Archive for November, 2010

Makhniashvellian deeds

Posted on November 30th, 2010 Be the first to comment

Okay, so before we begin, I have to come right out and say that this is an interactive blog post so I have to insert some caveats right up front.

First, make sure you’re physically able to perform a moderate jumping motion. To those of you who mock this warning, you’d be surprised. To those of you not surprised, I urge you to consult with a physician first.

Next, make sure you’re wearing comfortable athletic footwear and clothing and that the area around you is clear.

Stretch your calves, hamstrings, quadriceps, biceps, triceps, glutes, and anything else that stretches or jiggles. Especially if it jiggles.

Now get ready to do a little leaping!

Right down to a little village on the border between the U.S. and Mexico, a spec of mud on a dusty plain known as “concluçions”. The English pronunciation is, as usual, bastardized.

You see, in this lawless land, a man must carry the scales of justice in his own back pocket. I do. Nice, shiny set engraved by my pappy. And that can be a euphemism for whatever you like, darlin’.

I’m using the scales on old Vakhtang Makhniashvili and they’re tellin’ me this guy’s a scoundrel.

If you don’t know the guy, the original story or subsequent events, or how to pronounce his name, I can sum it all up for you in a paragraph.

The name is pronounced: “Vak-zHTeng-toænGgH   (K-CHT)   MЋë-Shnee-Shmia-Shmeely-Vooly”. The “K-CHT” is an optional clearing of the throat following the first name. He was initially famous because his daughter went missing from her high school just over a year ago (still no sign). And ‘cuz he stabbed someone ‘cuz the dude got too loud.

At that time people were all, like, “he’s under a lot of stress and he’s probably having trouble fitting in anyways on account of being an immigrant, and blah blah blabbidy blah.”

Well I ain’t from around these parts neither, missy, but I’ll tell you whut … that’s horse manure out where I come from.

So, daughter’s missing and he’s languishing in jail, seems like a crappy sitch, no? What I’m getting at is that I wouldn’t stab the people who bailed me out of there, ya know? Like he did to his neighbours, pretty much strangers until they put up the money.

So now Vakhtang’s stuck three people like so much spicy Georgian sausage and I’m starting to think to myself, hmm, you know, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit to think he might’ve stabbed his daughter too.

Is that such a far leap? I dunno, how did it feel for you?

Alls I’m saying is that most oftentimes, the obvious is correct. Occam’s razor et al. And speaking of knives, who told buddy that slashing your way out of a fight is the “in” way to resolve your differences? Knives can do a lot more damage than a pistol can so if you pull one in a fight, one of you is liable to not be walking away. Pretty sure that’s true anywhere in the world.

Stress? Pshyeah right! One stabbing, maybe … but three? Is this how he relieves stress? Well, fuck, I’m glad he’s not doing it for the sexual pleasure.

Basically, it’s summed up by that famous quote from George Bush:

There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, stab me once, shame on – shame on you. Stab me – you can’t get stabbed again. Heh heh.

Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay

18…

Posted on November 30th, 2010 Be the first to comment

Froz’n Motion / Cameron MacMaster has added a photo to the pool:

18...

Looking up between the Royal Bank Plaza South Tower and the Canada Trust Tower during the Great Fog Storm of November 2010.

Become a fan of the cool Froz’n Motion Facebook page at FACEBOOK or visit www.froznmotion.com

Filed under: Contributed, Pictures

Bay Street 404…

Posted on November 29th, 2010 Be the first to comment

Froz’n Motion / Cameron MacMaster has added a photo to the pool:

Bay Street 404...

Looking up outside Toronto’s Old City Hall during the Great Fog Storm of November 2010.

Become a fan of the cool Froz’n Motion Facebook page at FACEBOOK or visit www.froznmotion.com

Filed under: Contributed, Pictures

Parade of delinquency and terror, the sequel

Posted on November 24th, 2010 Be the first to comment

I tried to warn my sis. I referred her to last year’s experience. I told her this was no place for impressionable young kids. Did she listen? Did she do the responsible thing and not accept my invitation to the Santa Claus Parade? Am I wallowing in rhetoric just to fill up a few sentences?

santa claus parade, 2010, yonge street, marching band, christmas, toronto, city, life

… Continue Reading

Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay, Pictures

The Flagpole

Posted on November 22nd, 2010 2 Comments

Froz’n Motion / Cameron MacMaster has added a photo to the pool:

The Flagpole

Looking up at the Toronto-Dominion Centre during the major fog-storm of 13 November 2010 in downtown Toronto,

Become a fan of the cool Froz’n Motion Facebook page at FACEBOOK or visit www.froznmotion.com

Filed under: Contributed, Pictures

When words fail me…

Posted on November 18th, 2010 4 Comments

…I depend on my facial expressions to get my point across.

… Continue Reading

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

A Quiet Stillness…

Posted on November 15th, 2010 3 Comments

Froz’n Motion / Cameron MacMaster has added a photo to the pool:

A Quiet Stillness...

Early morning at Allen Gardens in the midst of one of Toronto’s foggiest days EVER – 13 November 2010.

Become a fan of the cool Froz’n Motion Facebook page at FACEBOOK or visit www.froznmotion.com

Filed under: Contributed, Pictures

TCL Flickr Pool: The Harbour…

Posted on November 10th, 2010 Be the first to comment

Froz’n Motion / Cameron MacMaster has added a photo to the pool:

The Harbour...

Toronto Harbour from Queen’s Quay, Harbourfront.

Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Become a fan of the cool Froz’n Motion Facebook page at FACEBOOK or visit www.froznmotion.com

Filed under: Contributed, Pictures

Been preocuppied

Posted on November 9th, 2010 2 Comments

I guess it’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?

After a while a blog becomes like a part of your body; it’s hard not to want to scratch it regularly. For me, every other day seems to work okay but a week — well, that requires one big-ass scratch.

So, in lieu of a bunch of back-dated posts, here’s a digest of what’s been keeping me busy for the past week:

  1. I’ve started a new blog. Kinda. The first part is the domain registration and the setting up of all the hamster wheels and such. Then the blinking buttons and knobs and switches get put in, and finally you have the beginnings of a blog:

    RayJohnBlog.com

    Did I explain that correctly? What I mean is, you won’t see much but an empty blog sitting there, so don’t get all excited. But I don’t expect to take too long until launch — I’ve got an adequately pointy and antagonistic theme picked out and I’ll be keeping everything else pretty simple at the beginning.

    K, so who’s Ray John? I am. He’s an alias, a moniker, a nom de plume.

    Actually, he’s a bit more than that. Ray John is a personality that I hope to develop into results like money, loose women, and fame. Not necessarily in that order. Of course, since I’ll be penning him, and even more importantly, since I’ll be the face (and perhaps voice) of Ray John, he’ll have to be some well established part of my psyche that has plenty to say. So if you can sit through this drivel, you should be okay with Ray’s stuff too.

    I’ve known two Rays in my life; one saw my younger sister for a while and ended up being the assholiest of jerks, the second was a developer I worked with who was a thoroughly enjoyable fellow. Neither Ray was the inspiration here … I don’t even particularly like the name Ray to be honest. The name comes from “rage on”, the underlying idea that started me down this slippery slope. The combined name “Ray John” works phonetically, sounds like a ubiquitously ticked-off middle-class white dude, and also uses the most common spellings of  both names. The thing was hardly spontaneous; sorry if that bursts anyone’s bubble. You can go right ahead and pretend I beat the name out of a three-headed purple dragon named Elvis if it adds to the mystique.

    Since Ray is also a Torontonian I’ll be syndicating some of his blog on TCL. Ray’s blog topics won’t be limited to Toronto, however, which is why I needed to make this split. Besides, I want to give him room to breathe and grow.

    Be sure to check out “The Ray John Blog: I Got Beefs” just as soon as I post a big honkin’ link to it at the top of the sidebar.As for Toronto City Life, why, we’re just getting started here. ;)

  2. Got me my first fully independent contract (and I gave myself a generous raise too). Okay, so technically the second contract, but who’s counting? I started on a portfolio site but didn’t have a chance to add any content before I landed the gig. Meh, maybe next time.

    Still, great excuse to get me a new ‘puter. Nothing fancy, mind you, but she’ll crunch the numbers I need crunched.

    compaq laptop, living room, toronto, city, life

  3. A couple of nights ago I notice a “drip drip” coming from somewhere around the bedroom when the upstairs neighbours were running their water. By yesterday afternoon, the leak had broken through the ceiling in my closet.

    leak, ceiling, apartment, closet, water damage, toronto, city, life
    I’d assumed that the water must either be coming from the shower or sink … it ran too long for it to be the toilet (thank God!) The plumber initially agreed with my assessment but after poking his head through the ceiling for about an hour, running the neighbours’ faucets, man-handling the pipes, etc., he concluded that it was the grout in the shower upstairs that was the source of the leak.

    Seems like older buildings like mine had grout applied right on top of drywall so once compromised, the thing just turns to mud. In this case, however, it isn’t merely the grout that’s coming away, the whole corner of their shower is apparently all puckered up and ready to fall off. Minor miracle that I’d just noticed it now, in fact.

    So, good news is that, for me, it means minor drywall work in my closet. And I learned how to fix common water pressure problems too! For my neighbours, it means that their bathroom (and especially shower), will be off-limits for a while.

  4. … Continue Reading

Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay, Pictures

TCL Flickr Pool: Get lost inside

Posted on November 9th, 2010 Be the first to comment

angietorres has added a photo to the pool:

Get lost inside

One of my favourite places in the city.

Filed under: Contributed, Pictures