Tall tales and campaign trails

Posted on January 5th, 2010 4 great comments. Room for one more!

Oh boy! I finally got my Christmas present from the city of Toronto! Thanks, municipality!

And it’s just what I always wanted too — a brand-spanking new election year! (even the exact colour)

Now, truth be told, I’m a total n00b (a word requiring not one but two zeroes to denote the level of experience), when it comes to municipal politics. I learn a little bit every now and then when a scandal breaks out, but other than that I only know that good old Davie Miller is our mayor until the last week of October. And that candidates are now free to register after which they can start fundraising.

But despite my overall lack of knowledge, this is a great opportunity to dive in headfirst and learn. And pray for muck flinging, name calling, and other assorted hijinx. I sincerely hope that municipal politicking is as kooky as I imagine it is. And in the meantime, I get ten months of increasingly busy campaigning to revert to when my brain goes all mushy for topics. It’s the gift that keeps on giving — even though that’s technically incorrect since people give gifts (could you imagine the horror of gifts giving people?). But it’s the thought that counts. :)

Also, dear reader, you now know as much as I do. Oh, wait, maybe a few more things:

Giorgio Mammoliti (confirmed)

Adam “Jammy Jams” Giambrone (potential)

George Smitherman (expected)

John Tory (potential)

Joe Pantalone (expected)
— twitless

Rocco Rossi (confirmed)

Shelley Carroll (potential)

That’s the current roster. The “expected” candidates have either quit their day job or stated publicly that they’ll be registering – both pretty strong indicators of intent.

I don’t know much about any of these people. I do know that George Smitherman is gay and looks like a bulldog. Both, I believe, in his favour. I also know that, judging by the state of his website, John Tory is either not planning to run or is keeping his candidacy a big and unnecessary secret (and making some affiliate income to boot):

john tory website, toronto, city, life

I also know that Adam Giambrone (pronounced like “jam bony”), is a couple of years my junior and is barely holding the Toronto Transit Commission together as its boss. I shudder to think of him at the city’s helm (no way is he getting the Clearasil budget past council, mark my words).

Giorgio Mammoliti looks like an Italian gangster, so he’s pretty cool. Joe Pantalone has a website that reminds me of Toronto City Life during its first few months, so yuck. Also, he’s really wee. Two strikes; he’d better be a good orator. Rocco Rossi, nice wine, but how are the mayor skills? Shelley Carroll has a pretty slick website with some nice Adobe Flash work – it always makes me a bit suspicious when someone can afford to pay the ridiculous sums that Flash developers extort out of their customers. Come to think of it, “Baby Face” Giambrone has some Flash on his site too. Hmmm.

Okay, so now you know exactly what I know; we’ll both be learning as we go along. The contestants (it’s more fun to think of them this way), are allowed to raise $1.5 million to grease constituents’ palms. Then it’ll be a brutal, bare-knuckle free-for-all; winner gets City Hall and medical attention.

And I get material that writes itself. :D

4 Comments on “ Tall tales and campaign trails ”

  • Kato
    January 6th, 2010 6:58 am

    This is going to be a fun ride…

    Read more from Kato at: http://www.pandorahsbox.blogspot.com
  • Patrick
    January 6th, 2010 6:24 pm

    I agree, Kato. There are chances for all sorts of impropriety right off the bat (dirty election funds, etc.) And I get the strange feeling I'll end up bumping into a candidate or three somewhere. It's be good to shoot some deep shit with them when I see them rather than some shallow exchange about weather or the lack of long underwear in Toronto.

  • Jeff
    January 7th, 2010 7:27 am

    I envy you for some the good conversation you will have coming your way. It should be interesting to read how it turns out for you.

    Read more from Jeff at: http://www.jessdaddy.com
  • Patrick
    January 11th, 2010 7:31 am

    I suspect, Jeff, it'll be more like me shouting out the candidate's name and them waving back at me from somewhere in the crowd. Not so much conversation :)

What's on your mind?