Porter visits Ford Nashun

Posted on May 28th, 2013 No comments. The post is really that bad, huh?

It takes some guts to insert anyone critical of the Fords smack dab in the middle of Ford Nation these days. After all, these are the same people who openly threatened to cut Sarah’s head off on Facebook (I wish I was kidding).

But Catherine Porter of the Star did it anyways, standing outside of Rob’s cherished Humbertown Mall with nought but a sign inviting people for a talk, and a smile, asking Ford supporters what they thought of their man these days.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Ford Nation if at least a few of them didn’t throw out insults like their corpulent hero, but thankfully a few people decided to talk to her and provide us with a glimpse into the brilliance that makes up their ranks.

The person that stood out, for me, was one Robert Tycholiz, a former drug addict turned musician, and a die-hard Ford backer.

“I have a lot of faith in the mayor. The things he’s done for the city are the ones he promised to do,” said Tycholiz, 54. “I believe him.”

The word “believe” here is really very appropriate, because it exposes a sort of blind faith. And it would have to be blind to claim that the mayor has “done” anything for the city outside of an extra $0.12 each day in your pocket (but only if you can afford to drive a car; go figure), and privatizing half of Toronto’s garbage collection (which doesn’t exactly qualify as the City Hall “gravy” that Rob used to scream about).

I guess this is enough to impress some people. Fine.

Then there’s this little gem:

“Anybody on coke, addicted to coke, could never carry weight like Rob Ford. He’s a big man. Those drugs slim you down like nobody’s businesses,” he said. “He’d have to be very, very stupid to have that happen, and I don’t see him as a stupid man.”

To claim that Ford’s tenure has shown much intelligence is a huge stretch. And about drugs like cocaine slimming you down like “nobody’s business”…

ChrisFarley

This is Chris Farley, in case you don’t recognize him; a jolly, good-natured, and infinitely more intelligent version of Rob Ford who died of a cocaine overdose, and who remained quite beefy right up until the end. Farley exhibited the same sweaty, ruddy-faced demeanor that Ford does, making accusations of Ford’s drug use all the more plausible.

But not to Ford Nashun, the people who are willing to believe a known public liar (remember how vehemently he denied his Florida DUI charge? Or the drunken hockey incident?) over overwhelming evidence and fact. Reality clearly doesn’t matter. They’ll buy whatever the fat man is shoveling, even if that happens to be so much fetid bullshit.

The questions I’m left with at the end of all of this: should these people be allowed to walk around without a chaperone and some sort of protective head gear? And for God’s sake, we’re letting them behind the wheel of a car?!

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