Councillor Shelley  Carroll tweeted a bunch of quotes from her day today including presentations from MGM Grand casino reps trying to set up shop in Toronto (with much support from Fordo and his bunch), and witticisms from Giorgio Mammoliti’s. These would be hilarious if they didn’t represent the idiocy currently running, sorry, attempting to run Toronto.

MGMGrand representatives: “We function best in an adult oriented town.”

Still listening to deps about Casinos. In 8 yrs, I’ve never seen so many Public Affairs firms represented in this room @ 1 time. And by Public Affairs I mean Lobbyists! Generally when you create REAL JOBS & Community Benefits, you don’t need a Lobbyist.

So I’ve been presented with this glossy, done deal picture book from MGM Grand! http://pic.twitter.com/6qsAXpFH

Who could say no!?! Especially when it’s all up to the Province to wear the controversy! Sassy! http://pic.twitter.com/Gj35J4zf

So Vegas, So Glossy! http://pic.twitter.com/XY21xzFB

So would a casino in Toronto be such a bad idea? The mayor and his slimey buddies don’t seem to think so. Folks in the US would probably say otherwise. But is it really surprising considering who’s supporting this?

Jumpin Jack Mammoliti: We will transfer the funds over to TPS to break up illicit card games.

Jumpin Jack Mammoliti: “If it’s the right decision I’ll vote for it. If it’s the wrong decision I’ll vote for that as well.”

Jumpin Jack Mammoliti: This is not organized crime. This is legalized crime.

Sage words from a man who once said:

When you’re sleeping with a prostitute, you’re probably sleeping with 150 guys at the same time.

Judging by his attitude towards hookers, it only stands to reason that the arse is equally cognizant of how bad a casino would be. Makes one wonder, then, where he gets off pulling 10,000 jobs for single moms out of his ass.

It’s been years since anything like this was attempted and, let’s be honest, this is a survey that all of Toronto has been waiting far too long for. I understand that you, dear reader, may not know the first thing about most, if not all, of these people and that’s perfectly okay. I might suggest that not knowing some of these folks’ backgrounds may make them sexier. The idea here is to be entirely superficial. :)

I think it’ll be fun to leave the poll open until the fall election when all of these faces may change. Perhaps we can correlate the sexiness factor with incumbency.

In the meantime, pick the three sexiest guys and gals (feel free to vote as much as the system will allow), and I’ll try my best to deliver the good news to the winning two offices — one lady, one gent — when the numbers are all in. “Hottest Toronto Councillor 2010” — that’d look nice on a plaque.

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Every now and again, when people learn about what I do (did), they ask me earnestly why I’d choose to stay in Toronto.

Easy to answer: it’s an awesome city. As soon as the right people are at the helm at City Hall, it’ll be truly world-class. In some ways the city is already busting at the seams in this regard, it’s simply the government that keeps reining it in.

Election day is coming and, regardless of this, the city is blooming with construction, flowers, and lovely ladies. And as I’m sure I’ve mentioned, I’ve seen a good selection of cities; enough to know that I haven’t seen nearly enough. Toronto isn’t the cheapest, or the cleanest, or the busiest, or the biggest, but it’s also not the dirtiest, most boring, barren, or small by any means. Any tourists that complain about deficiencies in these areas are, well, tourists. The city’s way bigger than that (have you see how little I’ve covered in TCLand?), and growing by leaps and bounds. Frickin’ jackhammer outside my window right now, in fact.

With so much growth it’s extremely important to keep a steady vision otherwise it could get real messy. Here’s a great example: the new designs recently unveiled for the new north hall of St. Lawrence Market. The market has been around since basically Toronto’s been here but the north hall, which to me resembles a stripped-down school gymnasium, is much newer. On Saturdays local growers truck in their produce and on Sundays it’s an antique market.

I know I’ve probably mentioned this before but I know that many people don’t get a chance to visit that area, so to help you out I’ve taken photos from approximately the same locations as in the literature. That way you can see the before and proposed-after shots.

The design teams for the north hall project are split up into five colours but obviously the orange team is the best. A rooftop garden? Hells yeah!

Anyhow, here they are, winner to be decided by committee. :(

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Oh boy! I finally got my Christmas present from the city of Toronto! Thanks, municipality!

And it’s just what I always wanted too — a brand-spanking new election year! (even the exact colour)

Now, truth be told, I’m a total n00b (a word requiring not one but two zeroes to denote the level of experience), when it comes to municipal politics. I learn a little bit every now and then when a scandal breaks out, but other than that I only know that good old Davie Miller is our mayor until the last week of October. And that candidates are now free to register after which they can start fundraising.

But despite my overall lack of knowledge, this is a great opportunity to dive in headfirst and learn. And pray for muck flinging, name calling, and other assorted hijinx. I sincerely hope that municipal politicking is as kooky as I imagine it is. And in the meantime, I get ten months of increasingly busy campaigning to revert to when my brain goes all mushy for topics. It’s the gift that keeps on giving — even though that’s technically incorrect since people give gifts (could you imagine the horror of gifts giving people?). But it’s the thought that counts. :)

Also, dear reader, you now know as much as I do. Oh, wait, maybe a few more things:

Giorgio Mammoliti (confirmed)
— http://www.facebook.com/people/Giorgio-Mammoliti/532699017
— http://twitter.com/giorgio_4_mayor

Adam “Jammy Jams” Giambrone (potential)
— http://www.adamgiambrone.ca/
— http://twitter.com/Adam_Giambrone

George Smitherman (expected)
— http://www.georgesmitherman.com/
— http://twitter.com/Smitherman2010

John Tory (potential)
— http://www.johntory.ca/
— http://twitter.com/John_Tory

Joe Pantalone (expected)
— http://www.joepantalone.org/
— twitless

Rocco Rossi (confirmed)
— http://www.facebook.com/roccorossi
— http://twitter.com/liberalrocco

Shelley Carroll (potential)
— http://shelleycarroll.ca/
— http://twitter.com/shelleycarroll

That’s the current roster. The “expected” candidates have either quit their day job or stated publicly that they’ll be registering – both pretty strong indicators of intent.

I don’t know much about any of these people. I do know that George Smitherman is gay and looks like a bulldog. Both, I believe, in his favour. I also know that, judging by the state of his website, John Tory is either not planning to run or is keeping his candidacy a big and unnecessary secret (and making some affiliate income to boot):

I also know that Adam Giambrone (pronounced like “jam bony”), is a couple of years my junior and is barely holding the Toronto Transit Commission together as its boss. I shudder to think of him at the city’s helm (no way is he getting the Clearasil budget past council, mark my words).

Giorgio Mammoliti looks like an Italian gangster, so he’s pretty cool. Joe Pantalone has a website that reminds me of Toronto City Life during its first few months, so yuck. Also, he’s really wee. Two strikes; he’d better be a good orator. Rocco Rossi, nice wine, but how are the mayor skills? Shelley Carroll has a pretty slick website with some nice Adobe Flash work – it always makes me a bit suspicious when someone can afford to pay the ridiculous sums that Flash developers extort out of their customers. Come to think of it, “Baby Face” Giambrone has some Flash on his site too. Hmmm.

Okay, so now you know exactly what I know; we’ll both be learning as we go along. The contestants (it’s more fun to think of them this way), are allowed to raise $1.5 million to grease constituents’ palms. Then it’ll be a brutal, bare-knuckle free-for-all; winner gets City Hall and medical attention.

And I get material that writes itself. :D