The TIFF is stupid

Posted on September 4th, 2009 5 great comments. Room for one more!

The Toronto International Film Festival is stupid. I mean, good for them that they have so many movies but if someone actually wanted to watch them all, it would be physically impossible. Even if you managed to travel backward in time a couple of times. And then, just to really make it impossible, they throw in a bunch of well-known people who fart around town attracting onlookers and photographers.

Anyhow, there it is. Guess I’ll just have to deal with it. Medication, maybe.

more like toronto infinitely foolish festival. yeah.

I don’t think I could ever tell you more about the festival than the actual website, but one of the things that does seem to be lacking is a useful celebrity list. The Toronto Star has a very complete list but much of the time I couldn’t put name to face.  I’m usually not great with names, more of a faces guy. Do you suffer from the same affliction? You may find this somewhat useful:

That took more than a few pee breaks, but — it’s complete! Or at least as complete as it’ll get. Some of the names were either a bit too obscure or their web presence wasn’t very strong. By that I mean that if I had to click more than once to find out who it was, it just wasn’t worth it. I don’t get paid by the click, you know!

I figured it could be used as an “Oh shit, is that who I think it is?” list.

Yep. Now you know it’s someone famous. You just don’t know who.

And who cares?! Take a picture, take one more … nnnnnn Run! Push everyone aside – grandma can go straight to hell leap over hoods of cars – here’s my indicator, buddy!! — figure it all out later.

Get p-a-i-d!


Well, maybe not so much for me. I know that the moment I’d go to run, I’d slip on something and come straight down on my chin and camera and all. One big flubby smash, digitally stored in a multitude of devices and angles, many of which would be capable of playing it all out in slo-mo. And the blood. Lots of it. People would panic, some guy in front of me would faint. I’d be a mess, bawling from the awfulness of it all. The celebrity now long gone having been whisked into a waiting car even as I was still coming down. Probably the scream. And the photographers — pissed. I’d just cost them the day’s wage.

So, yeah, I hope to be there.

5 Comments on “ The TIFF is stupid ”

  • Lidian
    September 5th, 2009 5:26 am

    That does sound like fun. Almost like rush hour on the subway Yonge and Bloor, but with a camera and blood. And celebrities. Perhaps the makings of a documentary?

    I went to a TIFF movie in 1984, before all this glitz and glamour, we just showed up and went to the movie. I can't remember a thing about it, but it was deep and meaningful and not a big Hollywood production. And there was a song caled "Rise Up" at the end that I liked.

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  • Patrick
    September 9th, 2009 8:26 am

    I heard on CFRB this morning that there is actually a TIFF documentary is in the making (or made?) — I wasn't paying much attention :) I think, Lidian, you chose the right time to go. Once a festival becomes too big, you have jerks jostling to the front of the line with their cameras and "I work for TCL!" excuses. Much less fun.

  • Lidian
    September 5th, 2009 5:26 am

    "Subway AT Yonge and Bloor," I meant.

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  • Gautam
    September 6th, 2009 9:16 am

    That's one big collage that you have created, have some pics ready if they do land up in your home!! :)

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  • Patrick
    September 9th, 2009 8:18 am

    I will, Gautam. I already have that camera set up in the bedroom so I'm practically there.

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