we spotted this thing. I think it’s a bike/ music/ something or other. Creative is what it is. I love that it was just parked outside of the person’s house. How happy would you be every day riding to work in that thing?

My right arm. And leg. Love this girl. Without her I couldn’t function properly in life.

It twas a rainy evening, this twas. I was just starting to battle my month long sinus/ chest infection/ cold, so I felt pretty yucky. I just wanted to be in my pjs, watching Harry Potter. So that is what we did.

The rain un-straightened my hair.

Freaking cat.

Mmmm. Pork and beef tortiere. I just call it the yummiest thing I have ever consumed.

Dave reading the directions on the phyllo (filo) dough box for me. My baba rolled over in her grave over that one. What Macedonian needs to read directions on how to use phyllo dough? I ended up not really needing it in the end. All you really need is a lot of freaking butter and you are good to go.

I wrapped it around half a small wheel of brie. So. Effing. Good.

See? Buttered up.

Let it cool first. Don’t just rip into like we did, because we are vultures. It’s great on crackers, or just on it’s own.

Yeah, alright.

Look! It’s the pink bike!! I also have a picture of a yellow one too! Colorful Bike Watch Toronto has turned up pink, gold, and yellow so far. All in different spots in the city. Wonder what these are for?

Whoa there. Tone it down would you?

Hope you are all having a happy Tuesday!

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Real Time

Katherine — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 09:50:38 +0000

Been feeling out of sorts lately. No biggie, just a bit run down…indecisive. I am only indecisive when I can’t think properly because I am not getting enough sleep. This needs to be rectified.

Dave and I decided to have a low key Saturday. We could have said yes to plans from a few different friends, but I wasn’t having it. So really, I decided to have a low key Saturday (sorry Dave!).

Low key means going shopping. IN A MALL. You all must know about my undying hatred of malls by now. Why do I do this to myself? Yeah my face about sums it up.

It helped that it was such a gorgeous day. These types of days are numbered around here you know. I can already sense Autumn and it is only August.

So bright.

Of course, we went to our favourite place on this earth, Cool Hand of a Girl. Thanks for letting us barge in half an hour before closing and making us some delicious food. I love them there. Everyone needs to check this place out. West end, in the Junction. Tell them Katherine sent you. Actually…don’t. They don’t know my name.

Sigh. I hold the sight of these blue skies dear. I will have to try and conjure up this image (or I could just, you know, look at it) two months from now when the skies are always grey.

Look at how much I love him. It’s gross isn’t it?

We decided to walk home from the mall. I was all kinds of indecisive in there too. I hate being this way. But I DID decide on a great handbag and wallet. And wine. The taste tester guy was wearing converse so that sealed the deal for me. No need to tell me about the wine…you are wearing converse. I trust you. Anyone else like that, or is it just me?

Such an inviting field. And it was all locked up tight, which means there wasn’t an ounce of dog poop on the grass. Perfect for rolling around in. The grass, not the poop. Such a shame we couldn’t get in. Look at the CN Tower though right? It’s a thing of beauty. You can see it from all over on a clear day. Even by my parents house which is an hour North of Toronto.

Honestly!! Good choice on the colour scheme! Blue fence with yellow sunflowers? I want to kiss these people!

I included this blurry picture because I wanted you all to see how my jeans hang off me these days. My hard work is paying off. I shouldn’t be buying expensive bags, I should be buying myself new clothes as the ones I have all fall off me. I look frumpy. Not that I am complaining too much!

Gold bike! This won’t really make sense until I post the picture I have of the pink bike. I hope you aren’t expecting anything spectacular now, it’s just a pink bike.

Nice night for a walk.

Toronto really is a beautiful place to be.

So quiet and peaceful. Well, down there anyway. Where we were was a super busy street. But down there the crickets were so loud and it looked so inviting…I told Dave I wanted to sleep there. I don’t really, on account of rapist murderers, but it was a nice sentiment.

The candy factory! Sometimes when the wind is blowing right, the entire world smells like chocolate in this area. I knew a gentleman named Yanosh who used to come into Second Cup all the time when I worked there, and he was honestly a walking talking Willy Wonka. And guess where he worked? The candy factory! I gave him his coffee fix for free and he gave me my candy fix for free. It was a great little deal we had going there.

Cool face Dave. We are looking after my friend’s cat for a week, so before we headed home we stopped in to feed him and love him. We are watching shit on their Netflix, and we are currently watching a documentary on the complete history of the horror film. It’s really good. Lots of movies from my childhood are included in it. I learned that most little kids who watch a lot of old Disney movies usually evolve into watching horror films because old Disney movies are all fucked up and scary. This gal was a Disney gal. So that’s where my mental comes from. Hmmm.

I love their place.

Creepy. It was starting to get dark. Too lazy to get up and turn on a light. We walked for hours today.

The wine we bought. Nice label. Nice name. I wonder how many dudes buy this wine? The guy said that the name and label turn a lot of people off, but that it’s really good wine. I have had a glass already and I can say that yes, it is good wine. The label is quite interesting though…Pretty Woman wine.

I like my asshole lips in this one.

Honestly. Look at that sweet wallet. Please note that I am smiling with my eyes. Tyra Banks would call this ‘smizing’ and we all know how much of a genius she is.

Happiness. Danier leather baby. My taste is changing into a much more UN-AFFORDABLE one when it comes to handbags. This bag has a warranty on it. Please kill me now before I kill myself with crushing debt. Also, I am pretty sure this is an unacceptable face in fashion.

The loot. That card on my beautiful new bag is Dave’s PSN card. Thanks for following me around all day while I purse shopped Dave. You earned that one.

Oh and then I spied a cupcake. And my eyes got all anime big.

Food porn. Spiced cupcakes with homemade cinnamon and vanilla butter cream frosting. Gaaaaaaa….

All gone mom. I took my medicine like a good girl. I want to erase that line it sounds so perverted.

And we also bought Kernals popcorn. I am salivating thinking about it.

I wish my life was like this everyday. Surrounded by fluffy popcorn. And my stupid face.

Well folks, time to go enjoy some of that wine and eat a lot of that popcorn. I may even carry my new handbag around just for fun. It’s ok that I am in my pajamas right?

Have a great rest of your weekend!

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Weekend Crazies: Part 3

Katherine — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 15:02:43 +0000

The moment you have all been waiting for!! Well, maybe not. But I have been waiting a long time to post it, so there’s that.

Seriously though, I am so glad I finally get to talk about this in detail, because it has been an amazing road for so many people.

Back in 2005, Dave was a recent graduate of the Toronto Film School, and he just so happened to meet a director named Darryl Shaw. Darryl was looking for a guy to do location sound for a short film of his. Dave ended up being that guy, and their relationship grew from there.

Skip to 2008: Darryl had written a masterpiece called Android Re-Enactment. Having been friends for a few years at this point, Darryl knew how talented Dave was in scoring films, and he asked him to score Android Re-Enactment. Darryl rounded up an amazing cast and crew (he directed the movie as well as wrote it), and they all took off for four months to film an awesome movie.

And here we are now. The private screening for cast, crew, family and friends was mind-blowing. Everyone involved in this film just loved it, and their enthusiasm for it rubbed off on EVERYONE lucky enough to be a part of it all on July 25th, 2011.Krista and I outside the theatre downtown. I was a big ball of nerves at this point. I was nervous for Dave because this had been three years in the making. Everyone worked their asses off to get this film out there. This was the first time that everyone (besides a few people) would be hearing Dave’s music.

Poor guy. I know how he was feeling and this picture brings me back to that moment!

Pure awesomeness. The main actor in the film wears a lab coat a lot of the time, so they had people in lab coats wandering around asking if you had taken your medicine yet. A nice touch, and fun. Totally helped draw people in more.

Oh look! John joined us, so you know the after party was a pure shit show.

Did I mention that I hadn’t watched the movie yet? I had seen bits and pieces when Dave needed an opinion on a piece he was working on, but I wanted to wait and watch it in it’s entirety, when it was all finally pulled together.

IT WAS FANTASTIC. The writing, directing, the actors, the music…I was literally BLOWN AWAY. I am not sure what my expectations were going into it, but it far surpassed anything I may have thought about how good it was. Wow. I have heard a quote again and again surrounding this movie: the little movie that could. It could, it did, and it WILL. Amazing.

Intermission. There was press waiting to hear everyone’s thoughts regarding the movie, I chickened out at the last second. Regret it. Took pictures in the bathroom instead.

After intermission there was a Q & A with the cast and crew. Dave was pretty nervous when he walked down that aisle. He didn’t need to tell me this, I could feel it from where I was sitting. I was nervous for him.

That’s Dave on the end.

Sorry for the crappy quality of the video. Dave was asked about the process he went through composing the score.

Cast and crew press pictures.

The talented writer/ director on the left, Darryl Shaw.

Good lord. Lots of people taking pictures! P.S- Dave’s brother Steve designed and drew the God in the Grass Productions logo you see behind us.

Merch. Still need to buy a shirt. Hey Darryl, make girly shirts!

After party at the Bovine Sex Club. Relax, it’s just a name. We aren’t rich yet.

We had to work the next day by the way. Didn’t get home until 3:30AM and we were up by 8:30AM. Maybe this is why I got really sick for a week afterwards?

Seriously this place.

Di you look beautiful.

It really was a shit show. Too much to drink, and fun was had by all. Everyone there loved the movie and everyone was in a great mood. The director thanked me (!!!!!) for everything. I was like, for coming? No problem! He said, “No, for supporting and being behind Dave through all this”. Something along the lines of behind every great man…well hey….no problem. Excuse me while I go blush furiously in a corner.

And now let’s get to the best part of this damn post: the trailer for Android Re-Enactment. Like it on YouTube!

Listen to Dave’s demo reel with samples from the movie! The song Golden Spiral is super catchy (Dave is singing on it!) Click on the MajorSecondMusic link to hear more. He has another song on there that he did for a show that yours truly may or may not be featured in (I am embarrassed already).

Demo Reel (Medley) by MajorSecondMusic

Golden Spiral by MajorSecondMusic

Thanks to everyone who let me be a part of this, no matter how tiny my role was. Doors are being opened and great things are coming because of this movie. Stay tuned for a release date!

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Weekend Crazies: Part 1

Katherine — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 16:59:28 +0000

I wanted my nails to look like a watermelon. Did I succeed? Well whatever, they still made me happy.

As do these lovely Canadian flag colored flowers.

So remember a couple of posts ago when I said I was going to trick my sister into eating some of those gross jelly beans? Yeah she fell for it. Hook, line and sinker! Dave was amazing, he was a champ at pretending that they were delicious.

HAHA!

Not impressed.

And then she passed the tradition on. Last night she found some and made her friends eat them. Sigh. I love life sometimes.

The next day we had to go to the mall. On a Saturday. Have I ever told you how much I despise malls every day of the week, but Saturday the MOST? Busy busy, people walk too slow, screaming kids, spend too much money.

But I really needed an outfit for the screening of the movie that Dave composed the score for. We were told we had to dress up. There would be press, and pictures and la-di-da.

What a gorgeous day it was. Hot though. Hankering a teeny tiny bit for Fall these days.

So this is what I bought. It’s very J-Lo no? Maybe Aladdin? I am hoping for Aladdin because I like him better than J-Lo. With a nice sweater and a pair of heels and some cute hair? Oh yeah!

RIGHT after the mall we rushed home and cooked a giant dinner and then barely took the time to taste it as we had to make the drive-in. We were going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2. Fin. The end. The build up to the end of this movie was killing me. I don’t want it to be over.

We had just had a storm. And it did nothing to take away the humidity. Nice night to sit in your car and watch a movie with the windows rolled down right?? I am sweating thinking about it.

The Promised land!

Pretty sky behind us.

I wore my pjs. It would be killer to wear actual clothing when it is that hot and you are sitting in a car all night with no air conditioning. LOOK AT THE STUPID TAN I HAVE ON MY FEET. I never get a sexy tan. Just a stupid one.

Did I poop into some Tupperware? No, we made brownies on a time budget. So they fell apart when I threw them in here, but they still tasted just as good! We hoovered these into oblivion.

Oh and what is this by my foot? Could that be some food paraphernalia? There were signs everywhere advising us that no outside food or food paraphernalia (???????) would be allowed into the drive-in. Like they check, come on. It was all 15-year-old kids running the show there that night anyway. I think we should be more concerned about their paraphernalia.

So frigging good. I promised myself that I wouldn’t eat the entire thing. That lasted for about 3 minutes. Anyone else get bloated when they eat a lot of popcorn? Yeah….me neither….

Hoovered. I wasn’t lying.

And that concludes this episode of the Weekend Crazies: Part 1. Tune in tomorrow (or something like that. Best friend is visiting tonight, going to be a shit show), same bat time, same bat channel.

Happy Friday everyone!

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The Doctor is in.

Patrick — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 19:51:37 +0000

The doctor says, if’n you ain’t got yourself one of those fancy Chinese fans to keep cool, stay outta the outdoors today. Ancient Chinese proverb. For realsies.

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Ace of Chase

Patrick — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 22:23:47 +0000

Until a few weeks ago, I didn’t even know that the Mitsubishi City Chase even existed. Apparently, though, it’s a pretty popular event.

Ryan Coelho graciously invited Sarah and me to both the training session and the subsequent race…erm…chase, and since neither of us had even heard or it, let alone attended, we weren’t quite sure what to expect.

Well, the training session belied the true size of the event … about 1500 attendees on the day from my guesstimate. I’m sure Ryan knows the true number, but whatever that is, it managed to fill Yonge-Dundas Square to near capacity, then blocked Yonge Street as the initial wave of people made their way to the first chase point.

So what is City Chase?

Well, it’s a little bit like The Amazing Race mixed with a lighter version of Fear Factor, and a 4 to 6 hour marathon mixed in for good measure. Participants are given clue sheets which indicate the locations of some 40-odd locations scattered around the city, a quarter of which must be completed before you can collapse. Pretty much everyone starts out traveling together but the herd tends to thin out pretty quickly as problem solving, strategy, and just plain old speed weed people out.

When I say “around the city”, I mean “well around the city”. All participants get a transit day pass which really comes in handy. I was on my bike and managed to hit about 6 chase points (the locations of various challenges to be completed). I honestly have no idea how the winners made it all the way through the event, let alone in the time that they managed to do it.

Many of the chase points require you to work in teams, often requiring one person to work as the spotter, and the other to be the patsy. The organizers also recommend that you bring things like a towel, possibly a change of clothes, and a variety of other items you may not imagine needing. But honestly, when they say be prepared for anything, they’re being totally serious.

The leveling factor of the Chase is the fact that it requires both brains and brawn. Sure, you can be a fast runner or be able to lift herculean weights, but if you can’t figure out the clues on the sheet, you’ll never make it to the locations and your chances of winning are slim.

City Chase allows, encourages even, participants to use smartphones to find the chase points using Google Maps or even to call friends at home who can look stuff up for you — the map that’s provided should be considered a bare-bones minimum! You are not, however, allowed to use any means of transport other than public transit and your own feet.

Thing is, there isn’t much at stake except for glory and recognition, so the honour system works pretty well.

Yes, people who finish with good times do get small prizes, but ultimately the whole thing is for charity (Right to Play), so cheating wouldn’t really get you much except disapproving frowns. Really, you’re just cheating yourself.

Top fund raisers can also compete in the all-Canada Championships, and the city event is the precursor to the Columbia Enduro-Chase which is like City Chase on steroids.

The next City Chase event in Toronto is being held on August 13 and if the last one is any indication, the upcoming one should be a load of fun. And when it’s all done, there’s beer at the Hard Rock cafe across from the square. If there’s a negative here, I don’t see it!

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Recovering

Katherine — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 20:50:15 +0000

Dave and I went to a house party on Friday night for my friend Di’s 29th birthday. It has taken me this long to recover. Good god.

A few amazing photos to begin the night. Dave ignoring me, playing his freaking Death Smiles game while I try to get his attention. This has been my life for the past week. Repeating everything I say because he is so sucked into his game. Good thing I understand these things, or I might have to throw stuff at him.

That’s my toe. Just in case you were wondering.

Oh look! The monster has come around.

Oh my god we are so stupid.

Ready to go. I haven’t been to a house party in years. I usually try to avoid them on account of most of them being super awkward, but knowing Di, it won’t be boring at all. It will be the opposite of boring, if you catch my drift.

I must have been hungry if I took a picture of a thai restaurant I have never even been to.

The birthday girl! Look how happy I am to be celebrating her birthday with her! I wasn’t even drunk at this point. Should have kept it that way. Ugh.

Haha. Nice. Wake up my love, the party is just starting. This is our gradual decline into old age. We need to take a little nap before the real party starts.

Love her hair. It looks red in this photo but it is actually hot pink.

Love these ladies.

So apparently you can download an app where you can vote for which songs you want to hear while you are at a party. Everyone with an iPod signs in and it grabs their playlists, and then you can choose or vote for which song you want to hear next. Pretty neat. iPod wars. Fun times. I bet everyone already knew about this, which makes me seem old. GAH! I am turning into the old people I used to roll my eyes at when I was a teenager!

Someone toilet papered everything they could in the bathroom. Which meant that no one could wash their hands after taking a leak. That’s living on the edge man.

Is it ten years ago? What’s your myspace?

This is where I get the drunkest I have been in a loooooong time. I don’t really drink that much anymore, well, not like this anyway. Too old man. The hangover lasts two days. This is what I have been dealing with this weekend. Recovering. Because after this shot, things got messy. Tequila really does.

Yeah, exactly.

Looking at this picture makes me want to throw up. Again.

See? Messy. Thank god I didn’t make an idiot of myself. I only got sloppy after we left, on the walk home. I didn’t feel that drunk at the party. But I wasn’t. It was the three tequila shots that came one after the other right before we left that did me in. I even tried to hide from the boys who were handing them out, but I got roped back in. Ugh. Lesson learned. Dave, you are an angel.

Last picture before we peaced out. Happy birthday Dianeeee!

Breaking Bad tonight. My anxiety over this is extreme!! For those who watch, enjoy!! For those who don’t, you are missing out!!

Later!

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Motivation Deprivation

Katherine — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 21:45:58 +0000

So when I started this ‘getting fit journey’ of mine, I weighed 158 pounds and now I am 143. I say that so nonchalantly (believe me when I say that) because I am not concerned about my weight. I am concerned about being fit and feeling strong and healthy. And I do. Yet like any journey in life, there are bumps in the road. I am facing a big one called motivation.

Look at the cats. Lazy assholes. Or maybe they are my fat cheerleaders? Keep reading, they come back into this blog post at the end. Scene stealers.

Making sure I am all stretched out. By the way, want to know who motivated me to start this whole thing? Raymi the Minx, that’s who. Girl is FIT. And I thought to myself “damn she is hot…I could try that”. Only my work out post is ghetto and not pretty and hers are gorgeous and she looks gorgeous. I just look sweaty. Thanks for the motivation mang!

Having said that, motivation is waning. I feel stronger, I can barrel up hills without wanting to die, yet still, I have plateaued in my feeling strong feelings. So I upped my workout level and I have been doing it for a while and I still feel like I can’t do it. I can’t conquer the exercises. They make me feel weak. Like how I matched my weights to my yoga mat? Yeah me too.

BUT…I would rather lay down and die than give up. Logically I understand that giving up will only perpetuate my weak feelings because I will actually get weaker. See the logic there? And I have worked too hard to get this far.

Walk out push ups. Ugh.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t think about cramming an entire cheesecake into my mouth EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. I stare longingly at desserts as if they are a drink of water in the hottest desert.

Look! I died!

SASSY SWEAT MONSTER!

Dave sent me this picture yesterday when I was at work. The orange cat, Pandorah, is a fat lazy slob. She sleeps upstairs in the boiling bedroom all day, and every once in a while she will scream for us to come up there to pet her. To put her back to sleep, if you will. Because she deserves it for all the hard work she does around here.

Look at her! She FELL ASLEEP on top of the other cat. I picture her roiling down the stairs like molten metal, like the T-1000 in Terminator 2, only to attach herself to the first warm thing her fleshy body could find.

Honestly.

Company picnic tomorrow. Can’t wait for THAT one.

Goodnight!

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Let’s vote him out.

SarahD — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 23:46:57 +0000

Today TORONTO’s Mayor Rob Ford voted against MANY community grants needed and necessary for them to run and to do business in this multi-cultural city.

You know what I think and believe but please read. I wish i had video but really, who needs to see how huge he is, really.

http://www.thestar.com/news/article/1023558–ford-votes-against-every-community-grant-program?bn=1#.ThzVM-aeK_d.facebook

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Birthday Man

Katherine — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 15:49:48 +0000

When do boys become men? After 30? 40? Look at this guy. 29…still a baby…

The morning of Dave’s birthday and he didn’t have to work. But because he is the sweetest person on the planet, he got up early (well, sort of) with me to walk me to work. What a shit-eating grin huh?

It was another perfect Summer day.

Happy birthday love of my life.

Like an asshole, I forced him to sit on the grass to remember what it was like to be a little kid. You know, because he is so far removed.

And then we were fascinated by this. Man-made things growing out of trees are always fascinating.

Toronto is so green right now.

TRRRRAAAAAAIIIINNNNNN!

I took Dave out for a fancy feast. HA! He is showing me a cryptic message that his brother (HI STEVE! Or…HELLO STEVE!) sent him of the gift he was giving him. What the eff could it be?

God this was sweet. Italians and their lemon-y sweet drinks. It was good!!

Yum. Bruschetta made right. If you are ever in Toronto (or live here) Vesuzio’s over on the West end is delicious.

Cannelloni. My god it was good. This is one of those places where you venture to try new things and everything that you try is delicious. Love places like that.

I had the penne a la vodka. Another hit. It had prosciutto in it…how can you go wrong?

Told Dave to sit on this wagon thing. I wanted him to feel kin to something that was also as old as dirt.

Me on the other hand, I never age. Sigh.

The neighborhood we live in is called the Junction. Because of the trains and the history (which is actually kind of cool if you are interested). They like to include all these cutesy little trains all over the place. How cutesy.

Awww.

Poor Dave. He is looking ahead into his 30s and seeing more of ME ME ME!!! You can’t get away from me hahahahah!

Too psycho?

And then I hid something in the fridge for him. I hid it when he was sitting in the kitchen with me, having a conversation with me. Pffff….men.

And he found it!! And look! The inside of my fridge! Isn’t everyone interested in that kind of thing? Water, all the stuff to make S’mores, cream, rice milk, bowl of the cat’s cooked food, 3 pounds of ground chicken to make them a new round of food, strawberries and a sweet potato. Wasn’t that exhilarating?

Ghetto.

Good.

Happy birthday Dave. Lerve you!

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Pride: après le travail, le fun!

Patrick — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 18:30:41 +0000

After spending the afternoon sweating it up in our non-A/C’ed apartment, Sarah and I decided to skip the Pride parade. I didn’t shed any tears … I’d gone with tripod and sweaty brow in previous years and just didn’t feel like fighting the inevitable crush up Yonge Street.

Besides, the party on Church Street which, around Wellesley, is basically gay/lesbian-central in Toronto, is really the main event. Oh sure, you can enjoy your fill of assless-chaps along the parade route, but it’s really the after-parade party where the thing really gets going.

I know some people are really uncomfortable with nudity, but letting it all hang out just makes so much sense in the heat.

Much to the consternation of the vociferous anti-Pride people gracing the pages of the Toronto Sun today, I wasn’t able to find any gay recruitment centres, the presence of Satan come to reclaim his minions, or even any public fornication. Just fun, dancing, and a good time.

The reported Ford bashing and incensed, raging infernos of Rob’s effigy also weren’t anywhere in sight. In fact, I found most people who had something to say about Toronto’s half-mayor did so with cheerful aplomb.

Sarah and I eventually wound our way to Fuzion, a restaurant/bar that’s about as a Church-Wellesley as you can get, and where Sarah’s extensive network of friends once again surprised me as we were personally greeted at the front door by the owner. The atmosphere was great … the thumping house tunes took me back, the drinks went down easy, and even the “I’m just here to support my gay friends” crowd seemed to be having a good time.

We sampled some sloppy street food with strikingly homosexual overtones on the way home. Good ending to a great night out, and absurdly apropos.

Yeah, I suppose Pride might not be the march for rights and equality it once was, and yeah, it’s not as kid-friendly as the Santa Claus Parade. But if you ask me, the thing to do is get a babysitter for the night, take that rod out of your behind, and pretend like you’re capable of having a good night out. Cuz chances are pretty good that you’ll still be attracted to the same sex you were when the evening started, and you might even have had some fun.

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What a Life

Katherine — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 01:50:39 +0000

And WHAT HAVE WE HERE? No, it’s not a pube, as I am sure all you pervs thought it was. It’s a freaking grey hair! This guy has been living in my bangs for the past year, and I didn’t really mind all that much. You could really only see it when it sliced through your eyeball, blinding you in the sun. But recently, in lieu of certain events, he has made himself known even more. So I killed him. And it was glorious.

Farewell shiny grey man. I won’t miss you. And your friends are not invited to the party. Ever.

This weekend I chose to be lazy. It was supposed to be a cleaning-till-it-sparkles-grocery-shop-mania-work-out-sweat-die weekend. And it was, it was. Just not all spread out like a normal person would do it. Saturday came and went and 8PM hit and I somehow found my energy and we cleaned like maniacs. I worked out like a maniac. I showered like a maniac.

We saved the grocery shopping until Sunday. And then we did that like maniacs too.

So lets talk about today, in all it’s boring gloriousness. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The animals needed to be cooked for. And I was a good animal lover and I cooked them up a big batch of their favourite; ground chicken and sweet potatoes! This has been on the menu for my little guys for the past few years now. They love it.

Oh hey there jerk-offs. I love how you lay around on the table (WHICH IS NOT ALLOWED) while I cook up a storm for you. I feel like they don’t need individual names anymore. Their collective name is GET OFF THE TABLE.

While I am here, I might as well prepare our dinner for tomorrow. Let that sit overnight and get some flava flav!

Assholes food is almost done.

I also cut up a shitload of strawberries. We have taken to eating them on our walk to work. They are awesome when it’s boiling and all you want is a drink of water and then voila! Your Amazingness pulls a giant tub of strawberries out of her bag!

They never fail to impress.

Ok chicken is cooked. Time to drain all the fat. We almost lost one of our guys to liver disease a couple of years ago. But with a home cooked diet, many needles given by yours truly, and forcing food down her throat, we were able to save her. We were told that it was dry food, the fact that she is a timid cat, and the fact that she is fat all added to her getting liver disease. We have cooked this for them ever since.

Look at all that nastiness.

Sweet potatoes need to be steamed and then it’s good to go.

Oh speaking of the fat kitty…there she is. Perfectly healthy now, albeit still a little bit chunky. It’s ok, I like the big girls. I threaten to throw her fat thigh on the barbecue and munch on it when I say that. Then she scratches my face off. HOLY SENSITIVE.

After I did the work of ten in the kitchen, I figured it was time for some ‘me time’. Video games and beer, here I come.

Yes please and thank you.

Don’t mind if I do!

More comfy on the floor. Where I am used to playing video games. I don’t last as long as I did when I was 8-years-old on account of being old, but I still have more fun this way.

HAHA! VIDEO GAME FACE!

Oh right, back to this boring crap. Can you tell I have NO material for my blog today? Just wondering.

Squish, smoosh. Can’t they do this part themselves? God.

The final result. This will feed the three of them for a few days. Pigs.

Vultures.

They have to be separated with their backs to each other. Otherwise war is declared.

Time for outside time!

Need to stretch.

Nice face.

Seriously though, where can I stretch?

Here is great.

Uh yeah it kind of hurt.

Model face stretch pose.

Barf.

Cook me up a burger bitch!

Oh the faces that happen to me.

Full, time to sleep.

GOOD MORNING!

Ok get that camera out of my face!

I hope you all enjoyed my ‘I got nothing’ blog post on this fine evening.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

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This is What We Have Been Doing For Days

Katherine — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 17:50:53 +0000

And I present to you, the patio set we bought from IKEA. What a fucking joke to get this thing. Not IKEA’s fault (they can do no wrong), but more like Wal-Mart’s fault.

Story goes like this: make the long trek to Wal-Mart on Saturday to check out patio sets. Find one we like, make sure to ask an asshole associate if there will be any left early Sunday, which is when we rented a car. Get told that won’t be a problem. Get looked at like you are a piece of crap from the guy in the garden center when you ask if they have any left early Sunday. Find out that they are all sold out. Man.

Peace out of Wal-Mart (where they forgot to hand us some hooks we bought while we are struggling to carry a barbecue, therefore we spent money and got nothing in return, jerk offs), and run to Canadian Tire and everywhere else you can think of that sells patio sets. Patio sets are ridiculous, so decide on IKEA. Where we hit the jackpot. Of course we did. No clue why we didn’t go here first, as we ALWAYS go there first.

Cute no? The cushions were almost as expensive as the patio set. Sigh.

Do you have ANY idea how hard it was to put this piece of shit together? I love it and it’s mine, so I can call it a piece of shit. It’s a freaking portable camping barbecue, what’s the problem? Oh right, the instructions were written in a made up language that only ants can understand. It was hot out, it took us all afternoon to put this guy together. Well, I mostly put it together while Dave ‘assisted’. And I only screwed up one nail.

But this is the wonderful outcome. Sitting outside every night after work enjoying some type of girly drink or another.

Oh heeeey! My sister called. Hi Krista! Guess what I am doing?

I am the barbecue goddess. Roles are reversed in this household.

And it’s supposed to rain for three days. What am I going to do after work now? I can’t drink a girly drink indoors. That is WAY to embarrassing!

Do you enjoy every last bit of Summer?

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ONE of my dream jobs…

SarahD — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 14:58:38 +0000

…CONTRIBUTING TO + EDITING THIS SITE!!!

All of my life I wanted to write, be a journalist, and eventually work/make an impact on the lives of children around the world. Thus far, I have gotten the chance to dip my toe into a world that helps families in several countries in Africa thanks to my efforts with Engineers Without Borders Canada (www.ewb.ca), went to school (till I got too ill) at my DREAM university (UofT), and kept writing whenever I could. Mostly I wrote little love stories and/or wishes (?) but here I find myself being Active Editor of this wicked site about where I am from. Pretty freakin’ COOL!!!

Now, after healing up some, I am making a fresh start right here thanks to my best friend and boyfriend Patrick, the owner of TCL and so far… So far I have had an interesting time on the job! Met some neat people too…

Also, I have made a best friend in his kitty cat Oliver, my ‘other’ boyfriend… : D They both have reminded me that just because things get tough that doesn’t mean it’s ‘over’. Thank goodness for my two favourite boys!

This job has allowed me to put forth ideas and just talk about what matters most to me and so many people I know. I intended to go off and become a human rights worker IN THE TRENCHES but my time is not up — maybe there will come a CURE FOR MS and you will find me in the middle of a conflict zone one day! You never know, right????? Damn right, lol. A girl can dream after all…

Anyhow, I just want to say ‘THANK YOU’ to all of the new+old readers and please keep on reading and participating. We have more to come! With more ways to reach out, to participate, post new pics, rant about whatever floats your boat, and just have a laugh or a smile, things should get MORE interesting!

Challenge us, message us, and we just might be wherever you are. : D

THANKS AGAIN!!

Peace out,

Love, SarahD

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WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER…

SarahD — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 15:28:38 +0000

Winner winner of the St. Louis chicken dinner!

We wish we had many other gift certificates to give out but, alas, we have only 1 pair this time. I hope to score more prizes in the future!! )Woud be nice, hey?….)

We think think so, but until then we have a WINNER!!

Miss Laura! Pls email us at Patrick@torontocitylife.com with your contact info and email address so we can make this contest complete!

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUBMISSIONS AND FOR ENTERING THIS RANDOM CONTEST!

I sure hope for more so STAY TUNED!!

Dear Jeff,

I hate to turn you down but unfortunately you are the runner up this time around. Please feel free to enter once again in the future should we post more contests (I have one under my sleeve!)

<3 SarahD

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This weekend, some random things are going to appear in this city…

SarahD — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 21:32:30 +0000

I love random things and I love taking pictures of random things, things that some people call ‘ART’. Join me here and we can play a game of ‘Where’s Waldo”!

Calling all #Toronto culture vultures! Don’t forget LUMINATO 2011

starts this weekend! with tons of free exhibits! www.luminato.com/2011

Me and my girl will be somewhere in the city. Feel free to find us! ;)

See you there! Stay tuned…

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a day in the life…

SarahD — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 18:06:13 +0000

Lately, I MUST admit I am a lucky gal, luckier than most. I have a solid bf, a loving and affectionate kitty cat, and a bag of pretzels at my side for my salt cravings…
Ok, that is that. I am INCREDIBLY tired lately. Have you other gals ever felt super sluggish and down because of it? The heat might be a factor, but… everything seems to be ‘feeling’ wrong in terms of my body. :( AND I have to take yet another needle today, tomorrow, and always.

I take great joy in the fact that my amazing guy will return later and we will hopefully have dinner together. :D

And YES, I am STILL at home. More mobile than 3 days ago but still at home… like a patient without patience.

Stay tuned cuz hopefully I’ll be walking around this city and dining out and sharing THAT with you instead of my moping.

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“The only thing missing from this park experience is WHISKEY!”

Katherine — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 18:50:43 +0000

The heat yesterday was making us cranky. I didn’t turn the air conditioner on until pretty late in the day, but by then, the cranky damage was done. Dave isn’t actually yelling at me in this picture, but I can tell you that I was ACTUALLY annoyed with him. You know when you are snapping at each other and then pretending it’s all a joke when really deep down you want to rip each other’s heads off? Yeah. That was me us.

So we decided that a walk for ice cream would cure all of our woes. Well, Dave’s woes anyway. I did not partake on account of the pansy ass lactose problem I have. Screw you evolution! I mean, I can’t help it if I am ahead of everyone else can I?

Awesome # 1

Awesome # 2

Who’s that frump master 3000? Why…it’s me!! I love the heat, I do, but I don’t love how it can make you look like a deflated monkey five seconds after you shower. Not that any showering took place on this day, no sir. Too lazy. Paying for it today though, my hair is a rat’s nest.

Happy now that he has ice cream. I mean really? Who can be annoyed when you have cotton candy ice cream? No one, that’s who. Let’s all remember that I did not have any cotton freaking candy ice cream.

I make my own happiness. With stupid faces.

Destination station. Park! Only there are no swings. Swings are what I live for. Funny, but a friend of mine was telling her boyfriend yesterday about my severe love of swings. It’s true. Even though I am old now and they make me want to puke, I’LL TAKE THAT CHANCE.

How come I had to go to a shitty, brown, cheaply made school my whole life? Schools in Toronto are something else I tell you.

There is a SWEATER in my bag. Because even though it’s hot enough to fry anything on the sidewalk, never mind an egg, I still made sure to bring my sweater. A grandma before my time. I am ok with this.

So excited to go down the slide.

Such a child.

Surprised at how fast I went. Isn’t that a little dangerous?, asks Grandma Kato.

Love the blue skies we have been getting these days. Honestly, how can anyone be in a bad mood when you have this to look at?

How can anyone be in a bad mood when they have THIS to look at?

Ha! Caught Dave being all neighborly, saying hello to folks.

Oh my god! It’s a park! A park with…

SWINGS!

“The only thing missing from this park adventure is WHISKEY!”. Because THAT wouldn’t make me ralph or anything.

Dave writes: This marker is dead Thank you Dave.

These do not work for people of the adult persuasion.

Why am I always a boy? Why do I feel the need to get violent and try to throw people off of things? I don’t know. Just how I was raised.

See? A little walk and playing in a park does wonders for when your boyfriend annoys you heat aggression. We love each other again! Yay! Just kidding guys, we always love each other *eye roll* Look how much Dave wants me to touch him!

Enjoy your Monday folks! It is beautiful here!

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MDG’S + if they still matter.

SarahD — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 18:52:46 +0000

Are you familiar with the 8 #Millennium #Development #Goals (#MDG)?? http://bit.ly/ceWCnH

A few years ago I worked on a video for my UofT group (EWB – UofT/ ewb.ca) regarding our government’s commitment to international aid + MDGs. If I can get my hands on that video, I’ll post it because the responses to our questions were so thrilling and yet the reality if that we as a country, province and a city made me sad.

Questions were asked regarding: Do we need to keep promises made from the past? is 0.07% of our GDP too much or impossible to donate to the international money pot? If other smaller countries are able to keep the commitment, why do you think we have not EVER kept ours?

Despite our promise made to the UN back in 1969 we STILL HAVE NOT KEPT OUR WORD, EVER. Now, you can say I am biased but Pearson thought it was worth thinking about and i think we should do the same.

If you’d like to make a difference I suggest you check out this site: www.makepovertyhistory.ca and ewb.ca

TOGETHER we can make change happen, and Toronto being the most populated city in Canada who donate 40+% of the Canada’s GDP, I think we can definitely MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN. Together we can…

The reason for this post is PM Harper keeps making speech after speech about the economy et al. and NOT addressing our commitment to the world as a whole. Be a global citizen and take an interest one way or another.

thanks for reading and please discuss, comment, and surprise me if u like ;)

Your gal, SarahD

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Fairweather flâneur, part 1

Patrick — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 16:50:12 +0000

There are only so many ways to say “walking around aimlessly on a sunny weekend”…

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I Am Happy. Blissful Even.

Katherine — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:50:12 +0000

It really has been a gorgeous couple of days here in sweaty Toronto. Just how I like it. I used to be one of ‘those people’ who complained about the weather ALL the time. And then I met Dave, Mr. Never Complains, and I stopped. I mean really? How annoying is it to state how hot or cold you are 50 times a day? Everyone else is too, so just deal with it. I used to hate it when people would come into the coffee shop where I used to work, it would be 40C outside and the air conditioning would be broken and they would exclaim, “Boy is it ever hot in here!”. I KNOW! Try working behind this counter for 5 minutes!

So no more. I love all kinds of weather. At least I don’t complain about it. Can’t change it right?

This photo was taken on Monday, my first day back to work after my sick-ation.

This is EXACTLY how I felt about it all.

But! Monday night more than made up for it. We went to Ikea. Sigh. I have a love/ hate relationship going on for that place. Also, it was really late and we had to run around like crazy people to buy what we wanted and there was no time to eat and by the time we got home, well you know….so we ate fast food. Burger King to be exact. I can’t remember the last time I ate fast food, or Burger King for that matter. Eating it just solidified my opinion that it is just not worth it. It doesn’t taste good to me anymore, and the unhealthiness of it all grosses me out. But hey! That’s just me folks! You love it, you eat it! Enjoy!

Some extra throw pillows and an ottoman were what we had our eyes on. We were still using our old coffee table and it was way too big and didn’t really match the colour scheme we were going for.

This is the before:

And the after:

Much nicer, no? Of course this bitch turned it into her hairy lair the second it was in place.

Oh look! Now it’s Tuesday! I am wearing that camera necklace I just bought and it took a picture of you, taking a picture of me. It didn’t really, but the flash is cool.

This is what I have to deal with in the mornings. I am all, “Ok, we have to go”. And Dave says, “I am coming now”, when really he is just standing up and playing. I mean, it’s cool, but I caught you RED-HANDED not actually making an effort to hurry.

It was hot. Not complaining. Just sayin’. Freezies make it all better. Especially a blue one!

There is a long alleyway we sometimes walk down on the way home from work. It has amazing street art on everything. It is a residential alleyway, so it contains garages and sheds and fences to people’s backyards, so it’s awesome that the folks who live here don’t mind it and in fact, seem to encourage it.

Gorgeous. This weather makes me blissfully happy.

Hey guys, is my tongue blue?

Toronto streets at this time of day, at this time of year equals perfect.

That’s a nice picture there. I hope that wherever you are, you are having lovely, calm weather, and that you are enjoying it!

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Doctors CAN actually be good :D

SarahD — Tue, 31 May 2011 16:29:11 +0000

On Sunday I reticently took myself to a new walk-in clinic (new to me, at least) and I was taken aback by something: people are really not the same and they can be really great!
Fancy that!!
It’s been a tough month or two (if u read my blog) and my experience at the clinic that day changed my perception of doctors and admin period.

So nice, so helpful, so…awesome.

I knew my boyfriend was someone extra-special from our first conversation (i asked him for the time and now months later we are stupid stupid happy and together =D) and he takes such great care of me that I thought no one could ever compare. Then i walked into The Albany Clinic and found out different, lol.

They rock and I love ‘em so back off, j/k, but if you are in need of a new doc this is the place to go. I went to the walk-in but they all do rounds in the facility at large so come on down! : D

with lots of love and anti-inflammatory meds,

your gal Sarah…

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Gloomy day muzac

Patrick — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:00:53 +0000

Here’s what I like to plug my ears with on my way to work. They’re also a great idea for days like, well, all this week — rain, rain, and rainy. They are all Toronto (at least produced here) but, ironically, hardly contain any music at all.

Spark with Nora Young: http://www.cbc.ca/spark/

This one’s easy to get sucked into. It’s about modern digital technology — but rather than talk about tech as the topic, Spark discusses how it relates to humanity, the environment, and all that kinda stuff. The social implications of technology, in other words. Nora also manages to squeeze out another podcast every week or so. Oh, and all this month Spark is interweaving topics with another famous local, Marshall McLuhan.

Dispatches with Rick MacInnes-Rae: http://www.cbc.ca/dispatches/

I used to listen to this show on my lengthy drives home before I ever knew it was a podcast. Unfortunately, the show is produced only once a week but CBC makes up for it by packing in all sorts of interesting features. The topics are global but most of the reporters local-ish so I find it easier to connect with the stories.

Ideas with Paul Kennedy: http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/

Yeah, this podcast is as vague as the title implies. The show, however, covers a wide enough range of topics in a truly informative way, and regularly enough, that it’s worth a listen even if the topic of the day doesn’t necessarily strike your fancy.

Manthropology with Pedro Mendes: http://www.cbc.ca/podcasting/pastpodcasts.html?92#ref92

I was sad to learn that a couple of weeks ago this podcast — about what it means to be a man in the 21st century — came to an end. While it’s still available for download, it’s unlikely to be so for long so grab those MP3s now!

Quirks and Quarks with Bob MacDonald: http://www.cbc.ca/quirks/

Toronto’s answer to another fave podcast of mine has been around since I don’t even know when. I always get Bob MacDonald and Jay Ingram mixed up, perhaps because they both sound very similar, or maybe because they’re both kinda short and swarthy, or it could be because they both host popular science shows. Bob, however, strikes me as having more of a sciency background and that makes him eminently more qualified to discuss the topics of the day. Even better is the fact that, as more and more cutting-edge tech comes out of Canada, podcasts like Q&Q are among the first to do on-the-spot, in-depth interviews with the scientists involved.

Search Engine with Jesse Brown: http://www.tvo.org/cfmx/tvoorg/searchengine/index.cfm?page_id=613&blog_id=485&action=blog

Jesse used to do this internet-news-and-social-implications podcast for, I believe, CBC, and then moved it over to TVO. Thankfully, neither the topics, nor the format, or even the name have changed. Plus, this is one of the few podcasts released under a Creative Commons license — props, Jesse!

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Sh*t Son, That Was Fun: 1

Katherine — Wed, 04 May 2011 16:50:22 +0000

Another busy weekend. Went downtown with my friend Naz and afterwards travelled to John’s hood for some wine and good times. Always good times with that guy.

Weekend started with some pictures in the kitchen. It’s the brightest room in the house. This is great in the Winter when we get about 12 minutes of sunshine a week, but in the Summer it’s brutal. The blinds stay closed all Summer. Right. I am remembering how effing hot it gets in there.

Did my nails again. Look at these bitch nails. Seriously, Raymi the Minx has turned me into a monster. She always gets her nails done all beautiful and it inspires me to do my own all shit-like compared to hers. At least I am making an effort. No longer am I a disgusting boy! I actually shower sometimes a lot more these days! Are you proud of me? Also, you should check Raymi out. I PROMISE you, you will not be disappointed. She is like crack. And while I am plugging people, you need to check out Toronto City Life. Awesome guy, awesome blog. And yours truly is a syndicated contributor over there!

Sorry Beethoven, my nails need a little air time and your head looks as good as any.

So this is my new bag. I was hankering for an expensive one. See? Turning into a pure girl over here. I thought about this purchase for a LONG time because it was expensive. I was going to go for a brand name guy, but at the last minute went to my fast-becoming favourite shop Fresh, and saw this one of a kind Moira Coughlan dumpling bag. At first I was like FUUUUUCK that’s a lot of money for a bag (c’mon it wasn’t THAT bad), but damn I love it more than life. I would save it in a fire if it meant I would burn myself.

Dave had some guys over to watch the fight. He is on the phone planning out his little date here. The picture below is hilarious because he was telling me that this guy was coming over who was a little wild and crazy (an actor, they all are), and that they were going to crush cans on their foreheads and drop pizza all over the carpet. My face says it all.

Guys, meet my friend Naz. GODDAMN she is beautiful. For a few years we were mostly work friends, but recently we went out for coffee. Like, on a weekend. We took it to the next level you could say. A sexy, going-out-for-coffee-level.

Oh hey look! It’s John! How’s it going my love? Yes, we can stop at Starbucks and you can get 124 shots of espresso. Not sure how you are still alive after that one.

It was sunny! I was happy!

Look at that sexy bag.

Super rich people Starbucks. I looked like a death slob compared to everyone else in that place.

We stopped at John’s parents house for an old photo album so we could laugh at our dumb early university selves. John’s parents’ basement is like a plethora of awesome things. There are literally amazing things everywhere you look. I want to spend a day down there and skip through the treasures and play with everything.

Every time I go to John’s house I am like FULL LENGTH MIRROR! We don’t have one so it’s always a surprise to see my body after so long. So THAT’S what you look like legs!

One of my favourite pictures of all time. John has good taste.

Oh hey there Joh…STICKS IN THINGS!! I have a bit of an obsession with sticks. Like, IN THINGS.

Love.

Where we sat for the majority of the evening. In my old age, I suddenly have vertigo when I go out onto balconies. I have a strange urge to throw myself off of it and get it over with. Not because I have a death wish, but because I am terrified that I am going to fall anyway, so why not end the terror?

Bean! Remember when she was pregnant? She gave birth to three of the sweetest kittens ever!! She really wanted out there with us, but yeah right.

I asked John to take a picture of me out there on the balcony. I had my arms raised and he told me I had pit stains. Only I DON’T! Ass.

This is my ‘fuck you John’ face.

Better. Ass.

Had a few at this point. Maybe.

Laugh. It does a body REALLY good.

Part two, coming right up!

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Rainy Monday Photo Dump

Katherine — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 22:50:48 +0000

Woke up super late today, as usual. Man, it’s a good thing I have a job where I can (sort of) go in whenever. As long as I work my 8, you know? I think they just turn a blind eye to it, and thank goodness they do, or else I would be a bum!

So Easter weekend. Dave and I went up to his mom’s for dinner on Friday. We rented a car and I am so glad we did. I am coming to the conclusion that I can’t do the weekend stay over thing anymore at my parent’s. Love them immensely, I just can’t do it. We need a car of our own. This is what I have been thinking about these days.

I passed out in the car on the way home. I didn’t even have any turkey. I was just exhausted. I woke up that morning and did a day’s worth of work before Dave even pulled himself out of bed. Felt good, but as we were leaving Dave’s mom’s, it started snaining (raining and snowing!), and the combo of the car and the snain knocked me out. Sorry Dave. At least you got to listen to Frank Black the whole way home without me making faces right?

Then we had to get home from where the Zipcar was, and I decided to go out into the world like this. I am my grandmother, through and through.

Saturday morning was nice. My parents (my entire family really) decided not to do anything for Easter. I okayed this decision whole-heartedly. I needed to chill out. Also, I had to go to the Eaton’s Centre to have my brand new iPhone 4 replaced. I had upgraded 2 days previous and after I got home I realized the camera was broken. So annoyed. So then I had to make an appointment with a Genius, on a Saturday, at a crazy busy mall, after a holiday. Sigh. Anyway, we enjoyed a nice fridge emptier breakfast beforehand: breakfast sausages and feta on toast. MMMM.

Dave did his piano/ theory homework while I made breakfast. He is taking his grade 8 piano and Advanced Rudiments of Music Theory exams in June. He doesn’t feel ready. He will do fine.

After having a relatively painless appointment at the Apple Store where they replaced my dud phone with a brand new one, we went out to eat at the Pickle Barrel. Remind me never to do that again. Ugh. I haven’t been there in a long time, and the food is not so good anymore. I remember when it used to be…or maybe my taste’s have changed. When you order and your food comes in less than five minutes, that says something right there. The pictures are super shitty because the waitress was making me nervous. She saw me taking pictures and she swooped in and frantically asked if everything was okay. Holy…it’s fine. I had a yucky stir fry, Dave had steak. Blah.

I decided to wear a bright yellow sweater to work today, to brighten up my mood. Look at the weird yellow glow in this picture. I am radiating sunshine. I knew the rain was coming, I had a terrible headache all day. No amount of water would make it go away. It was almost a pill popping kind of headache, and I never do that. The less pills I put into this body the better. They make me feel all funny.

The walk home was actually sort of pleasant. Today was one of those warm-ish Spring rainy days I don’t mind so much. You can almost hear the flowers growing.

Someone needs some Vitamin D. And C. And maybe a little B.

This house is crazy. I want to live there. There are some pretty neat houses in the Junction.

And I leave you with a random picture of myself, with a ‘sugar’ skull. Only it’s not made of sugar. Ugh. Okay, I am done.

Happy Monday!

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Sunny Days…

Katherine — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 15:30:23 +0000

In homage to two weekends ago, when Spring was here for a breath of time (it has been snowing/ raining for a week now), Dave and I went on a long walk to one of our favourite places in the city to get ice cream: Bloor West Village.

I knew the day was going to be great when I walked outside of my house and saw that my neighbors had strung a spring themed paper chain across their fence.

I had to have some sustenance before we did all that walking. It is a good solid half hour walk to Bloor West from the Junction, but with the two of us, we make it much longer because we zigzag and take a lot of detours. This is why I like going to Bloor West for ice cream in the Summer. You pretty much walk off all the calories before you even consume them!

Hi I just woke up here. Literally. We passed a church and I oohed and aahed over the grounds and how inviting they looked.

Except they are not. Not unless you are of the God-fearing variety. Look at how sad that makes us.

I love Toronto in the Spring. Winter is so dreary and full of doldrums that I love when Spring shows itself. The streets are clean of slush and muck, and it is still cool enough to not want to strip off all your clothes and walk around looking like a crazy person like in the Summer. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Summer. I love being deathly sweaty and gross looking 24/7.

All the houses on the way to ice cream are gorgeous. I often wonder what people have to do for work to live in a place like the one below. Because here in Toronto a house that size could easily go for $800,000-$1,000,000. Like I will EVER be able to afford something like that.

Sigh. Stairs like that mean you have money. Stems from the old days when rich kings and queens wanted to look down on the commoners. Still means the same thing I am sure. Where can I get me a house that is higher up than everyone else’s?

These kids were adorable. No lemon-aid stand for them, no sir. They played those instruments like it meant the world to them. I love it when kids actually work for their money. Many kids are just handed an allowance and never learn the importance of working for the money. So I had to give them some cash. How else will they buy their tear jerkers and clackers? I totally just aged myself. Don’t click on those links.

Flowers at Bloor West! Yessss! Oooh, I like that girl’s boots!

Instead of ice cream this time around, we went into a DEE-LICIOUS sweets shop called Sweet Flour and we got frozen yogurt instead. Since I am severely lactose intolerant and yogurt is not as hard on a person as milk or cream are, I thought it would be a nice change from ice cream and holding my belly in agony and wanting to curl up into a sweat ball and dying on the side of the road. Oh, and shitting my pants. That too.

Mine! All mine! I am going down in a blaze of chocolate and empty calories! Oh but it was so freaking good. Of course Dave had to get the healthy option. Freaking healthy people who don’t have to work at it. It is like a constant battle in my life not to deep fry everything, or open a candy shop and be my only customer. Sigh.

Accidental picture. Look at how much I am concentrating on getting that spoon into my mouth.

It was so busy on this day it was hard to get a picture without involving a million people’s faces. The first beautiful day and people come out in droves. We are all pale and still too over-dressed, and we walk around in wonder like we have never seen the sun before. It’s great.

Cool door.

Makes me miss Summer. Even though I know it will be so hot I will want to pass out in a lake, and dirty sweat will appear in odd places on my body, seeing the sun in these pictures makes me excited for it.

Let me leave you with a picture from my first Summer here in Toronto. Six years ago almost…wow. This was back when I worked in a coffee shop and my paycheck only covered my rent. I had a little left over and that went towards my beer for the month. At least I had my priorities straight. I miss those days!

I hope that all of you who are experiencing Spring are enjoying it!

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With a view like this…

Patrick — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 04:26:08 +0000

…it hardly feels like work.

Yup, I’m back at it again, this time with Corus Entertainment. These are the people responsible for Q107, AM640, 102.1 “The Edge”, HBO Canada, Nickelodeon Canada, Teletoon, YTV, and a bunch of other media outlets I don’t get with my basic (i.e. free), cable package.

The Corus building sits beside Sugar Beach so the views are pretty terrific in every which direction, but the wind at this time of year can get pretty dastardly in that area. It’s close to St. Lawrence Market so lunchtime promises to be promising, but it’s closed on Mondays, a fact that slapped me in the face like so many icy gusts today. Basically, and despite sounding like the conclusion to a grade 8 essay, it’s a neighbourhood of contrasts.

I’ll be flexing my somewhat atrophied Adobe Flash muscle to produce games that I’ll be bragging about incessantly as soon as they’re online, but in the meantime I’m keen on surreptitiously capturing the square footage of the Corus Building. I mean, I thought I’d worked in some pretty frickin’ cool offices before but this building just blew me away. I spent ten minutes staring at the ceiling in the lobby as I was leaving today — and I wasn’t even high! It’s that far out.

As added benefits, the office is close to home, and I pass by lots of interesting places that necessarily make the twenty-minute commute much longer.

I’m a little disappointed that I had to put aside freelancing for this gig but I noticed that bills tend not to pay themselves. However, so far I’m not getting that vibe of pure, unadulterated evil that I’d experienced in the past. Also, there are plenty of other Toronto jobs available out there for the keen of heart and / or brown of nose, a mild bit of comfort on an otherwise eerie deja vu of a birthday.

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Just shoot me already

Patrick — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 22:50:39 +0000

They’re at it again!

Hollywood North? Bah, this is Toronto, bitches!

In case you can’t make out the notices, the first one is a docu-drama by the NFB (*snore*), directed by Sarah Polley named “The Darkroom”, the second is for Global / ABC’s “Rookie Blue“, and the last one is for some new show from Fox21 / A&E named “Breakout Kings” which seems similar to Prison Break and is not, as I’d hoped, about outrageous acne.

Here’s a smattering of some of the bigger movies shot here:

American Psycho (2000)
The Boondock Saints (1998)
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Cocktail (1998)
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Fantastic Four (2005)
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Jersey Girl (2004)
Johnny Mnemonic (1995)
Kick-Ass (2010)
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
The Love Guru (2008)
Max Payne (2001)
Mean Girls (2004)
Moonstruck (1987)
Owning Mahowny (2003)
Police Academy series
Pushing Tin (1999)
Red (2010)
Repo Men (2010)
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Riding in Cars with Boys (2001)
The Santa Clause (1994)
Saw series
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010)
The Sentinel (2006)
Serendipity (2001)
Shoot Em Up (2007)
The Recruit (2003)
Three Men and a Baby (1987)
Tommy Boy (1995)
True Lies (1994)
X-Men (2000)
Wrong Turn (2003)

As evidenced above, my street alone adds a few titles to the list every year.

While it’s true that as of 2005 Vancouver produced more feature movies, Toronto has the muscle to show those soggy hippies what’s what. Besides, we have the TIFF, we don’t live on a petulant fault line, and we sound a lot less idiotic when we speak French. It’s simply a matter of time.

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This is your brain. This is your brain on a wall. And now it’s well-done.

Patrick — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 17:15:51 +0000

I always loved those commercials. They kind of implied that brains would taste pretty good sopped up with some chunky toasted bread and maybe a hash brown, butter, and bacon (or short pig), on the side. And f-f-f-f-f-f-Fava beans, Clarissssssssssse.

The correlation was, you do drugs, you will get a taste for human flesh. Inevitable, jerkhole.

There’s a really interesting corollary between those anti-drug campaigns, eggs sitting on tops of walls (and subsequently falling off), the falling of the walls themselves (below), the frying of the whole place (further below), and — it seems — a drug-induced stupor at City Hall that allowed the whole thing to happen. And then the egg on their faces. Thus the circle of life is complete.

It was April 16th of last year when the facade came down near Ryerson, just over the Salad King restaurant which everyone suddenly remembered with cherished memories and the inevitable adage, “…but I haven’t been there for a while.”

Recall:

I think Salad King was planning to re-open some time tragically soon — just to pour Thai hot sauce on that open wound. And that’s exactly what it’s been since it came down: just a gaping gash on Gould Street. They threw a big tarp over the rubble on the street, fenced the area off, and that’s how it sat until this week’s fire.

Okay, so I’ve been asking this question for a while now … why has this building been allowed to sit as a wreck for this long? Why cover the frickin’ rubble with a tarp?

Well, apparently the thing was a heritage building and City Hall was mulling over what to do with it. Guess the bricks in the rubble were historic as well, hence the tarp.

But while Councillors were chewing the end-of-term / beginning-of-term cud, getting tours of City Hall, cancelling snacks, etc., the thing was left unattended and this week exploded into a six-alarm blaze — didn’t know there were that many alarms!

Even when I dropped by the next day the thing was still smouldering, apparently having re-erupted earlier that morning. “Normal for a fire of this magnitude”, I was assured.

Some are thinking potentially arson, I’m thinking dangerous exposed building left to the elements. Probably electrical, caused by the recent thaw, and then enjoying a very comfortable stay in the mostly wooden, former Empress Hotel building.

In the meantime, Yonge Street is now closed along with Gould (foot traffic ‘n all), and the open sore is much more so. That can’t go on too long.

My suggestion: get Ryerson University – literally across the street – involved. I mean, let all the investigators finish up, but after that I’m sure there are plenty of classes that could benefit from having to identify historic remains to salvage, perform actual fire forensics investigations, do structural engineering studies, and so on. Maybe George Brown get get itself a piece of that sweet action too. Real-world experience, free work force who get to take those spongy livers outside for some fresh air.

Just don’t let that building go to ruin a third time, you know?

—

The end has come! (part 2)

Patrick — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 18:00:27 +0000

…continued from previous part.

And here we are, the year 2010 summed up in just 5 measly posts. The best of the best, baby! Bust out the caviar.

#5

White Night 2010

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/10/04/white-night-2010/

Nuit Blanche is one of those events that may be getting just a bit too big for its britches. I make it a point never to head out before midnight, and this year even that might’ve been too early.

The exhibits are different every year so I like the fact that I don’t have to wander far. Despite vowing to do so every single time.

The submission process for this year ended in early December, 2010 – some artists are contacted by the curators and commissioned, some can apply for an honorarium, and there are a bunch of open slots available for people who want to do their own thing. This year they might move the application process up on the calendar. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a behemoth!

I think it would make for an interesting documentary to see someone attempt to visit every exhibit during the overnight event. It could be called “Race through the Night” or something, and it could be part tongue-in-cheek and part busted lip. The last time I did the calculations, it should be possible if every exhibit was experienced for roughly 30 seconds. Then quick quick travel.

This is one to toast with a couple of energy drinks.

#4

Bastard Greeks

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/08/09/bastard-greeks/

Not a place for kids. Learned that lesson quick and hard.

Oh, you can bring ‘em, but there ain’t a whole lot for them to do after their second Gyro. I took one of my nephews through a “haunted house”, a claustrophobic 15-second walk pushing your way through an inflated house with an occasional shifty-looking Greek popping out of hidden folds yelling, “Boo!”

Then you’re out and you can’t even imagine a worse way to have blown $3.

For the adults, though, it’s a nice, gut-busting weekend. The prices are often set at sample-level, starting at $3 kinda thing, and a sample is often pretty filling. Most of these are, after all, 90% meat, as required by Greek tradition.

Now that I think of it, you might want to leave your vegetarian friends at home too. I vaguely recall maybe seeing a roasted corn stand but I couldn’t make it out clearly in the haze of barbequing meat.

I’m a bit worried about the intrusion of foreign elements into the Taste; it seems to be losing a bit of its character. Hopefully, though, it’s just a momentary blip.

#3

Pride Parade 2010

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/07/06/pride-parade-2010-part-1/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/07/07/pride-parade-2010-part-2/

Here’s another ballbuster of an event; Caribana and Nuit Blanche run in the same league. Pride, however, seems to happen on the sweatiest day of the summer each year, and I’m sure it’s for good reason too.

There were numerous ass-less chaps and much exposed skin. On the porn meter, I’d put it up there near a tame version of Citytv’s Baby Blues. Still wouldn’t bring younguns to it, but otherwise pretty harmless; ‘cept the heat and the sun and the crowds – yikes.

And in three years (if the city doesn’t bust its seams by then), they’re planning to step it up: WorldPride 2014

To be blunt, if gay people offend you, Toronto might not be the best city to find yourself in. But if you can cope, the rest of the time they just use all their nervous energy to make their Church-Wellesley-area neighbourhood really nice. In the summer, they freak out and throw a parade. Maybe I’m misreading it and it could just a matter of civic pride.

#2

Goodbye summer, we hardly knew ye

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/09/06/goodbye-summer-we-hardly-knew-ye-pt-1/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/09/11/goodbye-summer-we-hardly-knew-ye-pt-2/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/09/20/goodbye-summer-we-hardly-knew-ye-pt-3/

One day you’re watching the snows melt, the next you’re eating deep-fried butter in a desperate attempt to squeeze one last drop out of summer.

The C.N.E. is one of those things that I hope the city never loses. It seems to have the crowds so I’m looking forward to going again many times. And that deep-fried butter – dang, it’s actually really good.

It’s been a rite of passage for how many generations now? You know, The Ex closes and back to school with the lotta ya little buggers! Hahaha!!

I don’t do the rides anymore, though I always urge thrill seekers to most definitely do so. It’s not that they’re thrilling in and of themselves, it’s their age, questionable operators, and lingering memories of past accidents that make them truly scary.

I remember there being more animals at the Exhibition but maybe I’m getting it confused with the Royal Winter Fair. Ah, the damn place is just so filled with memories!

#1

Weekend of weekends

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/07/15/weekend-of-weekends-part-5/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/07/09/weekend-of-weekends-part-4/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/07/02/weekend-of-weekends-part-3/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/06/30/weekend-of-weekends-part-2/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/06/28/weekend-of-weekends-part-1/

Possibly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, this was. I mean, *sniff*, when will I ever get to photograph this many cops, together, from all parts of Canada, united to beat your ass if you step out of line. *sniff*

I still maintain a pretty hard line against many of the protesters. It’s why I had to stick my proboscis between them and the police, right at the front lines, just to see who was being the bigger loser.

Yeah, I’m sure some of the cops stepped out of line too – I’m not naive. I was told a few times by local bike police to “watch out for those Montreal cops”. Seems that ever since the October Crisis, they’ve just been on edge. And after the event the hordes got shipped back to wherever they came from; local law? Screw it – prosecution for only the few local cops who could be identified (and that takes some doing).

Whatever local law is anyways, because no one from the Chief of Police on down seemed to know what laws were being invoked, and then how to properly invoke them. For the Chief to basically just shrug his shoulders at that moment was a bit disgraceful. It wasn’t that the law was “secret”, to paraphrase the start of his blubbering, “we just didn’t tell anyone about it.” “Oh, and did I say five meters outside the fence? I meant inside!”

And so on.

The whole event shook up some people. For many, I’m sure it was a reaffirmation of their belief that cops aren’t human. Sometimes that belief was the cause, not the effect; a fact that some people still refuse to see.

I had my own run-in with the cops prior to the event so I had my fair share of jadedness – it could’ve gone either way. At the same time I was kept on the razor’s edge by some of the idiocy being lobbed out by the other side.

But by the end of the day, having been there for almost the whole thing, in my mind the cops fared better than the “protesters”. The ones carrying the placards and marching peacefully weren’t the ones who threw the bricks or set the fires, and like many people, I wish the cops had beat the latter group’s asses as they looted Yonge Street.

The other problems that followed were a real simple equation: cops tense from the previous days, imported trouble-makers who don’t give a flying fuck, plus people who feel a sudden need to demonstrate that they’re “free”.

The cops swooped in, some genuine trouble makers were conked on the head, some ignorant goofs were too, along with suddenly socially aware media whores, and at the end of the day I’m pretty satisfied that most of the people who sat on their asses in those cells probably deserved to be there. And guess what? Police can stop and detain you for up to 24 hours without a warrant, G20 or not, so people for whom this is a genuine concern can continue to express their outrage the other 51 weekends out of the year. I haven’t seen much evidence of this.

I learned a whole lot that weekend and the weeks leading up to it. It wasn’t always easy to watch, but we got through it and, I think, we’re a little wiser for the experience.

Although it’s almost 6 months later now, conduct is being questioned and people are making apologies. Well, the cops are anyways. I really wasn’t sure what to think going in, but it’s exactly why I had to be there.

When the clouds finally lifted, the boards were removed with shiny new glass underneath, and the graffiti had been scrubbed off, I ended up feeling pretty optimistic about Toronto.

Definitely the biggest story of my year.

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The end has come! (part 1)

Patrick — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:51:29 +0000

Those people with the end-of-the-world sandwich boards were eerily accurate now that I think of it; the end did indeed come! (this after being nigh for a whole year)

But do you notice how they never bother to mention the party that happens at the end, or how, really, the only thing that ends on New Year’s is sobriety?

I’d wanted to knock a few glasses during the countdown but my celebrations ended up being a bit more demure. Wait, no, non-existent is a lot more correct. Maybe it was the change in weather (the overcast, rainy evening), or maybe I’m just getting old, but I plunked my ass on the sofa at around nine in the evening intending to head out in a couple of hours, and I closed my eyes for just a few moments — just a few goddam moments! – and that was that.

I woke up on the first at around four-thirty in the morning with a Jersey Shore marathon doing laps in the background, Ollie spread-eagled in the middle of the living room, and everything so painfully over that there was really nothing left to do but turn it all off and get back to resting my eyes.

On the well-rested side, I slept comfortably in the knowledge that Nathan Phillips Square likely wouldn’t have been any different than it had been during the past few years: no-name entertainment, Citytv dignitaries, fireworks going off thrillingly close to City Hall, rain, cold, and the same old rigmarole.

Yup, Toronto City Life isn’t all glamour and glitz, despite what you might read around here. And what exactly is it about, then? Why, perhaps I could start off with the first picks in a top-ten list of my fave posts from 2010, to illustrate. (Hey, everyone’s doing it!)

—

#10

Sweat and Spandex 2010

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/06/02/sweat-and-spandex-2010/

Definitely makes the cut because of relative ease of access, great location, great subjects, and almost guaranteed drama. I’m still a little surprised that this event isn’t more popular but I’m thanking my lucky stars at the same time — you can get just about anywhere around the track while enjoying fine beverages and meals along the way. It’s a classy sort of spectator sport in that way, and is quite a grueling workout for the commoners out there on their bicycles every year, grinding metal and bone against pavement for your amusement while you feast and imbibe. Can’t be beat!

#9

The Projects project

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/03/07/the-projects-project-pt-3-the-photo-essay-one/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/02/23/the-projects-project-pt-2-2/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/02/19/the-projects-project-pt-1/

Regent Park is a volatile place at the best of times. Just when police thought they had a hold on the violence in the area that erupted there a decade or so ago (if I’m not mistaken), it seems to be returning as of the end of 2010.

Gotta be honest, if it wasn’t for the graffiti, the place would look like a prison camp. Straight up. The buildings are squat, brutish, and not usually well cared for. Dumpsters sit prominently in front of each squat and it’s mostly nothing but pavement and brick of the same ilk in all directions.

It’s meant as the go-between place for people new to Toronto. At least, that seems to have been the idea since time immemorial. But some people are never able to make it out for one reason or another. Not sure why someone would choose to be stuck there, especially when you see the amount of hopeful / guiding / mournful / unifying / uplifting stuff that adorns neighbourhood’s walls.

And don’t mistake Regent Park as some dropping off point for criminals, although it seems to be a good place to engender some. There are people there from all over, many with kids, most just trying to do better. The city can just be a bitch sometimes.

All the best in the new year, Regent Park!

#8

Honest Education

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/02/03/honest-education-pt-3/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/02/01/honest-education-pt-2/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/01/29/honest-education-pt-1/

When old Ed Mirvish died a few years ago, among the eulogizing attendees at his funeral were the mayor (plus two former mayors) of Toronto, current and former Premieres of Ontario, and the Lieutenant Governor of Ontario.

Ed was a big cheese.

That goes for every sense of the word too. When you enter into Ed’s store, the wacky tacky three-ring and block-wide circus of shopping, there’s absolutely no doubt that P.T. Barnum and Mirvish were cut from the same cloth. The amount (and I believe it’s growing), of memorabilia hanging from the walls is sometimes staggering.

My faves include old posters from the shows that Ed put on at his growing retinue of theatres, and the signed photos from the actors that appeared in them. Then there are the enlarged reproductions of Ed hob-knobbing it with the Brat Pack, the Queen of England, and famous people of all kinds – singers, actors, politicians; it just keeps going and going.

And just when you think there couldn’t possibly be more, you hit the basement where they sell very different stuff – a 19th century Thai shrine, for example; a cool $24,000. But it’s all sitting out on the floor just like the $2 socks on the level above. Come to think of it, the socks were more neatly arranged.

I still can’t believe they didn’t shoo me out of the store for whipping out my lens at every opportunity, and just for that I can continue to recommend Ed’s as a place to buy quality merchandise at cheapo prices. Those $10 blankets I bought during that visit are holding up well, and if you visit at around this time of year you might end up with a free turkey too.

#7

Zombieology 2010

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/10/24/zombieology-101/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/10/26/zombieology-102/

Brains. Braaains. Brains. Brns brns brns. Braaains. Brains. Brains brains, brains brains brains Brains brains? Haha! No effin’ brains. Brains brains brains braaaaaaains.

Brains brains brains – brains, and more brains – brains brains brns. BRAAAAAAAINS! I brained. Brain brain brain, brain brain? Brains! I brained a brain and brains brained the brain. After that, it was all just braaaaaaains and brains brains brain brain brains.

Brain the brains next year. BRAAAAAAAAINS 2010.

brains.

#6

Tripping a Frozen Sunset

http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/01/11/tripping-a-frozen-sunset-pt-1/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/01/14/tripping-a-frozen-sunset-pt-2/
http://www.torontocitylife.com/2010/01/16/tripping-a-frozen-sunset-pt-3/

This wasn’t a series I liked because of its brains but because of its beauty.

One of the problems of living in Toronto is winter. It sucks outside the city all the more, but it can get just as cold and frozen here as anywhere else. About now is when that period begins.

And there are the short days too. You look outside at noon and you’d think it was the middle of the frickin’ afternoon! The sun hangs low in the south so if you’re blessed with a clear day, the only place to get good lighting during an early winter sunset is by the lake.

One of the cool things about living in Toronto is what the ice and snow do the city, especially by the water. You can get an eyeful there at the right time of day (or night). It’s the scale of the thing that I enjoy; a frozen lake of that size, illuminated by a glowing sunset or piercing city lights – that’s something to see.

—

Oooh! There you have the first 5 picks of 2010. And believe me when I tell you, I agonized over every post I’d written in the past year during the selection process. I mean, just picking out 10 random posts with photos would be cheap and meaningless, right? Hehe. *nervous laugh*

Continued in next part…

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Let’s get trite!

Patrick — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 01:28:08 +0000

Just for the record, I don’t think the Toronto Star is a rag just because it chooses to indulge in some fluffy writing. But when I saw this posted a few days ago I felt a deep need to open it up to some criticism:

That attractive graphic is from the following story: http://www.thestar.com/news/article/905944–everything-you-need-to-know-about-winter-cycling-in-the-gta

Yup, everything you need to know about winter cycling in the GTA. Title sounds really interesting, doesn’t it? Soon as I saw it I was imagining something like comparisons of routes or interesting techniques to help you keep your balance, that kinda stuff. Instead, the article opens, “With the right clothing, gear and techniques, even the most casual cyclist can keep rolling all year round.”

Clearly the Star’s definition of “casual” is a bit different than mine. Have another gander at that illustration … casual cyclist? Really?

Then they get into the “everything you need to know” part:

Ride slower
Anticipate stops
Be aware
Reduce tire pressure
Know the conditions
Turn safely

Okay, so taking some air out of your tires might not be common knowledge. Maybe. And it is useful (increasing the tire contact area allows you to stop better), but the rest of these points can be boiled down to simply: be careful!

The rest of the advice is almost as trite: dress warm (I never would’ve thought of that myself), keep your bike maintained (because it rides better when it’s seized up), oil your lock so it doesn’t freeze (below -10°C oil does shit), and wear goggles if you find you can’t see. Oh yeah, and wear your “pinko” badge so that you can proudly display how anti-car you are.

They should’ve called the article “Obvious winter cycling tips for slow people who may never have experienced winter”.

I don’t bike much so I don’t have much to offer on this topic, but I’m pretty darned sure they could’ve done better.

Here are a few walking tips (since that’s what I do best), hopefully not so obvious, and hopefully actually useful. And no, this more than likely isn’t everything you need to know.

Power Walking

This isn’t that walking technique where you stick your hips out and take long, funny-looking strides (even though that is actually pretty effective), this has to do with simply increasing your walking speed while simultaneously reducing your effort.

Here’s how most people walk (shot, incidentally, in front of my Ray John video backdrop — almost there!):

Note that the rear foot is bent as the leg pushes against the ground, propelling you forward. The standard walk.

In the power walk, your foot stays mostly straight and usually doesn’t go quite as far back:

Instead of pushing yourself forward, here you’re mostly pulling yourself by focusing on extending your leading leg farther out in front and using the backs of your leg to pull your body forward.

The difference is hard to spot but if you’re using it you’ll notice an immediate increase in speed. I mean you will literally feel yourself lurch forward. And all you really have to do is concentrate on pulling yourself along the ground; concentrate on using the muscles down the back of your legs, even squeeze your ass at the end of each stroke. It’s amazing how fast you’ll suddenly be able to go, and I find it doesn’t take nearly as much effort as the standard “push” walk.

Winter Walking

The winter walk is simply an extension of the power walk. Believe it or not you can actually maintain an almost equal pace to that on dry pavement simply by stiffening your legs.

I only have one real pair of winter boots and I only use those when the snow gets too high to wear anything else. All my other shoes are slippery on just about anything else – snow, ice, wet grates, pavement marking, stone, etc. I’ve found that by keeping my legs stiff, barely bending my knees, and by using the same power walking motion (pulling instead of pushing), I can move at a great clip across just about anything.

This technique works mostly because of the pulling motion … the force against the slippery surface increases as your leg gets closer to your center of gravity. In regular walking, you exert most of the force down and then back, almost forcing your foot to slide out from under you as you become unbalanced.

By keeping your legs stiff you’re keeping the force relatively steady … not pushing too much here nor there and potentially setting yourself up for a slip at that point. By bending your knees you’re introducing another dynamic into the equation and it becomes that much more difficult to control.

Stair Walking

This technique also applies mostly to slippery surfaces, but don’t let that stop you! It actually comprises of two parts: the walking up the walking down. And yes, very different.

While walking up stairs, what you want to do is to place your whole foot on the next step as flat as you can get it. Some people put only half a foot or they “toe” it up the stairs, but as this is the foot that’s propelling you forward, you want to give it as much surface area to grip with as possible (think power walking). Get that whole sucker on there!

On the way down it’s the exact opposite; here you want to toe it down, or hit each lower step with only the first half of your foot first. In this case, if you put the whole foot flat on the lower step you’re forcing yourself to lean back a bit, often resulting in your rear foot sliding out from under you before you’ve had a chance to step down (kind of like a “push” step but in reverse).

And there you go, three actual useful tips that you may not have considered and that don’t imply that you’re an ignorant dolt. And I didn’t even waste a great infographic!

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Wisdom of the flock

Patrick — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 02:46:01 +0000

Funny how you forget the little things year after year.

Like the gusts that tear at your exposed flesh at every opportunity, completely oblivious to what the weather report said. And how at -1° Celsius (30° Fahrenheit), you’re allowed to say that the air is literally freezing.

But there you have it, eh? Winter.

Found myself at a party a couple of weekends ago. It featured Turducken.

I usually look up everything but, for some reason, took this invite at its word. Whatever Turducken was, I was sure it would be okay.

Turned out to be a Turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken. I posited that the only way to improve this would be to wrap it in bacon: Baturducken.

The regular instigators were there, as well as a number of people I hadn’t met before.

I shook everyone’s hand and shook my head clear of their names as soon as I heard them, pretty much par for the course don’tcha know. I figure, if it’s really that important, there are lots of ways to figure out how to address someone.

The evening was swell, I ate miscellaneous fowl, imbibed various spirits, and had lots of nice conversations.

Following a brief discussion of how some guy died after being “made love to” (my words) by a horse, the evening was capped with a talk about Mexican girl and donkey shows.

I have to say, it totally changed my perceptions.

I thought I’d seen all the weirdest porn that the Internet had to offer, yet found myself bested by three women — finally and unequivocally proving that the ladies are perhaps not as pristine as they may intimate. (raised eyebrows) Yeah.

I noted how the conversation had gone down south so quickly, but no one seemed to register either entendre. And since I hadn’t seen any of said Mexican shows, I didn’t have much else to contribute. Isn’t that always the way?

The evening ended much as it had started, with me walking through the door half-baked (I pre-drink, thus saving the host some alcohol, thus being a courteous guest). I might’ve left all my contributions behind, but I came away with a happy arm-full of knowledge.

Thus I put to you:

Continuing education, it’s the shit.

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Makhniashvellian deeds

Patrick — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 03:46:26 +0000

Okay, so before we begin, I have to come right out and say that this is an interactive blog post so I have to insert some caveats right up front.

First, make sure you’re physically able to perform a moderate jumping motion. To those of you who mock this warning, you’d be surprised. To those of you not surprised, I urge you to consult with a physician first.

Next, make sure you’re wearing comfortable athletic footwear and clothing and that the area around you is clear.

Stretch your calves, hamstrings, quadriceps, biceps, triceps, glutes, and anything else that stretches or jiggles. Especially if it jiggles.

Now get ready to do a little leaping!

Right down to a little village on the border between the U.S. and Mexico, a spec of mud on a dusty plain known as “concluçions”. The English pronunciation is, as usual, bastardized.

You see, in this lawless land, a man must carry the scales of justice in his own back pocket. I do. Nice, shiny set engraved by my pappy. And that can be a euphemism for whatever you like, darlin’.

I’m using the scales on old Vakhtang Makhniashvili and they’re tellin’ me this guy’s a scoundrel.

If you don’t know the guy, the original story or subsequent events, or how to pronounce his name, I can sum it all up for you in a paragraph.

The name is pronounced: “Vak-zHTeng-toænGgH (K-CHT) MЋë-Shnee-Shmia-Shmeely-Vooly”. The “K-CHT” is an optional clearing of the throat following the first name. He was initially famous because his daughter went missing from her high school just over a year ago (still no sign). And ‘cuz he stabbed someone ‘cuz the dude got too loud.

At that time people were all, like, “he’s under a lot of stress and he’s probably having trouble fitting in anyways on account of being an immigrant, and blah blah blabbidy blah.”

Well I ain’t from around these parts neither, missy, but I’ll tell you whut … that’s horse manure out where I come from.

So, daughter’s missing and he’s languishing in jail, seems like a crappy sitch, no? What I’m getting at is that I wouldn’t stab the people who bailed me out of there, ya know? Like he did to his neighbours, pretty much strangers until they put up the money.

So now Vakhtang’s stuck three people like so much spicy Georgian sausage and I’m starting to think to myself, hmm, you know, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit to think he might’ve stabbed his daughter too.

Is that such a far leap? I dunno, how did it feel for you?

Alls I’m saying is that most oftentimes, the obvious is correct. Occam’s razor et al. And speaking of knives, who told buddy that slashing your way out of a fight is the “in” way to resolve your differences? Knives can do a lot more damage than a pistol can so if you pull one in a fight, one of you is liable to not be walking away. Pretty sure that’s true anywhere in the world.

Stress? Pshyeah right! One stabbing, maybe … but three? Is this how he relieves stress? Well, fuck, I’m glad he’s not doing it for the sexual pleasure.

Basically, it’s summed up by that famous quote from George Bush:

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, stab me once, shame on – shame on you. Stab me – you can’t get stabbed again. Heh heh.”

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Parade of delinquency and terror, the sequel

Patrick — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 01:39:39 +0000

I tried to warn my sis. I referred her to last year’s experience. I told her this was no place for impressionable young kids. Did she listen? Did she do the responsible thing and not accept my invitation to the Santa Claus Parade? Am I wallowing in rhetoric just to fill up a few sentences?

If ever you’ve experienced an aversion to screaming midget hellions accompanied by double-wide-stroller-pushing “adults”, this is the one event that’s guaranteed to permanently damage your brain. Santa becomes Satan so very easily.

Dante’s little excursion through his so-called “Inferno” was, in comparison, a pleasant bonfire. Which would’ve been nice as this particular circle of hell was damn close to freezing over.

On top of this, imagine thousands of screaming infants, cranky at the excessive gaps in the procession because there were no more clowns to keep them entertained (or because they’d just been entertained by clowns).

Oh, it wasn’t all TSA-approved body cavity searches. Some of the floats were your standard Christmas parade fare and that’s okay. But even then I noticed a general propensity for using characters that had massive, Japanese Anime-like eyes. Except the Japs’ stylized characters are usually pleasant, if not mildly arousing. The things atop these trailers looked more like Smeagol (a.k.a. Gollum). Preciousssss.

And in bygone days we had corporate sponsors to blame for the declining mirth, now it’s a lineup of what looks like recycled floats with the soft drink logos ripped off. ‘cept they’re not fooling me, I know who these polar bears use to shill for.

Both my nephews still believe in the fat guy. I blame that irresponsibility on their parents.

Maybe my sis is trying to do some vicarious holidaying; she maintains that I stripped the joy out of Christmas by forcing on her irrefutable evidence that Santa doesn’t exist. Sounds like something I’d do. But listen, the earlier they learn that reindeer don’t fly, rabbits don’t shit chocolate eggs, and that uncle Patrick is really the guy who ponied up for their awesome new PS3 game, the earlier we can all get to enjoying the true meaning of Christmas: alcohol and time off work.

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Been preocuppied

Patrick — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 19:55:49 +0000

I guess it’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?

After a while a blog becomes like a part of your body; it’s hard not to want to scratch it regularly. For me, every other day seems to work okay but a week — well, that requires one big-ass scratch.

So, in lieu of a bunch of back-dated posts, here’s a digest of what’s been keeping me busy for the past week:

I’ve started a new blog. Kinda. The first part is the domain registration and the setting up of all the hamster wheels and such. Then the blinking buttons and knobs and switches get put in, and finally you have the beginnings of a blog:

RayJohnBlog.com

Did I explain that correctly? What I mean is, you won’t see much but an empty blog sitting there, so don’t get all excited. But I don’t expect to take too long until launch — I’ve got an adequately pointy and antagonistic theme picked out and I’ll be keeping everything else pretty simple at the beginning.

K, so who’s Ray John? I am. He’s an alias, a moniker, a nom de plume.

Actually, he’s a bit more than that. Ray John is a personality that I hope to develop into results like money, loose women, and fame. Not necessarily in that order. Of course, since I’ll be penning him, and even more importantly, since I’ll be the face (and perhaps voice) of Ray John, he’ll have to be some well established part of my psyche that has plenty to say. So if you can sit through this drivel, you should be okay with Ray’s stuff too.

I’ve known two Rays in my life; one saw my younger sister for a while and ended up being the assholiest of jerks, the second was a developer I worked with who was a thoroughly enjoyable fellow. Neither Ray was the inspiration here … I don’t even particularly like the name Ray to be honest. The name comes from “rage on”, the underlying idea that started me down this slippery slope. The combined name “Ray John” works phonetically, sounds like a ubiquitously ticked-off middle-class white dude, and also uses the most common spellings of both names. The thing was hardly spontaneous; sorry if that bursts anyone’s bubble. You can go right ahead and pretend I beat the name out of a three-headed purple dragon named Elvis if it adds to the mystique.

Since Ray is also a Torontonian I’ll be syndicating some of his blog on TCL. Ray’s blog topics won’t be limited to Toronto, however, which is why I needed to make this split. Besides, I want to give him room to breathe and grow.

Be sure to check out “The Ray John Blog: I Got Beefs” just as soon as I post a big honkin’ link to it at the top of the sidebar.As for Toronto City Life, why, we’re just getting started here. ;)
Got me my first fully independent contract (and I gave myself a generous raise too). Okay, so technically the second contract, but who’s counting? I started on a portfolio site but didn’t have a chance to add any content before I landed the gig. Meh, maybe next time.

Still, great excuse to get me a new ‘puter. Nothing fancy, mind you, but she’ll crunch the numbers I need crunched.
A couple of nights ago I notice a “drip drip” coming from somewhere around the bedroom when the upstairs neighbours were running their water. By yesterday afternoon, the leak had broken through the ceiling in my closet.

I’d assumed that the water must either be coming from the shower or sink … it ran too long for it to be the toilet (thank God!) The plumber initially agreed with my assessment but after poking his head through the ceiling for about an hour, running the neighbours’ faucets, man-handling the pipes, etc., he concluded that it was the grout in the shower upstairs that was the source of the leak.

Seems like older buildings like mine had grout applied right on top of drywall so once compromised, the thing just turns to mud. In this case, however, it isn’t merely the grout that’s coming away, the whole corner of their shower is apparently all puckered up and ready to fall off. Minor miracle that I’d just noticed it now, in fact.

So, good news is that, for me, it means minor drywall work in my closet. And I learned how to fix common water pressure problems too! For my neighbours, it means that their bathroom (and especially shower), will be off-limits for a while.

I’ve been doing a lot of unappreciated, behind-the-scenes work here at TCL. You might’ve noticed that the sidebar ain’t what it used to be, the syndication / section buttons at the top of the page are aligned differently, and the site has shed a bunch of excess baggage.

Most notable are the ads — nice for pocket change but they hardly pay for the blog’s upkeep, so I decided to ditch them. If TCL’s going to make money, it won’t be by advertising for Groupon, that’s for sure.

So we’re essentially back to basics here … pure blogging. Not such a bad thing. ;)
So now that I’m officially funding the blog out of pocket, I’ve been making bigger efforts to give my Flash development persona a bit more exposure. Half-completed portfolio notwithstanding, the 1,300-member professional group I run on LinkedIn has been useful. Much like a blog, a group without an involved owner tends to die a slow and miserable death, so it means I have to drop by at least once a day. Plus, I like the act of personally approving (or denying), every new member request. I only wish there was a “Deny With Extreme Prejudice” button there sometimes.
Even when I’m not blogging, I’m never too far away. About a week ago, for example, a snake got loose in a nearby apartment building.

The Samuel L. Jackson moment passed (“Motherfuckin’ snakes in motherfuckin’ drains!” ), but I still hauled my carcass out there with the camera. Even though roughly 75% of my material never sees the light of day, there are lots of corollary benefits that make the effort of blogging worth it. So although I may not be as timely as I like with actually posting stuff, I’m nonetheless running around like I am. And, unfortunately, I’m not quite yet surgically attached to Twitter the way some people are. Working on it though. ;)
If I hear NaNoWriMo one more time, someone’s getting smacked in the gob. It has to be one of the most annoying, pointless, and stupid calendar inventions — not unlike Earth Day. Apparently the idea is that participants take the month of November to write a novel. Because they care so deeply about writing the other 11 months. Basically, if you’re neither motivated or interested enough the rest of the year, come November you’re just being a poser.

So now that I’ve directly insulted anyone participating, let me just say for the record that I do actually write year-round, and not just the blog. The “Intrigue and the City” post I wrote a couple of weeks ago is the updated first chapter of a novel I started roughly 5 years ago. Originally it featured a couple of University of Toronto students but the burned spy thing adds an edge that the original was missing. The concept for the story came to me a few years earlier so in reality the novel’s even older. I’d managed to put about 20 chapters to paper before deciding that I needed to spice it up a bit.

Of course, putting it on TCL implies I should include some pictures too. Here’s a preview from the next chapter:

In between this I’ve tried to squeeze in a few meals and even a shower now and again. Hey, beats sitting around on an unemployed ass, right? What I really need at the moment is more hours in the day, and some kinda drug to let me take advantage of all of them without bullshit interruptions like sleep.

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Zombieology 102

Patrick — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 01:14:27 +0000

…continued from previous part.

I’ve been trying to understand the appeal of zombieism — it does, after all, seem to be gaining in popularity. Is it simply a fad? Once the flakes start to fall will they just slow down and freeze, or will they have enough brains to wear parkas?

That just-feasted-on-your-hippocampus look doesn’t do much to protect you from the ravages of a Toronto winter.

Not that I’m against skimpily-clad zombies, per se, but it just seems like a very limited-time sort of deal.

Then I came to the realization that the whole march is an early Halloween for big kids. You know, being cool and undead and all, they do it a couple of weeks before the tykes, but the concept is basically the same.

I don’t see a need to dig into any deep sociological theory. Seems pretty self-evident.

Having said that, I don’t want to be taken in the wrong way here. If this is what yanks your chain then, hey, by all means indulge in a little brain. To me, the appeal of autumn is a much more holistic experience; zombies are simply a part of the larger picture inhabited by unshaven werewolves, toilet paper mummies, ghostly sheets, teenagers dressed as … teenagers, shabby plastic Scooby Doos, and so on.

But you have to give some of them points for effort. It’s one thing to smear a little blood on your face but a genuine zombie really needs to up their game to be taken seriously. Being dead has the advantage of being able to do all sorts of fucked up shit to your face, so that’s where originality comes in.

Then, at the end it’s a big old party in the park where everyone gets a t-shirt and does a spooky boogie. This is not unlike getting a grab bag at a Halloween party and then doing a nervous jerky jig when the party music starts.

At the end of the day, zombies put their pants on one leg at a time like you or me. Well, I sometimes do both at the same time, but that’s probably not relevant. Someone who willingly engages in zombieism simply has a nostalgia for when they were younger, when Halloween was about real spooky stuff, when they were alive. I myself maintain my tenuous sanity through a web of partial memories and nostalgic fragments, so who am I to judge?

I say live and let stay dead.

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Election Day!

Patrick — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 16:48:19 +0000

The battle started ten months ago with seven contenders. By April there were twenty-six sluggers of varying degrees of viability in the ring. Then came the fisticuffs.

Some suffered, I believe, from a simple lack of exposure, which to me translates as a lack of experience. Others put up a pretty good fight but had to concede defeat. Notables include:

Adam Giambrone – Finishing his term as head of Toronto’s Transit Commission and toppled over a sex scandal in February. I didn’t lose any sleep over it. Plus, Jammers is what, like, 18? He’s got plenty of politics ahead of him if he wants to stay in the game.

Giorgio Mammoliti – Had a bit of momentum but in July decided he’d rather try to stay on as a Toronto Councillor for his current ward. No mistaking Giorgio as being anything but 100% bona fide Ai-talian, but I guess it takes more than that these days. I don’t think he even has any mob connections.

Sarah Thompson – Strangely, not yet on the list of mayoral casualties, but Sarah gets an extra star next to her name for being the feisty (previously unknown) newcomer who demonstrated she could play with the big kids. She hung in for quite a while before throwing in the towel about a month ago and joining forces with George Smitherman. She’s a self-made businesswoman and has her own magazine — I think she’ll be fine.

Rocco Rossi - The man with the million-dollar smile is also not on the drop-out list but this was only a couple of weeks ago (the paperwork to update a government website probably takes as long). Rocco was the ringleader behind John Tory’s campaign — the one other man who might’ve broken through in this selection had he chosen to run. Unfortunately, Rocco’s beaming smile and charisma didn’t carry him through and he left quietly without endorsing anyone else.

As many people expected, the race was mostly just casual mud flinging until September or so when the media got in high-gear. Then it was one debate and town hall after another, none of which I attended. To be honest, I think the websites of the top three candidates should be enough, though trying to make out the candidates hollering over each other has its charm.

George Smitherman

When this all started I mentioned that George, “is gay and looks like a bulldog. Both, I believe, in his favour.” I still expect that he’ll probably win although I’m not convinced I’ll be ticking off his name. Some of his key promises include:

100-day tax, hiring, spending freeze while the city budget is re-evaluated. Sounds kinda nice but I sure hope nothing happens during those 100 days that might require hiring or spending. And, let’s face it, 100 days later, we might all be paying even more.
Fair tenant taxes. Apparently I pay more in property taxes through my rent than a homeowner — who knew? However, the $50 / year savings isn’t making me pee myself with excitement.
Transit. Everyone loves this issue — for a city the size of Toronto, we are pretty damn far behind when it comes to public transit. We only have 3 main subway lines and most of our subway cars / streetcars are antiques. On top of this, streetcars take up literally 50% of the roads downtown but the roads can’t be expanded — we’ve got light rail-infrastructure but not enough room. George wants to phase in updates over 10 years starting with getting transit going along the lake shore for the Pan Am Games in 2015. After that he wants to start construction on East-West lines in the north and update the Scarborough LRT (an eastern extension to the Bloor Subway line). Generally speaking, I’m not against this idea, but it seems incredibly wasteful to essentially scrap Transit City.
Creating about 500 jobs through an Economic Ambassador program and prodding businesses to hire locally. Most of the city’s financial troubles will be addressed through attrition (not replacing people who retire), and by combining fire and emergency services. Electricity provider Toronto Hydro would stay in public hands. Sounds long and tedious, possibly necessary.

Rob Ford

Rob has been so easy to criticize during this campaign. He’s well known for making off-colour public remarks and sticking his foot into his mouth on a regular basis. I don’t think he’s a bad guy, he’s just not very diplomatic. The beefy football coach’s campaign was managed by his brother (not dissimilar in many ways), and was unsurprisingly dotted with all manner of scandal and accusation. Still, Rob weathered the storm and he’s neck-and-neck with George; most polls agree it could easily go either way today.

Some of what Rob says he’ll do includes:

Cut City Hall. Just generally, cut it. Rob’s “stop the gravy train” message resonates with many people who think politicians have been getting a free ride for too long. Councillors like Sandra Bussin, who think nothing of making anonymous phone calls to radio stations, Paula Fletcher who screams down opposition, or my own ward’s now-retired Kyle Rae who probably shouldn’t have thrown himself a $12,000 going-away party, have really helped to cement Rob’s line. While I like the rigour with which Rob approaches this, and cutting back City Hall is just a good idea anyway, most of the plan seems way too small to make a significant difference. Good try, Rob, but you need to think bigger!
Make the TTC an essential service. Right now transit can be shut down by a strike, something that wouldn’t happen if it was designated to be essential. Mostly, though, Rob wants to end the “war on cars” he says is being perpetrated by the city so it’s obvious where his heart lies on this issue. Incredibly myopic and with few details. Sorry, Rob, another miss.
Eliminate Land Transfer and Vehicle Registration Taxes. Obviously this one’s for the burbs. Good on Rob for reaching out but I’m feeling a bit left out here. No love, Rob, no love.
Consider privatizing garbage collection. After last year’s strike, this is certainly something to consider. But I’m starting to sense a bit of a theme here…garbage strike pissed people off, traffic pisses people off, City Hall spending pisses people off, etc. While I’d be happy to see these things addressed, this is definitely reactionary politics; I don’t see a long-term plan here.

Joe Pantalone

If you didn’t know Joey Pants before, you do now. If nothing else can be said about this dimunitive Deputy Mayor, he’s the most eminently qualified — he’s almost mayor now. However, and perhaps because of his height, Joe’s had to jump up and down and wave twice as hard as anyone else just to be heard.

Even though the chances of him becoming mayor are slim at this point, you gotta give the little guy credit for hanging in there; only he and George stayed on for the full ten months. Plus, everything I’ve heard about him indicates he’s genuinely a nice guy with a good head for this sort of thing. He just falls below the radar, that’s all.

Here’s what Joe promises our fair city if he’s elected:

Improved transit and everyone’s welcome on the roads. Of all the candidates, Joe has the most complete plans I’ve seen (and fanciest Powerpoint slides too). In this area he’s taking the sanest most middle-of-the-road approach, but puts most of his weight behind bikes (rentals, better lanes, etc.), and public transit. He’s a fan of Transit City, the big plan put in place by current Mayor Miller to expand transit both out of town and fix what we have here. If you ask me, this is the most sensible approach — Transit City is already underway and the plan extends out to all of Toronto. Tearing it down and starting something new would be a massive waste.
Reducing poverty and homelessness. Again, Joe has solid numbers he wants to see year over year, including building of new affordable housing units, finding housing for homeless people, and so on. I have no idea if any of these numbers are realistic but I’m thinking that Joe probably had a pretty good idea by now.
Predictable taxes and fare increases. No promises of tax reductions here, just that tax and fare increases should be transparent and predictable. Joe wants Community Councils to run their own budgets while pushing some provincial service costs to the province. Currently, they say how stuff gets run but we in the city pay for it. How the hell did that happen?!
Sustainable / environment initiatives. Pantalone’s got a green thumb, it seems. He’s one of the few candidates mentioning this topic and is demonstrating that he’s both a tie-dyed hippie and a bleeding heart. Besides investing in so-called green programs, Pantalone also want the city to get more involved in food production, increase support services for women, children, and families, and he’s got a whole section on helping out the elderly.
Support diversity and youth, and tackle bed bugs. Generic, general, and really? Joe’s not the only candidate to mention bed bugs but news on this has been fairly sparse lately — and you know media love bed bug stories. Well, here’s the deal, I don’t have bed bugs and I didn’t see any mention of rent reductions so that about does it for me.

I don’t believe in the throw-away, lesser-of-evils, vote-by-fear approach. Anyone who trudges out that old pony should quickly be reminded that a minority win is just as significant on the make up of City Hall. Or Parliament. Or whatever. We should vote for the best candidate even if they’re a long-shot.

In another four years we’ll be doing this again so that little bit of support could make the difference next time around. And it’s note-worthy to point out that City Hall isn’t just the mayor, there are 44 Councillors representing the various wards of this sprawling metropolis, and they all get a vote just like the Mayor. Plus, the Council vote is just as crucial; it’s traditionally been the Councillors that have been the biggest dicks at City Hall.

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Zombieology 101

Patrick — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 23:03:32 +0000

Heavens! Has it been a year already?

Yup, season’s fully turning now; a fantastic, cold, autumn fog is rolling over the evening city as I write this; leaves are half-shorn and fully gilded; sun’s setting at around 6, to me the most obvious time for evening to start; squirrel’s are getting pudgy; zombies are back on Toronto streets.

The annual walk is now getting between 5,000 to 6,000 zombies and they were tagged as participants for the first time this year. Before this it was just first-come-first-brains.

It was still a pretty casual, slow-moving and cumbersome affair so the new formality was mostly pointless. Toward the end, all sorts of individuals were joining in unhindered.

But mostly it was non-celebrity zombies.

The walk started in Trinity-Bellwoods Park but unlike last year terminus at Bathurst Subway Station, it continued west on Dundas toward Christie Pits — quite a ways to be dragging the old carcass around without any refreshments.

As usual, the route wound through Kensington Market where the group met with some resistance.

Generally, however, the people of Toronto were welcoming to the undead; you’d be surprised how many (in)famous people have joined their ranks!

Perhaps even more significant is the number of normals that swelled the crowd this year. You know, your standard workaday brainless slob.

I make no pretense of understanding the aim of this march. Every year it’s the same rallying cry: “What do we want?! Brains!! When do we want ‘em?! Brains!!”

Interacting with the zombies is generally pointless. Unless you’ve got a meaty cerebellum on you, it’s really tough to get their attention. And then, of course, they never look you in the eye when you’re having a conversation anyway, do they?

Continued in next part…

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Toronto Marathon 2010

Patrick — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 22:13:03 +0000

Yeah, sure I was sore I missed it last year, but c’mon, 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning?! You must be dreaming! (That’s how I missed last year’s marathon.)

But by some perversion of nature I was up at around seven this morning listening to the multitude of road-closure notices being issued over the radio. I thanked Jebus for my continuing ability to walk just about anywhere, and shortly thereafter packed my bag and hit the bricks.

The marathon is made up of a couple of different routes, the full 40-odd kilometer (about 25 miles) bad boy, and the half-marathon. Presumably because of its length, the full Toronto Marathon is considered a qualifier for Boston’s famous run (about the same distance). I could imagine myself doing the full-length thing, if I can be perfectly honest. I can also imagine a stretcher and perhaps a defibrillator mixed up in that scenario.

The half-marathon is one of of those “friends getting together too run” sorts of deals — I don’t think some of the people should’ve been running. Photos will not be posted.

Four hours into the 20 kilometer course, people were still plodding across the finish line as dignitaries stood by waiting for the real runners. Well, technically, dignitary because I didn’t see anyone other than Smitherman. Then again, I don’t get paid to know every mustache on the road, do I?

I was completely expecting a lanky Nigerian to fly by me at the finish line but surprisingly, the first-place guy is a London, Ontario native: Brandon Laan. Brandon is an Olympic hopeful so this is probably a pretty good result for him. A time of less than three hours is considered pretty bad-ass. Brandon breezed by at two hours and twenty-three minutes.

And directly into a snatch of reporters. No, I don’t mean, like, there was a pause for him to catch his breath or something — he slowed down directly in front of the gaggle of press and the microphones just appeared.

In second place was Brendan Kenny of Dundas, Ontario. He was mostly ignored.

And directly afterward came Janis Arsenikovs of Vecumnieki, Latvia. I think he flew in just for the event; he certainly flew his flag, literally crossing the finish line beneath it.

About half an hour later the first-place woman, Nathalie Goyer of St. Bruno, Montreal burst through the ribbon.

I know I’m totally short-changing the women here but I was starting to get an itch to move so I didn’t wait for anyone else. The results are available online anyways.

Mostly what I wanted to see was what it looks like to have just run forty-ish kilometers. The general theme that I took away was one of joy. At survival, I think.

That last corner must’ve seemed like the sweetest sight on earth.

My feet start to get pretty sore after a few hours so the half-marathon would be a healthy challenge. With much training. But to double that? That would take some kinda crazy dedication. So this marathon didn’t have anyone that couldn’t handle it.

Almost.

I look at my ability to rise early enough a major triumph this year. I mean, it is a Sunday. Although I can tackle any movie marathon (it doesn’t come easy, but it can be done!), It was nice to prove to myself that I could get up — that I could push through the fuzzy head. I’m sure many people in the marathon felt the same way. Plus, they were running.

To be honest, running’s not really my thing. Power walking, if I’m feeling flamboyant, I can do — and it can be pretty fast if done correctly. But when it comes to hitting the ground at a full jog, that’s a bit too jarring for my delicate sensibilities.

Next marathon: Sloth City Finals

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