This year the city’s shipping in Euro-crazies for the summer, doing a mayoral throw-down, plus all the other usual seasonal stuff that’s supposed to happen. It’s all a bit overwhelming.

One day at a time.

And by the way, if you’re ever eating Fiddleheads, steam or boil those suckers first. I won’t go into detail but two of us spent many hours ejecting vile green masses and bile from our retching stomachs. Otherwise the baby ferns tasted quite pleasant. They’re in season for only about a week; they say three in the fridge but they start to unfurl in there and get all leafy and bitter — blech – straight into the trash.

Early risers like strawberries and asparagus should start showing up soon if fern isn’t to your liking. After that we should start seeing beans and potatoes, then tomatoes herbs and squashes, and finally apples, pears, peaches, and other fruits. I probably also missed a couple or dozen fruits and vegetables in there. When they’re in season, they really are much better.

Okay, you got me, I spent the day booting around St. Lawrence Market replenishing some much-needed stock. It was dark and grayny today so there wasn’t much else to do – the city felt a bit like a ghost town. One of those days when staying under the covers isn’t such a bad idea, you know? Did I ever suggest that statutory holidays be based on the weather? The first mayoral candidate to take that and run with it automatically gets my vote.

Probably won’t be Rob Ford though. That guy just got a one-two sucker punch; first some comments he made a few years ago about gay people are thrown at his face by Furious George (I believe I did mention how both George’s bulldogged qualities and his homosexuality would be to his advantage), then Rob gets publicly scolded by the integrity commissioner for revealing how much the city was planning to pay for some house.

I suspect this won’t deter him, though – he’ll just have to get his shit together for the next salvo. Whoever’s running the campaign might want to start maybe talking to Rob and get to know him; find out a little more about the candidate. It seems obvious to me but maybe that’s just the nature of municipal politics. Maybe meat just likes to get roasted.

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Those tall fences along the Caribana parade route were a good idea. Unfortunately (for the people in the parade), the fencing only ran down one side of the road, and only for half the distance. That left three-quarters of the roughly one kilometer route (a little over half a mile), open and easily accessible. Once people started climbing the barriers and walking along it, the procession slowed to a crawl.

Despite the crush of people, almost everyone was wearing a grin and either dancing or chowing down on the food that lined the route. It was pretty hard not to have a good time; my rump also shook rhythmically. The sound systems didn’t hurt either; to say that they mashed up the placed would be a bit of an understatement. I still have a collapsed lung!

Awesome.

Today is Simcoe Day and I’ve yet to set foot outside so I’ll let the photos take over from here on in. Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those Wordless Weekday things, just capping off the holiday with bit of a break.

Enjoy!

(And be patient; the post takes a while to load)

Oh, and there’s a part 2, too.

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I highly recommend grabbing a coffee or a Red Stripe before you continue. The photos go on as long as the parade did.

Great parade, but maybe next year a helicopter might be a better way to get around; I don’t think it’s getting any less popular.

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This time we have a website and a comfortable patch of grass. I would applaud this effort, I really would. But I actually started to read the web page:

“We want to re-examine public space and to create work which explores our relationship with the space we inhabit. We wish to de-center and disrupt the accepted n…”

*snore*

*snore*

Wuzzuh?!

*wipe drool*

I don’t know what that site meant but I’ve reprimanded my netbook for showing it to me. I’m sorely tempted to put my programming skills to use in creating a tedious content filter of some sort. When it would detect a web page that fell below the customizable tedium level, the browser would warn you with a gentle weeping sound lest you waste a moment of your valuable life. Also, a shudder if your hardware is equipped for it.

Meh. I’d rather be outside anyway. It’s hard to be bored, especially with Caribana just around the corner. And the rampant crime that goes with it:

That’ll go up to twenty bucks on the weekend. Bumbaclot!

Lamport Stadium is where the Caribana judging takes place, and if memory serves, they have about one-hundred million-billion floats and get-ups to evaluate. It’s a lot, whatever the precise number is.

When it comes to parade costumes, people go certifiably insane. They seal themselves up in darkened workshops for months on end, devoid of any human contact. There, they toil away, metamorphosing wire, fabric, and sequins into wings, antennae, and gaudy headdresses.

Finally, after many months and a third refinancing of the house, they emerge.

As a beautiful, gargantuan butterfly!

I’m sure it’s much more impressive than it looks. From what I remember of past parades, the costumes are enormous. That thing he’s pulling out of the truck is probably meant to be worn on the eyebrow. The rest of the costume usually arrives by helicopter.

I suppose I can understand why they’d want these creations protected behind fences this weekend, but I’m not sure if they’re legally allowed to call it Caribana unless everyone, including spectators, are jumping around. Seems like a fence would dampen that enthusiasm.

When I walked along Lakeshore Boulevard (the parade route) today, it felt a bit like I was in a penitentiary exercise yard. With the natural barrier of Lake Ontario on one side, and the gun-turret-like projections of the Direct Energy Centre on the other, winin’ and/or grinin’ just seems out of place.

Guess we’ll just have to see.

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