Why’s everyone wasting my time today?

Posted on September 15th, 2009 No comments. The post is really that bad, huh?

Okay, so now it’s going to look like I’m obsessed with movie stars or something. But that’s not it at all. I just happen to pass the TIFF bigwig red carpet every day, and the bigwigs just happen to be there. In essence, they’re making themselves available for me. I’ll drop in for half an hour but, I mean, I’ve got other things to do. If they can move it along and show some appreciation for my sacrifice, I’ll humour them. I’m not a jerk.

They’re usually pretty courteous and … oh look! It’s Keanu Reeves!

how do <i>you</i> do?

Thanks, Keanu. You’re looking … well.

But Rebecca Miller, she’s too transfixed by someone’s scruffy locks to say hi to me:

someone's titillated -->

Nice. Yes, that’s supposed to be sarcastic.

And Robin Wright also showed up but absolutely refused to be photographed in focus. You have to understand, if she’s gonna waste my time like that, I’ve got a toilet at home that needs scrubbing.

Besides, I was able to find real talent not too far away:

as the leg approaches the speed of light, it appears to stretch out

Note the blur on the guy’s foot with respect to objects behind, like moving vehicles. *fwoosh!*  Ball never touched the ground. Cool cool stuff.

Strangely, this guy and his partner weren’t busking. Next time I see them, I’m going to suggest that they should. It’d help to pay for their cleats and deodorant and whatnot. And that’s the other thing I want to talk to them about; what exactly did they mean when they said they were “practicing”? Sounds mysterious. Gives me something to follow up on tomorrow if Natalie Portman starts to annoy me.

Oh, as regards that real talent thing, I was referring to one of the three people I took time out of my busy schedule to see, not necessarily Robin Wright. I probably shouldn’t say his name or mention his gender. Let’s just say his name begins with “Kean” and ends width “eeves”. And it’s the only he in the group.

It’s Keanu Reeves.

I’m sure he’s a swell guy, but his acting often makes me long for unconsciousness.  His performance in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure set an insurmountable precedent, really. It was his breakthrough role; he shone like a real star for the very first time. That part was his.

Anyhow, I still managed a surly post today so Robin, Keanu, and Becky didn’t spoil everything. I just hope that the bigshots understand just how valuable my time is before it’s too late. I only have a finite amount of patience. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

What's on your mind?