To claim that certain right-wing Toronto Councillors are criminals is no longer a question, certainly not when they come right and admit it.

Giorgio Mamolitti has now shown utmost contempt for the democratic process, the law, common sense, and everything else he has sworn to uphold as a Toronto Councillor and has now publicly stated that he will do everything he can, including breaking the law, in order to prevent the democratically decided-upon plan to build LRTs.

This goes way beyond the mere infantile screaming and pounding of fists of the kind that Ford is doing, and even beyond the wholesale contempt that the Ford gang are showing for democracy and any semblance of common sense. I mean, it was bad enough that Fordo voted for Transit City, then illegally cancelled it when taking power, and then got all huffy and puffy trying to have it reinstated while simultaneously slagging the original plan. What that demonstrated was that Rob Ford’s plan was all about doing things his way and his way only.

That was bad enough.

It was worse that at the eleventh hour, the idiots Ford depended on other Councillors to put forward bullshit funding proposals, no doubt because such ideas went directly against each end every election promise that His Engorgedness made, and all because they had absolutely no plan, no backers, and no clue to back up their subway plan. They couldn’t even pull some ideas of the Transit City plan that Fordo killed, presumably because he can’t read.

And despite months of lies and rhetoric, none of Ford’s imaginary backroom deals with developers and his “public-private partnership funding” ever materialized, despite His Portliness vowing to do “whatever it takes” to win over opinions. I guess “whatever it takes” means “absolutely nothing”, and certainly with no basis in reality. In fact, to this date Ford has not managed to produce a single voice of support except for his Council lapdogs and his scumbag buddies at the Toronto Taxpayers Coalition who regularly take to telling anyone with any contrary ideas to “fuck off” and not-so-subtle threats of cutting off of heads — my own personal experience and certainly not preceded with any similar abuse. All 30 or so of them, clearly a fair and accurate representation of all “Toronto taxpayers” (a designation which, according to them, no one else belongs to).

Then Fatty and his cadre of myopic morons resorted to threatening various levels of government with his non-existent “Ford Nation” (more than once), which, of course, turned out to be just more unadulterated bullshit and hot air, while always taking the time to blame everyone but the overweight master for a complete inability to get anything done at City Hall. Clearly no other mayor ever got anything done, so that’s a fair argument, and Ford’s tenure as a Councillor of 10 years means he couldn’t possibly have an idea of how anything works. Yeah, they actually believe and defend this!

If this wasn’t bad enough, Ford fired the chief general manager of the Toronto Transit Commission for, literally, telling the truth and stating that he thought, in his professional opinion and many years on the job, that LRTs were simply the better choice given all the circumstances, all in a weaselly move hastily pulled behind the back of the chair of the Toronto Transit Commission while she was on vacation.

All of this nonsense, including Ford’s insistence on removing revenue sources like the relatively tiny Vehicle Registration Tax (saving the taxpayer a whopping $0.16 per day), or removing bicycle lanes on Jarvis Street, or the firing of Gary Webster, have easily and at the very least doubled the deficit that Ford vowed with haughty huffs and fat-stifled breaths to get rid of during his election campaign which, of course, he blamed on the preceding administration but which he clearly pulled straight of his voluminous ass.

No, that’s not all bad enough; now ass-licking minion Mammoliti has vowed that despite all of this, he is not only willing to stand behind his puffy master (a dangerous place to be in any event), but has openly and publicly stated that he, like Rob Ford, doesn’t give a shit about what the democratic majority decided, and is in fact willing to break the law in order to get what he wants. Why? Because his constituents (none of which have materialized, of course), have told him this. No doubt just like Rob Ford’s multitudes of subway supporters, which numerous media outlets have substantiated (to be a complete lie).

Folks, it’s become increasingly obvious what’s going on here: we have a handful of Councillors who are attempting to illegally usurp power at City Hall and destroy the democratic process in order to push their dystopian vision of a corporate-run, Fascist (the most correct and apt adjective), city that they rule over like the bloated autocrats they believe themselves to be (do any of their actions say otherwise?). They’ve demonstrated time and time again that even when they outwardly claim to care about the opinions of citizens, they really don’t — just watch a few hours of the budget depositions of 2011 and see how many time Ford walks out and Mammoliti screams and shouts about how he’s being offended and how people need to listen to him.

We have a responsibility to keep these people in check and, should the time come, we have the power of citizens’ arrest specifically to address times when corruption has overrun our institutions, not to mention the moral responsibility to stand up and defend the highest laws of the land. I’m not suggesting braking the law or going against the authority of the police — in fact, my vehement hope is that the law applies equally to everyone and that justice is also served equally. But should that fail, we musn’t allow our democracy to be overrun by admitted criminals; that itself is a crime.

Well, and now I’m feeling pretty good about telling Rob Ford, FUCK YOU too.

In case you hadn’t heard, fatty Ford and his gang of five Yes Men voted, in a hasty meeting thrown together while the TTC chair was on vacation, to fire Gary Webster, the TTC’s General Manager. Webster’s crime? Cutting back costs exactly as the mayor asked. Oh yeah, and providing an honest, professional report to both the mayor and Council (as reported on Goldhawk Live, Tuesday, February 21, 2012), about why Light Rail Transit makes more sense than subways in this city.

The mayor repressed this report until it was leaked to The Star, then moved to have it made “irrelevant” (revealed in the same Goldhawk episode), when presented to Council. Council voted in favour LRTs based on this advice (though I thought I heard about some subways in there too), which was obviously way too democractic and balanced for his Rotundness (by the way, it’s not “fatophobic” to call jerks like this exactly what they are, deal with it).

Well heaven forbid we should have experienced public servants give us honest and professional opinions on which direction to go in!

The little mayoral weasel, along with all of his little greasy buddies (there are only five people, six if you count his presstitute, cowardly enough to suck on Ford’s unmentionables), under the weakest premise of “subways were Rob Ford’s mandate!“, decided then that they would just do the most slimy, underhanded, dictatorial, undemocratic thing they could, called together that meeting, and fired Webster.

Webster ended up with roughly two years’ salary after decades of service. I’m not too worried about him — even Rob Ford had to concede that Webster “has served Toronto and the TTC well in his years of service.  He was an important element in the organization’s many successes to date and can proudly point to a list of accomplishments.” So, yeah, thanks for all your hard work and dedication, Webster, now fuck off because we need “change” (even though we have no replacement, i.e. a plan). Your “pal”, Rob Ford.

Well, if Webster can get fired for doing his job, why not Rob Ford and his cadre of grovelling dogs? Thankfully, I’m not the only one with that idea. And by the way, Ford and his buddies are snorting some serious white stuff if they continue the claim that subways were even a small part of his mandate. Here’s RoFo’s entire platform, as mercifully preserved on the WayBack Machine (http://web.archive.org/web/20100830155611/http://www.robfordformayor.ca/issues/). See if you can find the word “subway” anywhere in here:

Rob Ford on the Issues

Stopping the Waste and Getting Spending Under Control

Toronto has a spending problem, not a revenue problem.

The City of Toronto’s budget has ballooned from $5.9 billion in 2000 to $9.2 billion in 2010 – plus a $2.4 billion capital budget.  The City is addicted to spending and the most important job for the incoming Mayor will be to get the City’s finances in order.

Downsize Council from 44 to 22 Councillors.

Toronto has 22 MPs, 22 MPPs and 22 School Trustees.  It only needs 22 City Councilors. Reducing Toronto City Council would make meetings more productive and save taxpayers about $9 million in direct costs (salary, benefits, expense accounts and staffing budgets.) Additional savings from a reduced burden on City Hall staff would equal at least $6 million each year.  There are too many politicians and not enough accountability.

Reduce Politicians’ Expense Accounts.

In addition to their salary of about $100,000 each Councillor receives a budget of $205,000 to hire staff plus a tax-free allowance of $53,100 for “other expenses.”  This budget is what Kyle Rae famously used to throw himself a $12,000 party with your money.

When Rob Ford is Mayor, he will reduce the politicians’ expense accounts to $30,000 (saving over $1 million per year) so that tax dollars are spent only on legitimate purposes.

Limiting the Mayor’s Office Budget.

Leadership starts at the top.  When Rob Ford is Mayor, he will also limit the expense accounts for the Mayor’s Office.  Decreasing the staffing and expenses budget by 20 percent will save the taxpayers about $512,000 per year.

Making Toronto a Better Place to Live

City Hall has been too focused on the pet projects and perks of politicians and not on the fundamental services that people, families and businesses rely on every day.  These essential services are necessary to make Toronto a more livable city.  As Mayor, Rob Ford will take the following necessary steps to make Toronto a better place to live:

Protecting Our Children and Communities.

100 additional frontline police officers will be hired giving Toronto Police enough new officers to:

o    Protect Children in Schools.  30 additional School Resource Officers will double the number of schools protected by this successful program. By introducing police officers to youth in a positive environment, students are less likely to take a negative view of police and more likely to seek help for issues before they reach a violent stage.

o    Target Gangs, Guns & Violence in More Communities.  70 additional frontline officers will support an expansion of the successful Toronto Anti-Violence Intervention Strategy (TAVIS) targeting gangs and violence in priority neighborhoods year-round.  This will more than double the number of officers currently available for TAVIS Rapid Response Teams.

Funding for this initiative ($15 million per year) will not be taken from within the existing TPS budget.  It represents additional funding in two phases.  From 2014 onwards, funding will be in addition to current TPS resources and come from savings accrued through the reduction of City Council from 44 to 22 Councillors.  Until Council is reduced in size, funding will be in addition to current TPS resources and come from a 0.1 per cent reduction in other (non-policing) city spending.

Making Garbage Collection Reliable.

Garbage and other solid wastes must be collected on schedule, without fail.  The strike during the summer of 2009 put the health of people and families in Toronto at risk.

The City must put in place solutions to make waste collection reliable and affordable.  Etobicoke, for example, uses contracted providers and saves the city $2 million each year.  By adopting the same approach for the whole city, taxpayers will save about $20 million each year and can have the confidence their garbage collectors won’t go on unnecessary strikes.

When Rob Ford is Mayor, the City will invite competitive tenders from private companies as well as current unions to provide collection services that are reliable, affordable and represent the best value for Toronto taxpayers.

Making the TTC an Essential Service.

People and businesses in Toronto depend on the TTC to get them from home to work, or school.  When the TTC isn’t running, the city grinds to a halt and commuters and businesses suffer.  TTC service is essential and it must be designated this way in order to prevent costly strikes.

When Rob Ford is Mayor, the City will work with the TTC and its unions to create a reliable, affordable, convenient, rapid and customer-focused transit service that Toronto can take pride in.

Improving Customer Service at City Hall.

Poor customer service frustrates city residents and businesses.  Too often, emails are ignored, telephone calls are not returned, staff are unable to answer questions or help solve issues.

Excellent customer service doesn’t cost a thing.  All it takes is leadership and accountability, and that starts at the top.

When Rob Ford is Mayor, excellent customer service will be the standard for all City Hall employees.

Eliminating Unncessary Taxes

Abolish the Vehicle Registration Tax.

Toronto residents should not have to pay $60 every year to register their vehicle.  It’s an unfair cash grab that hits families hard.  Rob Ford will push to eliminate the Vehicle Registration Tax at the first City Council meeting after becoming Mayor.

Eliminate the Land Transfer Tax.

People who buy and sell homes in Toronto must pay a new Land Transfer Tax to City Hall on top of all the other charges associated with buying or selling a home.  This punishes people and families who live in Toronto and makes the city less affordable for many people.  This tax is driving business, families, and people away from Toronto.  Rob Ford will move to abolish the Land Transfer Tax in his first year as Mayor.

Notes for an Address by Rob Ford 26 March 2010

News of Gary Webster’s potential demise as Chief General Manager of the TTC isn’t exactly hidden knowledge, nor is the fact that Rob Ford’s decision to suppress Webster’s report for a year (presumably because he didn’t like what was in it), but Torontoist does an excellent job of explaining not only why civil servants of Webster’s experience are so necessary, but why this whole thing is going down like a pile of rotten trash. I’d say this was another blemish on Rob Ford if he wasn’t already so covered over.

For you sycophant “taxpayers” out there, Webster’s departure is likely to cost you all a cool half a mill. And if Ford continues then Stintz is likely his next target, probably having had a change of heart since her stint on Undercover Boss where she interacted with real people — how much will that cost your cold pragmatic asses?

September 2010: Rob Ford vows to get rid of Toronto’s streetcars in favour of more cars on the road.
October 2010: Rob Ford says maybe he won’t get rid of the streetcars after all.
January 2012: Rob Ford wants to use budget surplus to buy new streetcars.

It’s interesting to point out that Ford’s contention was never the cost of streetcars, which would’ve been the one good reason for him to flip-flop like this (“we can do it now that we’ve magically found more money in the budget!”). Instead, it was an ideological stand against public transit and bicycles in favour of cars.

I’m glad that the mayor is reneging — this city needs way more reliable (and affordable!) transit, not cars on the road; more wheels on the pavement doesn’t solve Toronto’s gridlock, after all. But I can’t help but wonder how his supporters must be feeling watching him slowly chip away at pretty much every pledge and campaign promise he made. I wouldn’t be too pleased about it if I’d voted for him, that’s for sure.

The battle started ten months ago with seven contenders. By April there were twenty-six sluggers of varying degrees of viability in the ring. Then came the fisticuffs.

Some suffered, I believe, from a simple lack of exposure, which to me translates as a lack of experience. Others put up a pretty good fight but had to concede defeat. Notables include:

Adam Giambrone – Finishing his term as head of Toronto’s Transit Commission and toppled over a sex scandal in February. I didn’t lose any sleep over it. Plus, Jammers is what, like, 18? He’s got plenty of politics ahead of him if he wants to stay in the game.

Giorgio Mammoliti – Had a bit of momentum but in July decided he’d rather try to stay on as a Toronto Councillor for his current ward. No mistaking Giorgio as being anything but 100% bona fide Ai-talian, but I guess it takes more than that these days. I don’t think he even has any mob connections.

Sarah Thompson – Strangely, not yet on the list of mayoral casualties, but Sarah gets an extra star next to her name for being the feisty (previously unknown) newcomer who demonstrated she could play with the big kids. She hung in for quite a while before throwing in the towel about a month ago and joining forces with George Smitherman. She’s a self-made businesswoman and has her own magazine — I think she’ll be fine.

Rocco Rossi – The man with the million-dollar smile is also not on the drop-out list but this was only a couple of weeks ago (the paperwork to update a government website probably takes as long). Rocco was the ringleader behind John Tory’s campaign — the one other man who might’ve broken through in this selection had he chosen to run. Unfortunately, Rocco’s beaming smile and charisma didn’t carry him through and he left quietly without endorsing anyone else.

As many people expected, the race was mostly just casual mud flinging until September or so when the media got in high-gear. Then it was one debate and town hall after another, none of which I attended. To be honest, I think the websites of the top three candidates should be enough, though trying to make out the candidates hollering over each other has its charm.

George Smitherman

When this all started I mentioned that George, “is gay and looks like a bulldog. Both, I believe, in his favour.” I still expect that he’ll probably win although I’m not convinced I’ll be ticking off his name. Some of his key promises include:

• 100-day tax, hiring, spending freeze while the city budget is re-evaluated. Sounds kinda nice but I sure hope nothing happens during those 100 days that might require hiring or spending. And, let’s face it, 100 days later, we might all be paying even more.
• Fair tenant taxes. Apparently I pay more in property taxes through my rent than a homeowner — who knew? However, the $50 / year savings isn’t making me pee myself with excitement.
• Transit. Everyone loves this issue — for a city the size of Toronto, we are pretty damn far behind when it comes to public transit. We only have 3 main subway lines and most of our subway cars / streetcars are antiques. On top of this, streetcars take up literally 50% of the roads downtown but the roads can’t be expanded — we’ve got light rail-infrastructure but not enough room. George wants to phase in updates over 10 years starting with getting transit going along the lake shore for the Pan Am Games in 2015. After that he wants to start construction on East-West lines in the north and update the Scarborough LRT (an eastern extension to the Bloor Subway line). Generally speaking, I’m not against this idea, but it seems incredibly wasteful to essentially scrap Transit City.
• Creating about 500 jobs through an Economic Ambassador program and prodding businesses to hire locally. Most of the city’s  financial troubles will be addressed through attrition (not replacing people who retire), and by combining fire and emergency services. Electricity provider Toronto Hydro would stay in public hands. Sounds long and tedious, possibly necessary.

Rob Ford

Rob has been so easy to criticize during this campaign. He’s well known for making off-colour public remarks and sticking his foot into his mouth on a regular basis. I don’t think he’s a bad guy, he’s just not very diplomatic. The beefy football coach’s campaign was managed by his brother (not dissimilar in many ways), and was unsurprisingly dotted with all manner of scandal and accusation. Still, Rob weathered the storm and he’s neck-and-neck with George; most polls agree it could easily go either way today.

Some of what Rob says he’ll do includes:

• Cut City Hall. Just generally, cut it. Rob’s “stop the gravy train” message resonates with many people who think politicians have been getting a free ride for too long. Councillors like Sandra Bussin, who think nothing of making anonymous phone calls to radio stations, Paula Fletcher who screams down opposition, or my own ward’s now-retired Kyle Rae who probably shouldn’t have thrown himself a $12,000 going-away party, have really helped to cement Rob’s line. While I like the rigour with which Rob approaches this, and cutting back City Hall is just a good idea anyway, most of the plan seems way too small to make a significant difference. Good try, Rob, but you need to think bigger!
• Make the TTC an essential service. Right now transit can be shut down by a strike, something that wouldn’t happen if it was designated to be essential. Mostly, though, Rob wants to end the “war on cars” he says is being perpetrated by the city so it’s obvious where his heart lies on this issue. Incredibly myopic and with few details. Sorry, Rob, another miss.
• Eliminate Land Transfer and Vehicle Registration Taxes. Obviously this one’s for the burbs. Good on Rob for reaching out but I’m feeling a bit left out here. No love, Rob, no love.
• Consider privatizing garbage collection. After last year’s strike, this is certainly something to consider. But I’m starting to sense a bit of a theme here…garbage strike pissed people off, traffic pisses people off, City Hall spending pisses people off, etc. While I’d be happy to see these things addressed, this is definitely reactionary politics; I don’t see a long-term plan here.

Joe Pantalone

If you didn’t know Joey Pants before, you do now. If nothing else can be said about this dimunitive Deputy Mayor, he’s the most eminently qualified — he’s almost mayor now. However, and perhaps because of his height, Joe’s had to jump up and down and wave twice as hard as anyone else just to be heard.

Even though the chances of him becoming mayor are slim at this point, you gotta give the little guy credit for hanging in there; only he and George stayed on for the full ten months. Plus, everything I’ve heard about him indicates he’s genuinely a nice guy with a good head for this sort of thing. He just falls below the radar, that’s all.

Here’s what Joe promises our fair city if he’s elected:

• Improved transit and everyone’s welcome on the roads. Of all the candidates, Joe has the most complete plans I’ve seen (and fanciest Powerpoint slides too). In this area he’s taking the sanest most middle-of-the-road approach, but puts most of his weight behind bikes (rentals, better lanes, etc.), and public transit. He’s a fan of Transit City, the big plan put in place by current Mayor Miller to expand transit both out of town and fix what we have here. If you ask me, this is the most sensible approach — Transit City is already underway and the plan extends out to all of Toronto. Tearing it down and starting something new would be a massive waste.
• Reducing poverty and homelessness. Again, Joe has solid numbers he wants to see year over year, including building of new affordable housing units, finding housing for homeless people, and so on. I have no idea if any of these numbers are realistic but I’m thinking that Joe probably had a pretty good idea by now.
• Predictable taxes and fare increases. No promises of tax reductions here, just that tax and fare increases should be transparent and predictable. Joe wants Community Councils to run their own budgets while pushing some provincial service costs to the province. Currently, they say how stuff gets run but we in the city pay for it. How the hell did that happen?!
• Sustainable / environment initiatives. Pantalone’s got a green thumb, it seems. He’s one of the few candidates mentioning this topic and is demonstrating that he’s both a tie-dyed hippie and a bleeding heart. Besides investing in so-called green programs, Pantalone also want the city to get more involved in food production, increase support services for women, children, and families, and he’s got a whole section on helping out the elderly.
• Support diversity and youth, and tackle bed bugs. Generic, general, and really? Joe’s not the only candidate to mention bed bugs but news on this has been fairly sparse lately — and you know media love bed bug stories. Well, here’s the deal, I don’t have bed bugs and I didn’t see any mention of rent reductions so that about does it for me.

I don’t believe in the throw-away, lesser-of-evils, vote-by-fear approach. Anyone who trudges out that old pony should quickly be reminded that a minority win is just as significant on the make up of City Hall. Or Parliament. Or whatever. We should vote for the best candidate even if they’re a long-shot.

In another four years we’ll be doing this again so that little bit of support could make the difference next time around. And it’s note-worthy to point out that City Hall isn’t just the mayor, there are 44 Councillors representing the various wards of this sprawling metropolis, and they all get a vote just like the Mayor. Plus, the Council vote is just as crucial; it’s traditionally been the Councillors that have been the biggest dicks at City Hall.

…continued from previous part.

Okay, it’s now been well over two weeks and I’m just about ready to put this puppy to bed.

But before I do, let me round out the G20 weekend for you, dear reader. Let’s start with the Black Bloc, the attention whores of the summit.  While I was trying to figure out who they are and where they came from, a few glaringly obvious pieces of evidence jumped out at me with a, “zut alors!”

… Continue Reading

Newstalk 1010 is starting to grow on me again.

The downtown AM radio station was part of my regular morning schedule. I’d wake up, shove an energy drink into my face, and get good and worked up to Bill Carroll’s latest rant.

As the weekday morning guy, Bill was on top of local topics before most people, and he’d always deliver them with an abundance of vociferous opinion. Sometimes he’d be so wrong that I’d have to stand up in protest. At other times Bill would say something so accurate and poignant that I’d have to rise in support. Either way I’d be out of bed and into my day with a tank full of caffeine and indignation.

… Continue Reading

I came in to work today at about nine fifty. I admit, that’s a bit of a record for me, but that would’ve been a no-no in the past. It’s not that I’m there to do any less work, it’s just that my brain isn’t really engaged at that point in the morning — I work better later in the day. Caffeine really isn’t doing it for me anymore; the brain is still a slug even though the body’s on the move. Taking her out for a spin like that, that’s just reckless.

But I was one of the first few people in the office. Wow.  Different time schedule. I feel like a bit of a brownnoser right now. Totally unintended though, I swear. But still. Wow.

It’s the past that allows us to cherish moments such as these. The past, who recently requested that I fork over the difference for the “overpayment” on my final paycheque. In fact, I got paid less than usual. I expected less, but I most certainly didn’t get more. *sigh* Why can’t the past just go to hell already?

I’ll tell you why – it’s the battle scars we have to bear with us. Mementos to remind us that comparisons may indeed be made. And of course, nothing’s perfect, but one must also be sure to look around and note one’s blessings. Like not walking away with a chafed anus every day. That’s a nice feeling.

And being reminded of the past is instrumental in helping judge not only present but also future prospects. Take Adam “Jammie-Jams” Giambrone; the baby-faced newcomer to the Toronto mayoral race. I didn’t think it was possible to demonstrate that he has any less personality, but Jammers just turned that assumption on its ear. Here’s Jammie-Jam’s announcement he was going to run:

He’s well known for entering politics at a very young age. See? That’s what happens when you do it too young. You end up a humourless log. For a young guy, you think he’d be able to pull a little charm out of his ass, but it seems he’s plum out.

Poor kid. He even foreshadowed his own downfall at his own I’m-loud-and-I’m-proud event:

I like when he talks about learning lessons from the past to build the city of the future. Holy cow! Wasn’t it, like, just yesterday that another kooky decision by the TTC was uncovered? The one about the buses that have to sit idling outside because some Swedish-made system to keep them warm and ready doesn’t operate well in extremely cold temperatures. (GAH! Isn’t that exactly when it needs to work well?!) I only mention this because it could be any one of the dozens of boondoggles and genuine fuck-ups that Jammers is responsible for. He does, after all, run the TTC.

Wow, I mean, if by some miracle Jammie should get elected, that would necessitate me having to redraw my plans for the future. To something more apocalypsy. I’m sure it won’t happen, but let’s just make sure by not forgetting yesterday’s decimated fields of dreams. Trampled on by Jam-master Giambronay. And when I say yesterday, I mean literally yesterday.

Damn, my anus hasn’t even begun to heal yet. Have they no shame?!

Wikkidi wikkidi wikkidi wack.

I’ma be blunt, if I may. Ashley and Madison are assholes. Nope, no link, and this is the only time I use their wretched name – from now on it’s AM, with spit on it. There, I’ve said it, it’s out in the open. The way it should be.

You know what this company does? They are a service that promotes marital infidelity. Cheating. No, not a dating service that happens to have a lot of married people, they exist specifically to help people cheat. Their slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair.”

And they’re assholes.

My idea of a relationship is pretty free-wheeling. Gay? Fine by me. Bi? A-okay. Swinger? Keep on swingin’! Miscellaneous? Please use my contact form. But an affair, that’s just simple lying. It’s deceptive, cowardly, and a big middle finger to the one you’re with. If you wanna fuck around, have the balls to say it. It won’t get easier with time, and you’re wasting the rest of your life if that’s what you really want. Maybe it’s just time to saddle up and ride off into the sunset, you know? ;)

And AM, they’re the assholes helping people to be cowardly liars. It don’ git no plainer ‘n that.

Okay, but I really wouldn’t give a shit about them except that lately they’ve been pushing the TTC to decal two of their streetcars with AM ads (the whole things – a full wrap), even getting cocky enough to begin offering discounted fares to anyone taking their streetcars — before the ad was even approved. The Commission wasn’t too sure about it (as well they shouldn’t), and turned it over to a committee who finally gave it the thumbs down. *applause*

Unfortunately, AM decided to kick back with threat of court saying that this is impinging on their freedom of speech. Cockswaddle. An affair is grounds for divorce – in the eyes of the law, it’s wrong. Therefore, to condone an affair (directly) is to condone something that the law states is wrong. Hence, if the TTC were to allow this, they would be challenging this rather embedded legal precedent. What, for getting to whore out two streetcars? Bitch, puh-leeze!

I’d slap AM’s ass to the curb faster than you can say Q.E.D. Where do they get off, pushing the Commission around? You know, I’m not always a fan of transit, and even though there’s a tonne wrong with it, I’d rather it showed some integrity and backbone rather than put it’s ass in the air and grease up. Once again, *applause*.

Joe Mihevc, second in command to the TTC chairman — who is ideally the most impartial and level-headed person in the room — responded to AM’s threat with “We’re ready to defend our right to determine what ads go onto our brand as the TTC.” Oh yeah – I almost forgot; the TTC is a business and they have a brand image to protect. Ding ding … and in this corner … the TTC’s gonna kick your ass!

Wow, our little Red Rocket’s balls grew two sizes today! I can’t tell you how proud I am.

And as regards lying, well, I do it all the time. Lots of different ways and, sometimes, quite enjoy it. But generally not at someone’s expense, and especially not at my own. Words of wisdom, biatch!

PEACE!!

I’m out.

Wednesday mornings are always a bit tenuous, aren’t they? Technically they’re at the foot of the hump, but you still have a few hours just to get there. Only then you can start the countdown, and the drinking really can’t even properly start until much later. Wednesday mornings are the stale farts of the week.

Luckily, there are always a few interesting things that I pass on my way to the next eight hours of numbing anguish – things that punctuate the doom as if to suggest that, maybe, there is hope. There’s the very real possibility that I’m simply reading too much into them, but I need all the straws I can grasp onto these days. Especially on Wednesday mornings.

On this particular mid-week sulk I trudged up behind Cam Woolley who, along with his CP24 cameraman, were making googly eyes at Maple Leaf Gardens across the street:

They were there to do a report on the deal that the Loblaw supermarket chain and Ryerson University made to finally do something with the Gardens. The place has been on ice for years, and aside from a TV show that was shot there, it really only served as cover for a late-night whiz. With a shot of cash from the feds, Ryerson’s going to make the place into an athletics building (the campus is made up mostly of acquired buildings downtown), and Loblaw’s going to stick a supermarket in there. Big shock on that one.

Despite being an atypically traitorous Canuck who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about hockey, I will once again go on record as saying that this is a travesty. As a Ryerson sports hall, the Gardens building is fine, but as a supermarket … jeez, eh? The thing was built in the style of a Depression era nuclear war bunker. It’s designed for large, rowdy crowds with boozy cognition. The building even had a bowling alley somewhere on the upper level when it was first built – during those days people loved to roll their great big balls around while watching the boys work their sticks below. Ahh, the thirties. So the building can withstand a beating, but it ain’t pretty:

That feeling of being entombed in concrete will certainly give the grocery store an ambiance. And the urine, the beery urine, that’s still embedded in the crevices of every darkened corner of the building. I wouldn’t like to have that nearby as I test melons.

But hey, maybe they’ll make it work somehow; beer carts and such. A tipple for the little ones and shopping’s a-okay again. And perhaps, once a thriftapenny always a sober jerk, as the old saying goes, so I think the idea has some merit. Why would they make up a saying like that if it was wrong or meaningless?

I kept mulling over the possibilities as I walked past the Gardens and down into Carlton Station. There was a notice bearing some bad news in the vicinity but this, dear reader, I’ll have to share another time because Wednesday’s just a little too incongruous already to toss that into the mix. There are better coping days.

I simply continued on to the ticket booth.

“Ten tokens please.”

“All out.”

“Really? I could buy less, I just need a few.”

“Really, all out. We have tickets though.”

“Paper tickets?”

“Paper tickets.”

Holy shit :D I hadn’t held a paper TTC ticket in my sweaty hand since I was in high school. They were smaller then and had a different motif, but the obvious ease with which they could be reproduced made them targets for amateur counterfeiters. Or aspiring amateur counterfeiters. And then I discovered these things’ll be valid until the beginning of next year — all the makings of a scheme! :)

Okay, Wednesday, it’s a good start. But we gotta do something about that hump, it’s just unsightly.