The corpse of my last post hadn’t even begun to cool when this morning I heard the TTC telling me over the PA that if I “see something” I should “say something”.

In case you don’t recognize this phrase, it’s a verbatim import of the US’ Department of Homeland Security “Turn Everyone Into Snitches” program.

Yup, that is the official video. It may seem a bit ludicrous, but this morning’s commute message was along these lines. If I see any suspicious packages, I should run to the nearest authority type and shit myself.

It’s so widespread that it’s even being introduced to gentle Vancouverites.

That one almost makes you feel good about saying it, doesn’t it?

Except that it has thus far preceded the type of government paranoia that’s playing out in Ferguson, Missouri right now.

I recall getting a face-full of something similar not too long ago:

Oh I know I was pretty critical of the G20 protesters back then, and I still am.

Walking around with signs and screaming at cops / passers-by does nothing. Breaking stuff even less so. Ooh, you broke a window! Take that, corporations!

As I recall, I’d already had some run-ins with G20 cops (and government) about which I wasn’t altogether happy, so I wasn’t exactly rooting for them. But just as much as I’m not a fan of state violence, I’m also not a fan of non-consensual people violence (if people agree to beat each other up, fine by me).

The problem, as I see it, is the forced, one-sided renunciation of violence while guess who gets the monopoly rights…

Besides, I don’t appreciate that sort of jittery message with my morning coffee.

This, Scarberians, is the brilliant Rob Fod who you allowed to get a hold of your money in order to build his vision of “subways”. Based on the video above, that will probably consist of some species of affordable unicorn covered in some manner of budget-conscious fairy dust that delivers crack cocaine to your front door, all paid for with magical gypsy gold and children’s dreams (that’s tax / fee / rent paying children, of course). This is the guy you handed the decision process to, allowing him to waste and squander what is now approaching a hundred million dollars while repeatedly “explaining” (Ford speak for “lie”), about how he’s actually saving a billion “dollars”.

The best part is how, throughout the entire process, Rob Ford kept all of his promises. Like his constantly-“guaranteed” no tax hikes, or the fact that he has managed to do everything he said he would with no service cuts, just as he promised. And above all that, I admire how honest and forthright Rob Ford and his brother have been with everyone about everything.

Then I recall how this man has given all of Toronto a heartwarming 30-year gift, his carefree attitude to anything and everything else having to do with transit, and his ability to maximize the time and money spent on a project while minimizing its value, and I am left in utter awe and amazement.

Boy, Scarborough, you really done good!

I get the feeling that even the Toronto Sun kinda gets that the latest vote on transit funding isn’t exactly the shining moment that Ford is making it out to be.

Rather than celebrate Ford’s victory, the Sun took the opportunity to attack Karen Stintz, claiming that Ontario Transportation Minister Glen Murray called her a “roadblock” in the process of getting shit done. She says that it won’t be possible to move forward on any less than $1.8 billion, Murray says $1.4 billion is all that’s coming.

This comes after Ford revived the whole subways debate on a wing and a prayer with none of the funding “guarantees” he’s so fond of. It’s critical to note the $8.2 billion in transit funding under the Transit City project that Ford summarily, and probably illegally, dismissed as his very first act of destruction at City Hall (but only after voting in favour of it first, of course).

If Stintz is a “roadblock” simply for saying that the city will need more funding, what does that make Rob Ford?

Not that it’ll matter much in the long run, because the results of the various votes on the issue leave even more room for the whole thing to fail. Essentially, Council voted to keep any new taxes out of the equation; even Ford’s latest in a series of attempts at raising taxes was rebuffed. They also voted to make the whole thing hang on the $1.8 billion number that Stintz put forward (I guess that makes them all, including the Fords, “roadblocks”).

So those goals are a bit lofty for starters. But then Council voted on having a funding commitment by September 30th, so far with no business case or any real proposals beyond this (which I tiefed from the National Post):

As you can see, the proposed subway has less than half the stops of the LRT plan with a not-so-small distance between stops on the underground route which would be subject to the same problems that the system has thus far experienced and will continue to be a victim to.

It’s not realistic to believe that the sections of the city where subways will be built won’t be shut down for safety reasons, so in terms of inconvenience, they wouldn’t be any better for pedestrians or commuters. And that will be the situation for about 5 years with the LRT, compared to an optimistic 10 years for subways.

Once built, the LRT will be within walking distance of roughly twice as many people as the nearest subway stop. Yes, there are some perks, such as a larger overall passenger capacity of the subway over light rail, but that won’t become an issue for some time; both systems are expected to be running, at peak times, half to less-than-half empty by 2031.

So no, subways are not the best option given what we know (and have known for some time).

Not that it really matters —  neither the LRT or subways may ever see the light of day. There was, at one time, a viable and ready-to-go plan called Transit City, but before anyone had a chance to stick a shovel in the ground, Rob Ford summarily cancelled it and started in on this insane death spiral that the TTC is now in.

The numbers aren’t adding up, the only plan thus far has consisted of publicly blubbering rhetoric about partnerships, and now we have these extra conditions that imperil even the tenuous and ephemeral concept of subways. And all this just for Scarborough … no discussions about upgrading or maintaining the rest of the system which by 2031, is believed will require passengers to fight to the death for a seat on severely overcrowded and, thanks to Ford, extra pricey trains.

I usually walk to and from the office, but yesterday’s touch of rain made me alter my regular plans.

The longest part of the trip was getting out of the subway station, but that might’ve been more tolerable had it not been for the special TTC constables who were not only not attempting to direct the flow of ever-growing foot traffic, but were actually misdirecting people and spreading false stories.

“Union Station is completely shut down, people! Nothing’s running! Nothing! The entire city is shut down, no one has any power, so no one’s going anywhere! Everything’s flooded!”

Luckily the incredulous crowd had their own plans to get to wherever they were going and only wanted facts, which they soon realized they would not get from the “authorities”, each of which had their own version of events.

Even Ford couldn’t help but fan the flames of panic:

“Toronto has persevered; we have weathered the storm,” Ford said, before stressing the need to reduce electricity consumption over the next 24 hours.

“This is crucial that we all reduce our electricity for today to help relieve the strain on our hydro system. We’re hanging on by a thread right now,” he said.

Holy shit! Toronto’s about to go under!

IT’S TIME TO PANIC, PEOPLE!

The title of this post takes some liberties with Councillor Jaye Robinson’s comments on being fired from Rob Ford’s Executive Committee, but it’s not far off the mark:

“…it’s unfortunate that the mayor didn’t have the fortitude to tell me to my face that I’ve been removed from executive. I’ve been given no reasons. This is not a mid-term shuffle, this is not a normal time to shift and make adjustments to your cabinet.”

Convicted criminal and known public liar Ford responded with his typical “everything’s fine!”-style comment while taking the opportunity to imply that Robinson is the one lying, this despite the fact that this is the 19th person to abandon Ford Nation. That is, if you don’t include the now-demoted Paul Ainslie, the vitriol the Fords hurl at Karen Stintz, or the ignominiously fired Gary Webster.

Ford’s Club for Sycophants, now that Robinson is gone, is now a proper old boys’ club:

He did manage to kill the bike lockers, so that probably left old Robbie emboldened to try yet another City Hall renovation change. This time around he wanted to make the pool in front of City Hall a wading pool. But that didn’t entirely go over.

On the bright side, Rob called yesterday’s TTC transit debate defeat (or almost) “one of the greatest days in Toronto history”. A city stuck in gridlock, a fool for a mayor, and no way to fund transit — that’s a grand day indeed!

Doug Ford didn’t like that TTC Chair Karen Stintz had some things to say about streetcars while visiting Cincinnati:

“She’s making it sound like everyone in Toronto loves streetcars. That’s how she’s making it sound, that everyone is Gung ho and it is the total opposite. The mayor won with a clear mandate from the people of Toronto to build subways and she’s gone, in my opinion, and sold a bill of goods that is inaccurate in my opinion.”

Of course, Dougie is fully entitled to his opinion, but based on the abject failures that comprise his own brother’s travels  (still waiting on all those Chicago jobs!), you’d think he might temper his criticism a bit.

But then again, these are the Fords we’re talking about and they aren’t really about “subways, subways, subways!”, or “casino, casino, casino!”, they’re about getting and retaining flunkies who will toe their line on any old issue they pull out of their ass. And, being the Fords, the naturally believe that women make the most natural and passive of subservient flunkies.

That’s not just the vitriol they hurl at Karen Stintz that tells me that; Lauren Strapagiel of Canada.com recently took up Robbie’s offer to teach her (and all women), about politics, as did Lisa Kirbie who not only received a response, but was kind enough to record it for posterity.

The über-brief, late-evening, and mostly one-sided conversation comprised of Ford advising Kirbie to get her name on the ballot, and at that time he’d give her more advice. In other words, make sure you’re running against Ford — become his opponent — and he will advise you on how best to defeat him.

Maybe I’m reading a bit between the lines here, but I’m getting the nagging feeling that the Ford brothers think that we’re all complete idiots (and extra on you ladies!)