“The Three Easy Steps to Ultimate Success” (abridged version), pt.3


 Posted on February 10th, 2010
 by Patrick 8 great comments. Room for one more!

…continued from previous part.

If I may be honest, dear reader, that last part kinda bummed me out. The beach is not a happy place on a late January night. I didn’t see a single person frolic. In fact, I saw only one guy and he walked by so briskly that I didn’t even get to see what he had under his arm. And then returning back from whence he came at exactly the same pace, minus the thing he had been carrying. Then a car left the parking lot.

At that point I decided it was starting to get late. Class dismissed.

Step 3 – Learning You Good!

howard ferguson hall, st. george campus, university of toronto, u of t, toronto, city, life

Okay, so this is where it starts to pick up a little. Note the sunshine, for starters. That building is the entranceway to Ultimate Success University™.

Haha! Just joshin’ ya, that’s actually one of the neato buildings at the University of Toronto’s St. George campus.

spadina street, st. george campus, university of toronto, u of t, toronto, city, life

U of T and Ryerson are both spread out over blocks, each a little sprawling mini-metropolis of their own. This is where people come to get edumacated.

Some of the university-educated folk I’ve had to interact with, oh, don’t get me started. Sorry your dreams are crushed, buddy, but my burger isn’t going to tray itself now, is it?

Haha! Well, I laugh like I have a University diploma or something. Only from the University of Xerox, if that institution is still relevant. Also, I went to Centennial College to study digital electronics for computers. That entire program was a 24/7 sausagefest. I recall a friend who had transferred classes telling me that he thought that, possibly, there were a couple of chicks in his class. But they sat w-a-y at the back. And looked like dudes.

I guess I’m lucky I didn’t get accepted to university in the end. I repeatedly hear about the crazy debt that university grads are saddled with right out the gate. Of course, I had my own, but Centennial led to a lot friendlier debt collectors.

The campus I attended was really more of a remedial school so living there really wasn’t a concept. It was right by Highway 401, that particular section being the busiest in the busiest highway in the world. About half of my classmates were 40 or older and a number of them, well-qualified in other countries, corrected the profs during lectures. Though I don’t know if we were allowed to call them professors. Let’s say teachers to be safe.

The roadside campus was one misshapen hallway with spiny protrusions reaching outward into the empty lot on which it sat. Behind it, an attempt at a sports field and behind that, a murderin’ wood lot. I haven’t been back.

st. george campus, university of toronto, u of t, toronto, city, life

And that’s this point of discussion: every day is an education – school just gets the ball rolling. Once we’re on the road to Ultimate Success®, we must learn to quickly grab the wheel of life — and yank a hard left back toward the road! — before it becomes a smouldering wreck wrapped around the tree of complacency. What else could it be but a tree? The most complacent organism around.

So while I grudgingly admit that I have met a few successful university grads, I’m still not convinced of a diploma’s worth. I mean, for traditional things like doctors and lawyers and such, yes, I want the man or woman who may potentially be handling my nether regions to have damn-fucking-real looking diplomas on those walls. But they definitely don’t teach everything. Certainly not Ultimate Success®.

st. george campus, university of toronto, u of t, toronto, city, life

I think a healthy dose of inquisitive skepticism is probably one the best things that a school can instill. If you have it already, you’re done! If you’ve lost it, get it back. The last thing you want is to wind up as some turd in the corner of the office doing nothing but wasting the last days of your life playing solitaire. It even hurts me to suggest it. My apologies, dear reader, but that’s how important I think it is.

Important enough for a screenplay?

Continued in next part…

8 Comments on “ “The Three Easy Steps to Ultimate Success” (abridged version), pt.3 ”

  • rws
    February 11th, 2010 3:54 am

    love the next to last pic in this entry, with the tree shadow on the building. good work. :)


  • Patrick
    February 12th, 2010 7:14 pm

    Thanks, rws. However, I’m afraid it’s not all my doing — most of the blame lies with the sun!


  • stanya
    February 11th, 2010 12:38 pm

    Well, well. Education is obviously important, otherwise you'll be potential future zero without even knowing what to do with yourself. But from my own experience the true is that school no matter what kind is filling you with more useless knowledges than is necessary. I use to study Architectural Ceramic, it may sound appealing but till today I didn't get the slitest idea why in the hell I should bother with political science, ancient Czech, ancient poetry, rusian literature and grammer, biologie, zoologie. Oh yes it is nice to know all those things but the scholl should prepare people for real life not for dreaming, right? But ritht now I don't complain anymore because I found out that thanks to this kind of education I am able to see how badly or not at all educated people are running some important posts. I think it is worth to think about it.


  • stanya
    February 11th, 2010 12:42 pm

    Hey guys sorry for those mistakes they have nothing to do with European education.


  • Patrick
    February 12th, 2010 3:48 pm

    No need for apologies, Stanya. English can't be everyone's first language :)


  • Kato
    February 11th, 2010 6:55 pm

    Awesome pics. And I can vouch for the debt, because it is KILLING me. Yeesh.


  • Patrick
    February 12th, 2010 3:50 pm

    Thanks, Kato. And yeah, university can get really pricey. It'd be okay if you could get a high-paying job straight out of school but I find that that's the exception rather than the rule.