Toronto City Life » face

Picnics and Animals: Part 1

Katherine — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 20:28:13 +0000

So last week we had a company picnic. I probably shouldn’t even be blogging these because someone could potentially find them and then…oh, like I give a shit.

Last week (and the 4000 weeks I have worked here) was a bit of a hell week. Super busy fun times. Anxiety and allergy attacks were on the roster as well. So the last thing I wanted to do was leave work at 3PM and head out into the heat to attend a picnic in the woods. I was one of the last people to leave because I was trying to get my shit done and everyone was barreling me along. Ugh!! Who says that? I am making it sound like I would have rather been working than attending a fun picnic in the park. NO! I would rather have face-planted into my couch, thank you.

BUT…as you can see, it was a GORGEOUS day. I took a few deep breaths and exited the building. And my crazy brain. I actually thoroughly enjoyed it.

You are beautiful baby.

Still a little keyed up/ rigid here. Can you tell? My pose seems…posed.

I love this place. It always seems so Christmas-y. Even in the Summer. And we all know how psycho I get I feel about Christmas.

There’s the Kato we all know and love!! More relaxed now. The sun did wonders to iron out the kinks in my bones. Sometimes I can be spazzy,

Ahhh….the park, the park.

Much happier now.

I have sat under this very tree many times in my life. With many walks of friends. You could say that this is ‘the tree’ in my life.

I have enjoyed a few picnics along this little stream. Jess! Make your pasta salad again and we will go!

Phew. Less a walk and more of a HIKE.

I was trying to capture the sand storms our feet were creating while walking.

Did there used to be a house there? What the faaaa?

I am going swimming on Sunday! Not here, but somewhere better! So this picture doesn’t make me want to cry with jealousy anymore!

You are lovely, even when you shove a burger in your face.

Look at that fucking creeper in the background. Haha! Naw, he is a nice guy. A nice creepy guy.

Stay tuned! I mean, if you want to see animals butts.

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What a Life

Katherine — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 01:50:39 +0000

And WHAT HAVE WE HERE? No, it’s not a pube, as I am sure all you pervs thought it was. It’s a freaking grey hair! This guy has been living in my bangs for the past year, and I didn’t really mind all that much. You could really only see it when it sliced through your eyeball, blinding you in the sun. But recently, in lieu of certain events, he has made himself known even more. So I killed him. And it was glorious.

Farewell shiny grey man. I won’t miss you. And your friends are not invited to the party. Ever.

This weekend I chose to be lazy. It was supposed to be a cleaning-till-it-sparkles-grocery-shop-mania-work-out-sweat-die weekend. And it was, it was. Just not all spread out like a normal person would do it. Saturday came and went and 8PM hit and I somehow found my energy and we cleaned like maniacs. I worked out like a maniac. I showered like a maniac.

We saved the grocery shopping until Sunday. And then we did that like maniacs too.

So lets talk about today, in all it’s boring gloriousness. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The animals needed to be cooked for. And I was a good animal lover and I cooked them up a big batch of their favourite; ground chicken and sweet potatoes! This has been on the menu for my little guys for the past few years now. They love it.

Oh hey there jerk-offs. I love how you lay around on the table (WHICH IS NOT ALLOWED) while I cook up a storm for you. I feel like they don’t need individual names anymore. Their collective name is GET OFF THE TABLE.

While I am here, I might as well prepare our dinner for tomorrow. Let that sit overnight and get some flava flav!

Assholes food is almost done.

I also cut up a shitload of strawberries. We have taken to eating them on our walk to work. They are awesome when it’s boiling and all you want is a drink of water and then voila! Your Amazingness pulls a giant tub of strawberries out of her bag!

They never fail to impress.

Ok chicken is cooked. Time to drain all the fat. We almost lost one of our guys to liver disease a couple of years ago. But with a home cooked diet, many needles given by yours truly, and forcing food down her throat, we were able to save her. We were told that it was dry food, the fact that she is a timid cat, and the fact that she is fat all added to her getting liver disease. We have cooked this for them ever since.

Look at all that nastiness.

Sweet potatoes need to be steamed and then it’s good to go.

Oh speaking of the fat kitty…there she is. Perfectly healthy now, albeit still a little bit chunky. It’s ok, I like the big girls. I threaten to throw her fat thigh on the barbecue and munch on it when I say that. Then she scratches my face off. HOLY SENSITIVE.

After I did the work of ten in the kitchen, I figured it was time for some ‘me time’. Video games and beer, here I come.

Yes please and thank you.

Don’t mind if I do!

More comfy on the floor. Where I am used to playing video games. I don’t last as long as I did when I was 8-years-old on account of being old, but I still have more fun this way.

HAHA! VIDEO GAME FACE!

Oh right, back to this boring crap. Can you tell I have NO material for my blog today? Just wondering.

Squish, smoosh. Can’t they do this part themselves? God.

The final result. This will feed the three of them for a few days. Pigs.

Vultures.

They have to be separated with their backs to each other. Otherwise war is declared.

Time for outside time!

Need to stretch.

Nice face.

Seriously though, where can I stretch?

Here is great.

Uh yeah it kind of hurt.

Model face stretch pose.

Barf.

Cook me up a burger bitch!

Oh the faces that happen to me.

Full, time to sleep.

GOOD MORNING!

Ok get that camera out of my face!

I hope you all enjoyed my ‘I got nothing’ blog post on this fine evening.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

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The end

Patrick — Fri, 15 May 2009 19:53:14 +0000

Well, folks, I’m sad to say that Toronto City Life is closing it’s doors for good.

The pressures of the workaday world have gotten to me and I have to shutter up the site.

I’d like to thank all those of you who read TCL regularly. Maybe we’ll do this again sometime.

…is what I would have written if I were getting ready to call it a day.

But I’m not.

In fact, between now and the Queen’s birthday on Monday (the old girl’s turning 190 years old!), I’ll be doing some renovations around here. Toronto City Life will be getting a face lift to make it more blog-like. It’ll remove the need to produce a cover image for every post which was proving to be a real bitch to do every day, and hopefully it’ll make things a little more inviting. No more grossly misleading front-page excerpts either!

This will also give me the opportunity to do some much-needed work on the Blogs section. The content on the blog itself shouldn’t change much but to help with the new format I’m going to try enforcing a six-paragraph-or-less rule. I had set this out for myself a while ago but clearly I’ve failed miserably in this up until now. I’ll keep trying.

In any event, this’ll make my life a little easier and, with any luck, make your experience here a little more cheerful. Suicide should no longer be the first thing on your mind after reading my stuff!

Enjoy Vickie’s b-day with ample fireworks and alcohol and I’ll see you again on Tuesday. Unless you live outside of the commonwealth. Who feels silly for wanting independence now, huh?

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A pie for your thoughts

Patrick — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:28:12 +0000

I used to be an angry young man. Now I’m a slightly less angry mid-thirties man.

In the past I would’ve treated a brutal assault on my personal space as an affront to all I held near and dear. These days, an inattentively rude bump by a passing stranger will start me reflecting on how such callous mental vacancy can be made funny. For me.

In my maturity I prefer my satisfaction a little softer, a bit milder, slightly more painfully embarrassing.

I was thinking that an investment in half a dozen banana cream pies and a small card table would do. These would be transported to an ample sidewalk somewhere in the city. A camera operator somewhere on the opposite side would help to make the golden moments last.

I would then hold one pie aloft, flush with oncoming faces and clearly visible to all but the most inattentive of walking puff pastries. (There’s still a need to work out how to best keep the pie intact here, but I have faith in the innovative power of sweet retribution.)

Then I would simply wait, unmoving, timing how long it takes before somebody plants their puss square in the middle of startling, delicious sobriety. Society benefits, I laugh my ass off, and everyone gets a tasty, instructive treat. Just think of the potential!