The tradition of the so-called “right” to be offended by nothing in particular is being continued by the unqualified air-heads of the Toronto Taxpayers Coalition who decided they just couldn’t stand the commentary coming from Councillors Adam Vaughan and Mike Layton.

The TTC were so infuriated, in fact, that they filed official complaints with the office of the Integrity Commissioner which subsequently requested that the two members of Council apologize. Which they did.

So what foul sentiments did these two ne’er-do-wells express?

[City manager] Pennachetti had estimated that the city would get an annual “hosting fee” payment of $111 million to $148 million per year, tens of millions more than others anticipated, in exchange for hosting for a casino downtown. He also said the casino should be far smaller than the province wanted.

Layton (Ward 19, Trinity-Spadina) said Pennachetti’s figures were “fictitious.” Vaughan (Ward 20, Trinity-Spadina) said they were “fantasy numbers” and “ridiculous.”

“The casino is cut in half and the hosting fee is higher. There is nothing real in this report,” Vaughan told CBC.

Leiper said Vaughan was entitled to express his views. But she wrote that “the repeated use of the phrase ‘nothing real’ when applied to the report is an unfair portrayal of the report. So was the use of the word ‘fantasy.’

There are numerous other examples of the Fords’ benevolence and high regard for fellow human beings, which makes the awful, treacherous, evil words that the Councillors chose so much worse. Next they’ll just flaunt breaking the law like it’s going out of style while mockingly claiming that they know nothing about any rules or regulations (or anything about their jobs, for that matter) — can you imagine?!

Every once in a while I get to talking to random people on the streets about Rob Ford, and invariably the comment, “that’s some mayor you guys elected”, gets tossed out.

So just so everyone’s clear on this: NO WE FUCKING DIDN’T!

In fact, the record clearly shows that almost no one in the city proper voted for Ford. Just because he happens to have gotten elected by light thinkers living on the periphery of the vast region that comprises the city doesn’t mean that the city majority actually voted for him. In fact, in the final tally, only 25% of the Toronto borders, from Scarborough to Etobicoke, actually voted for Ford (about 50% of Toronto voted, and about 50% of those people voted for Ford). He didn’t get a majority by any means, he simply got the most votes in a race where votes were split between a number of people.

Ford Nation doesn’t seem to get this simple fact — adding 1 and 1 seems to be a feat for these people so that’s not surprising — and they maintain (usually on heady sounding boards like the Toronto Sun’s article response threads, brilliant groups like “I Hate The War on Rob Ford“, or brainiac power circles like the “Toronto Taxpayers Coalition“), that because he was elected by a “majority” (sorry, not even close), he should have dictatorial powers. And how dare the city practice representative democracy by allowing 43 other democratically elected Councillors to contradict His Highness on HIS  MANDATE! (doesn’t matter how many votes those Councillors got or how many people they represent).

This is why the remaining 75% of Toronto (probably much more at this point), are pissed off with Ford and his hand-up-the-ass puppet master / brother Doug.

They don’t represent us.

None of their efforts are benefiting downtown residents, which is seen by their supporters as a sort of “yeah, fuck you downtown!” response to those of us “elites” who live here (in neighbourhoods like Regent Park). And I get that the suburbs haven’t exactly gotten the infrastructure that they need, but that doesn’t mean that downtown residents are living some sort of glamorous lifestyle on the backs of taxpayers (oh, and we also pay taxes … shocker!) And they should know that — they use the same fucking transit lines and roads that they themselves congest, that we do. Or would, if only they weren’t such selfish fucks about it.

But that’s my own generalization and it’s unfair, in exactly the same way as putting all the focus on the suburbs and completely neglecting to take care of downtown is. Difference is that I can both see and admit to it. And that, along with a complete inability to see issues for what they are, are Rob-Doug’s abject failures.

Yeah, that’s right — removing the Jarvis Street bike lane based on a lie and at the taxpayers’ expense, isn’t going to ease any of the congestion issues anywhere else in the city, and barely on Jarvis at that (all the idiots that applauded this move are still sitting in traffic on the DVP, Gardiner, 401, etc.)

And cutting the vehicle registration tax saves drivers (again, mostly outside of the city), mere pennies a day amounting to a pittance in the pocket of fools who continue to rage at the real problems that are being ignored (you mean Ford hasn’t fixed traffic or parking or the price of gas?! Those damn Leftards!).

Oh, and that failure of the removal of the Land Transfer Tax (“guaranteed!” over and over again), would’ve saved people the same amount of money that Ford claimed the city was suddenly in the red for. In other words, he knew it would leave the city in a financial hole, lied about it, tried to blame it on his predecessor, and all openly under the noses of the same rubes that received Ford’s scorn because he didn’t get his way on the plastic bag tax. Yeah, he’ll turn on you faster than a rabid dog if he senses any trouble — and thanks for your support!

But at least we know that Fordo’s taking plentiful time out of his “busy” schedule (which no one’s allowed to see, but which doesn’t qualify as behind-closed-doors “skullduggery”), to coach football for his old grade school (abusing his position and city resources — and staff — while he’s at it, and telling everyone that his “commitment”  is on the field and not at City Hall), and helping out those poor, disadvantaged black kids.

The elimination of the Land Transfer Tax is actually a Ford election promise, unlike his push for subways, so that part of his ongoing bluster on the subject is true. The rest, however, including his recent assurance to have it eliminated by the end of his term, has been just one long pile of growing bullkaka.

For starters, shortly before he was elected he made a speech to the Toronto Real Estate Board promising that the LTT would be completely gone by the end of 2012 … “guaranteed!”

Ford blamed the Ontario government’s impending election for delaying the changes beyond his first year.

A little over that first year later, speaking in front of the same group, he vowed to have the LTT reduced by up to 25% by the end of 2012.

“I can’t say we’re gonna wipe it out this year, but it might be a quarter this year, a half next year, or — you know, but we’re gonna do it piece by piece. You’re gonna see a portion of the land transfer tax, I don’t know how much right now, be gone by the end of next year,” Ford said.

Granted we’re not exactly at the end of 2012 yet but Ford is already backing down on even this revised plan (once again revealed in front of the same Toronto Real Estate Board meeting), saying that he’d like to have the process of repealing the tax started by the end of his term in 2014. And in typical Ford fashion, he wants people to “get in councillor’s faces” in order to get his way.

“Folks, you must get in the councillors’ faces,” Mr. Ford said. “As we succeed in reducing costs, we can begin to phase out that terrible land transfer tax, which I never supported and I am adamant to get rid of. I’d like to start doing that before this council term is up.”

To reiterate:

2010 – Rob Ford “guarantees” to have the LTT eliminated by 2012, maybe 2011. Blames MPs, elections for possible delays.
2011 –  Rob Ford cuts back on his “guarantee”, now claiming to have the LTT reduced by about 25% in 2012.
2012 – Rob Ford completely reneges on his “guarantee”, vowing to hopefully set something in motion on the LTT by the end of 2014 (much like many of his other plans). He invites constituents to get in councillors’ faces, presumably because he blames them for his inability to gain traction on the issue.

This, according to Ford-backing tabloid Toronto Sun, is considered “tackling” the LTT. Hmm…why is it still walking then?

Office of Toronto City Councillor McConnell
Attn: Councillor McConnell

Hey, Pam-pam! What’s shakin’, baby? Seems like it’s been ages since we chatted, huh? Come to think of it, I don’t think we ever chatted. We’ve never met, as a matter of fact. But with this new scrutiny about the plane trip you took this summer, I wanted to reach out and let you know you have supporters out there. At least one. Here.

In returning from Florida to put in your vote on this summer’s garbage strike, you helped to break the impasse put in place by the very people now pointing their fingers your way. I’m not sure that $1,100 was the cheapest flight you could’ve found, but compared to the waste and mismanagement proffered by the rest of Toronto Council, this is a pittance. If I contributed to your flight from my own exorbitant taxes, I want you to know that I’m not sore about it. Probably cost me, like, a hundredth of a penny. You’re welcome.

Besides, if you were required return to Toronto to do your job during that special emergency vote, it would have been negligent if you didn’t try to get back quickly. I wouldn’t take any flak from anyone over this if I were you. Show ’em a letter from your satisfied constituent if they think you’re pulling a fast one on them.

Basically, Pammers, don’t let them get you down. You’re doing your job, and you’re doing it well; the other councillors are just jealous. One day they’ll be in jail for whatever illicit underage sexual relationships they’re engaged in (aren’t they screwing the innocent?), and you and I will laugh about it over a couple of cold ones.

Stalwartly yours,
Patrick

To the cyclists of Toronto,

Okay, I admit it, I feel for you. A bit.

When cops start blocking bike lanes to stop off for lunch, that’s a little much. I think everyone’s in agreement that this is just not right. If it’s a fine for the officer, so be it. If there’s an additional reprimand, I don’t think it would be out of place. After all, if the police are going to be enforcing something, they should be following it, otherwise John Q. Lawman won’t be getting much respect around here.

Your beef with many car drivers is a perfectly valid one and this is a fine example. The problem I’m seeing is that there’s a whole lotta antagonism between both sides and no one is making any progress. I see you screaming at cars, many of whom have just made innocent mistakes, sometimes just to vent, sometimes for very good reason indeed. I see them shaking their fists back, neck veins so strained that a pinprick would just instantly fill the inside of the car with red. Woh-oh-oh-hoaw there! Just hang on a second, therre, Nelly. Is it getting hot out here? Let’s just take a deep breath.

I’ve been on both sides of that glass. There are most certainly jerk-hole drivers, and without a doubt jerk-hole cyclists. Jerk-hole pedestrians too. The conclusion I’ve come to is that I’m not going to depend on anyone out there, especially not the jerk-holes, to prevent my death. Besides, there’s plenty of opportunity for death at the hands of other types of drivers: tired, distracted, drunk, high, having a cardiac arrest, having a stroke, having a mechanical failure, etc.

So, you can point at the motorists all you want, but the onus is on you to take responsibility for your own actions first. It’s tempting to just say fuck it when your life is threatened so often, but I urge you to stick it out. Obey the rules of the road to the best of your ability. At the same time, you should expect no less from your fellow travellers. And now you also have a much stronger moral position from which to cuss people off. You can flip them a most righteous bird.

Or you also try talking to people. If they’re parked in the bike lane, why not give them the benefit of the doubt? Maybe they really don’t know what the lane is for. You’ve got tourists and other out-of-towners driving around and the signage around the city’s already pretty crazy. I drove downtown for years and still managed to do lots of inadvertently illegal stuff; rarely did I try to murder cyclists. The two aren’t related.

If I could leave you with one thing it would be this: imagine the surprised driver who, after dangerously cutting you off, finds himself having a friendly and relaxed conversation with you (instead of the usual scream) who explains why that maneuver back there really wasn’t such a good idea. Now you’re not just another jerk-hole cyclist, you’re a human being who’s just trying to get through the day. Just like the driver. Queue rapport! And … action!

Shift that paradigm, as we used to say in the nineties. Oh, and Pam McConnell’s on your side; let that lofty perspective keep you afloat.

I’m still convinced that the cyclist who died hanging off the side of Michael Bryant’s car was being a jerk, but he was just one individual with a mess of personal problems. If he’s going to be the poster boy for something, let it be the end of an era.

Pedestrianly yours,
Patrick

To the former From the desk of Patrick,

Awww crap. Sorry, pal. I thought I was using a copy, I swear, if I knew I was changing the original, I never would’ve done it!

I didn’t have the heart to try to re-write you. Also, I don’t have an idea what you were about. Something regarding sweaters? *sigh*

You’re up in post heaven now with all the other posts that get deleted by naive blog owners (when will they learn?!)

I hope you had a good life here, brief as it was. Your candle blew out long before your legend ever did. Sir Elton John.

Regretfully,
Patrick

Oops. I managed to delete this post.

No great story behind this, unfortunately. No lawsuits, no threatening phone calls, no late-night tech support, just a boneheaded click on the wrong button.

Now the comments below are completely out of context. Neat :)

So, sorry, but have a look at some of the other stuff around here. The archives in the sidebar at the right, I mean. Or do a search for a titillating term.