War on Trash: Day 36

Posted on July 27th, 2009 8 great comments. Room for one more!

yeah, i get the internet on these things Oliver had that smug, knowing look on his face this morning. It suggested that maybe I turn on the radio and get an update on the War.

I flipped over to CFRB where it’s guaranteed that even on the slowest of news days, someone will be seething live on the air over something or other. Usually the latest about the War. Today, however, a strange sound emanated from the tinny bedside radio; it sounded like cheers and claps. And it went on for a long time.

Oliver nodded in my direction to indicate that this was it; or that he wanted to be fed. In a few moments, the announcer who had been feeding the delirious applause live through his mike returned. The news did indeed warrant applause.

Before you go on, would you care to pause a moment at the end of this sentence and guess what the celebrations were about?

You are one-hundred and fifty percent correct; a peace treaty is imminent!

I should caution that we shouldn’t be unrealistically optimistic here. The “a” in that sentence means one. The 416/79 , as you may recall, is a joint squadron under two commands claiming to speak and move as one. As a condition to ratification, the 416 generals are hanging their peace treaty on a similar one between the 79 and the city. And they, as yet, have nothing. Also, there are some alarming questions being raised about how high a price has been paid for securing this first agreement.

We can only hope and pray that General Miller didn’t cave under pressure. The picture that the unions paint is one of rogue trash consciously creeping out of detention and attacking tourists. Does that seem realistic?

they're attacking!

It would be safe to conclude that Gen. Miller hasn’t set foot outside his compound since the start of the War. That would be the only explanation for his lack of oversight on the ground. The atrocity above is real, but scenes like this are increasingly few and far between. I mean, have you seen Chinatown lately? Granted my memories are bit fuzzy, but I don’t remember this intersection being so trendy:

spadina stylin'

As skeptical as I am of their dubious implications, I believe that two peace treaties will be signed before the week’s end. I can say that with a fair degree of certainty because:

a) I don’t get paid per prediction.
b) If anyone is reading this blog to forecast the future, they should consider seeing a professional. Any kind is okay; they can refer you.
c) If this blog is so influential, where the hell is my free coffee?! That’s right, no free coffee. Not even a phone call to thank me. Nothing.
d) I have seen the times to come and this blog is a record of my visions.
Just messin’ with ya  ;). See a shrink. Seriously.

*sigh* I just want to get my old Toronto back; the clean home where all cultures feel comfortable and at ease:

fluffy pavement

Update: It seems the 79 union now has an agreement too. Now my prognostication seems especially pointless.

8 Comments on “ War on Trash: Day 36 ”

  • Buy Essay
    July 27th, 2009 5:50 pm

    Are things really that bad in Toronto? Maybe we can all start by picking up after ourselves and consider recycling. Trash will continue to pile.

    Read more from Buy Essay at: http://www.bestessays.ca
  • Patrick
    July 28th, 2009 5:21 pm

    Hahaha! Picking up after ourselves?! Where are we … Communist China? Hilarious, Buy :D

  • VetTech
    July 28th, 2009 4:50 am

    I have never met a cat named Oliver who wasn't smart!

    Read more from VetTech at: http://www.superficialgallery.com
  • Patrick
    July 28th, 2009 5:20 pm

    I think that's a given, Vet. What about cats named Fish?

  • Jenny
    July 28th, 2009 5:12 am

    Reminds me of that episode of Monk where the trash was everywhere and he almost pee'd himself over it. xD

    Read more from Jenny at: http://thesocalledme.net
  • Patrick
    July 28th, 2009 5:19 pm

    I've heard of the show, Jenny, but never seen it. Self-urination sounds like quality entertainment, I should look it up :)

  • BadGalSays
    July 28th, 2009 3:57 pm

    we talked about the trash issue and mentioned you in our blog today. any updates on a settlement ?

    you know trini's leave alota flags after the parade. LOL

    Read more from BadGalSays at: http://thesuss.blogspot.com/
  • Patrick
    July 28th, 2009 5:16 pm

    BadGal, it's done. Still has to be ratified, which is to be completed by Friday, but I doubt they'd drag it back out into the sunshine again. The War could become a civil one!

    Hahaha, yeah :D Trinis are *really* proud folk. Say what you will, though, the Roti makes me think that maybe they're right.


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