Posts Tagged ‘ sign ’
It doesn’t get any lower than this
Posted on October 25th, 2015 – Comments Off on It doesn’t get any lower than thisIn fairness, they don’t offer proofreading services…
In real life
Posted on February 4th, 2010 – 20 CommentsAllow me to take you on a linguistic journey unlike any other you’ve ever experienced, dear reader. This one is broad-spectrum dazzle machine, from the choice to capitalize final letterS on arbitrary words, to the repeated insistence that this all happened in real life. You know what? Before I prejudice you too much, have a gander for yourself:
The fuzzy part in the corner I had to destroy – Ron put his date of birth and social insurance number on there. Presumably to assure everyone in the public that he’s the real deal. Identity theft is so easy these days. Of course, perhaps you might not want to steal that identity; Ron doesn’t sound like a social climber.
Now I do want to go on record as saying that one’s family should never Robe one, especially not in real life. I might’ve even tossed Ron a quarter, or whatever it was he was asking for. Or .. did he want me to … disRobe him? Haha! No can do, Ron-o!
But where was our Mr. Loeman? One of his competitors came by blurting out, “…whore…holy shit! What the hell is that?!”, pointing at the placard. The drenched-in-urine smell that wafted around the corner with him snapped be back to my senses – you have to admit, the poster is quite mesmerizing. Sucks you in with it’s particular meter and tone. “I Trying To have them Chared in real life…” – haunting, melodic. Tragic (what with the charring and the whatnot).
But I suddenly noted that no one was hanging around the sign. No sign of Doug anywhere.
Guess he’s just trying to get his message out.
So here you go, Ron. Just keep your Robes on and your nose outta trouble. I’m sure it’ll work out in the end.
But what am I supposed to do with your SIN and DOB?
Portuguese Portents
Posted on August 19th, 2009 – 4 CommentsDo you believe in signs? I mean, warnings of the future? Hints? Stuff like that?
I must admit, I do sometimes peek into the horoscope section of whatever I’m reading just to see what they have to say about my chances for the next day. I never actually follow up to see if there was any shred of accuracy to it afterward, mind you. I just like to be reassured.
I also like to look at the things around me as portents of things to come. Today, for example, I took another route home to try to get some inspiration for this post. And inspired portents I did indeed find:
O — kay. The experience was even creepier because in the back there was a tent with a hunk of cardboard stuck in the front, presumably for privacy. And the whole tent shook rhythmically. Yeah, don’t come a knockin’ rhythmically.
I guess it’s possible something else was going on in the tent. Some kinda art thing. Hehe … yeah, “art“. :D
Papier-mâché items like this (sometimes just limbs), littered the space which also seemed to double as an entrance to some flats in the back. I think. The tent was as wide as the alley so that ended that detour.
Anyway, the sculpture seemed a bit disturbing to me. Kinda like death with an empty name card. As in, anyone’s up for grabs. And then a man’s ass emerged from the tent. Eee!
I hauled.
A few blocks later I looked up and … ?!
Could be some sort of Portuguese decoration? Or maybe … ummm … I need help. Wait a minute! I’m in possession of a semi-functional brain!
Me: “Hey pal, could I trouble you a moment?”
Brain: “The heat … I was gonna go take a nap. Is it important?”
Me: “Totally! Look at that. That’s the second thing that’s reminded me of death today. That one especially because it’s obvious. Is this a warning about death? Our death?”
Brain: “Haha! No. That’s probably someone’s ‘art‘. I mean, look at it! Maybe some viral ad for something, but do you think they nailed this here just for us?”
Me: “Hmmm. Yeah, you have a point.”
Brain: “I mean, the odds of you even seeing this are astronomical. Don’t read too much into it.”
Me: “Thanks, buddy!”
Brain: “No probs.”
And then, across the street from the AGO:
Brain: “Wow. Now this surprised even me.”
Me: “Me too!”
I suppose I could look at it through the Tarot Death card interpretation. It could mean the passing away of a personal epoch, or sometimes parts of oneself. Often this is accompanied with a more positive reading, like this process will give birth to new parts of you that you didn’t know existed. Exciting! Cancerous!
That throws some healthy ambiguity on the fire. So I guess there’s still plenty of room for a reasonable explanation. I just hope that one day I find the people who put these things on the poles; they’ll be the ones with the explanation. That tent guy, well, I’m not going near him again, so we’ll chalk that up to “art” and look no further.
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