“The Three Easy Steps to Ultimate Success” (abridged version), pt.6

Posted on February 18th, 2010 4 great comments. Room for one more!

…continued from previous part.

I would like to thank you for hanging in there, dear reader. I know that you’ve sat through quite enough self-indulgent tripe in this series and, thankfully, we’ve come to the end of it. There’s not much more left to achieving Ultimate Success® except this last bit:


university of toronto, st. george campus, spadina avenue, toronto, city, life

As we finally leave the University of Toronto (I’m sure I mentioned it’s a big place), I’m reminded of my first impression of Canada. A little immigrant kid, no English, fresh off the plane at Pearson, stepping out into Toronto daylight for the first time. I’m not sure if I vocalized it, and I’m not certain if I used the word “shit”, but I recall gasping, “Holy shit! Look at the size of those cars! How big are these people?”

I won’t hesitate to call that wonder. Toronto was huge. And you know, I think it still is. If I recall correctly, by doing the speed limit on the 401 from the eastern border (“Welcome to the City of Toronto!”) to the western border (“Same to You, Jerkwad!”), you could drive across the city in about forty minutes. That’s about sixty-seven kilometers (forty-two miles). On the night of my high school graduation, drunk off my tits, I decided to walk home to Scarborough from Yonge and Bloor. I could be wrong, but I think it took me just a little over six hours. Possibly less if I hadn’t been wearing formal footwear.

university of toronto, st. george campus, spadina avenue, toronto, city, life

I would probably add another two to three hours of walking to get to the eastern city limit, where it touches cootie-ridden Durham county. And I believe the city extends just as far west of Yonge too.

So it’ll be a while before I can say I’ve seen most of it. Plus, every day I feel like an idiot with all the new stuff I learn. For example, did you know Toronto has a flag? And I finally discovered that Ollie and I are slumming it in a genuine, old-Toronto bay-and-gable flat. Bay-and-gable, sounds like a gritty police drama. Or perhaps a comedy duo.

When bay-and-gable starts to get stale-and-laboured, I usually don’t need to walk more than a block or two for a change.

university of toronto, st. george campus, toronto, city, life

What I’m getting at, really, is that something unexpected usually lies just around the corner. Ultimate Success® is incredibly subjective, so it’s difficult to get any more precise than that (in only three easy steps). But if you strike out for it, whatever it means to you, you’ll more than likely hit it. Even stupid people get successful so you sure can!

Just follow some basic rules: be sure to keep your eyes peeled…

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…stay cool, baby, stay cool…

university of toronto, st.george campus, toronto, city, life

…and have fun! If it’s not fun, it probably won’t be worth doing. And for all those fun things that require elusive inspiration, I find that it tends to strike moving targets much more frequently. Sometimes you just need to  take a walk.

Congratulations! You are now at the gate of Ultimate Success®!

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I would like to thank the publisher(s) of this autobiographical Tour de Force in advance for his / her / their support. Without believing in me the way she / he / they will have, this whole crazy thing never would’ve come together.

In closing, I’d like to add that if “The Three Easy Steps to Ultimate Success” has helped even just one person, it will make the royalty cheques I’ll be receiving well worth it. May you find your happiness.

4 Comments on “ “The Three Easy Steps to Ultimate Success” (abridged version), pt.6 ”

  • stanya
    February 19th, 2010 6:26 pm

    This post is not bad at all the opposite is true. You are lucky guy that you can discover Toronto so deeply. I know it is all about walking and watching with the eyes of painter. They always see things the other people are not able even register, not to mention see the soul of the dynamic life of this city. Your pictures are as usualy beautiful and precise, the buildings have real character, you can feel the atmosphere. Thanks for it all. I have suggestion for you. Why don’t you go on trip around the world and keep us all posted? It would be lots of fun and illumination. But I think I know why, and if I am riht it is a shame.

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  • Patrick
    February 19th, 2010 3:28 pm

    That's a terrific suggestion, Stanya! If I someone were willing to sponsor me or hire me as a travel writer, my ass would be on a plane tomorrow. Of course, I'd still call Toronto home, but I certainly don't mind playing the role of a visitor.

  • stanya
    February 20th, 2010 9:42 am

    Great, you never know, and I wish you all the luck in the world that it happen to you. It should've happend yesterday.

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  • Patrick
    February 22nd, 2010 8:15 pm

    Thank you , Stanya. You're right, it should've happened yesterday. But at least it happened today. :)

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