Archive for 2013

RoFoDoFo Show Numero Dos no mo also

Posted on November 19th, 2013 Be the first to comment
RoFoDoFo Show ("The City") on Newstalk1010:
Gone too early on November 8, 2013
RoFoDoFo Show ("Ford Nation") on Sun News Network:
Taken after just one tragic episode on November 19, 2013
Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay

Schrödinger has left the building

Posted on November 19th, 2013 5 Comments

Both Rob and Doug have been going all out in putting the blame primarily on the media for all of their current woes. While the stories become more and more outrageous, it would certainly seem that they’re being exaggerated were it not for the piles of corroborating evidence and the personal testimony of the mayor’s former staff.

True, I wasn’t there and I don’t know any of the people mentioned in the police reports. My closest personal interaction with off-the-cuff statements and public officials involved newly-appointed mayor Norm Kelly in a brief conversation he had with Sarah and me at a doctor’s office about six months ago — his wife was there to treat a recurring medical condition. It seemed like an odd thing to blurt out to what to Norm must have been just two random strangers; but not exactly scandal material.

For the most part, I can only depend on inference and corroborating documents in reaching my conclusions. But increasingly, and perhaps as a result of ramped-up public pressure, one or the other of the Ford brothers makes a public statement that makes inference entirely unnecessary.

The latest such statement came courtesy of Rob himself, the “I wanted to eat her pussy” admonition — the “her” being former Ford staffer Olivia Gondek to whom, it is claimed, Rob made the proclamation during one of his infamous drunken stupors. Despite mentioning this in a closing aside during a press conference  (“oh, and one more thing”), this will probably be traced by future historians as the statement that pushed Rob Ford over the edge.

Problem is, no one actually said this. The real alleged statements included:

“I’m going to eat you out”
“I banged your pussy”
“I’m going to eat your box”

Apparently Ford said this to not only Gondek but also a female security guard (the final quote), and if the reports are to be believed, this isn’t completely out of character:

xxx) Mayor FORD tried to hit-on a woman that was at the [subway] station which was unusual behaviour for him. He asked her out to dinner.

eeee) Mayor FORD wanted to go to the Esplanade that night.

ffff) RANSOM described Alana as:

i)a female
ii) white,
iii) blonde hair,
iv) younger than RANSOM,
v) blue eyes,
vi) thin,
vii) petite and
viii) attractive.

gggg) RANSOM has a photo at home that he can provide to the police.

hhhh) Alana may have been an escort or prostitute. There have been rumors that Mayor FORD has used escorts or prostitutes. Alana has also been seen with Mayor FORD at a stag party. Alana approached PROVOST that night. This upset Mayor FORD because Alana recognized PROVOST. RANSOM thinks that Mayor FORD was upset because PROVOST was not being discreet about Alana. Alana didn’t seem intoxicated that night.

hhhh) Alana may have been an escort or prostitute. There have been rumors that Mayor FORD has used escorts or prostitutes. Alana has also been seen with Mayor FORD at a stag party. Alana approached PROVOST that night. This upset Mayor FORD because Alana recognized PROVOST. RANSOM thinks that Mayor FORD was upset because PROVOST was not being discreet about Alana. Alana didn’t seem intoxicated that night.

nn) CHRISTOPOULOS had enough of dealing with the personal life of the Mayor. That was not his job.

oo) In the past women have come to the office and told staffers that they have smoked a joint with the Mayor on the street outside of the bar. These women were told by the Mayor that they could have a job. CHRISTOPOULOS would have to interview these women and try and talk them out of a job. These women would state that the Mayor provided the marihuana. One women’s names was “Blair”. They would be contacted by email. Apparently this woman had put a picture of her and the Mayor on Twitter and she was contacted by the Toronto Star asking questions. That is when she contacted the office of the Mayor. The emails may have come into the Mayor’s account in June to August of 2012.

What’s genuinely interesting to me is how Rob managed to conflate certain statements made to the police (while ignoring other and, to me, considerably more serious allegations), to create something that was ultimately much worse.

Had he used an actual quote, his on-camera statement probably wouldn’t have been as bad. Yeah, making public statements about eating out boxes (first thing on a Monday morning to boot), probably also would’ve gotten some cockeyed looks, but I think we all agree that the way that Rob Ford decided to phrase it was probably the worst possible way.

The fact that these allegations were made is secondary to Rob’s almost mythical ability to take bad situations and make them just that much worse. To date, neither Rob, his brother, or anyone else has thought to correct this error, but regardless of whether there was a “pussy” or a “box”, or some sort of combination of the two, this latest incident just further proves what Ford critics have been saying all along: the man doesn’t have the judgement to correctly string together a sentence let alone run a city.

In my mind, that alone is an excellent reason for cutting Ford off at the knees. Sound judgement is probably the top attribute required of Toronto’s mayor, and neither Rob nor Doug have shown that they have any.

Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay

Rob’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Posted on November 18th, 2013 1 Comment

News of Rob Ford’s demotion by City Council was swift and brutal, as was the Ford brothers’ on-the-spot retribution against heckling citizens in the gallery.

On his way to punch out the boisterous audience, Rob managed to bowl over Councillor Pam McConnell before joining brother Doug in exchanging unpleasantries with the public. Or maybe it was after. Not sure it matters.

Very few people stand behind the mayor and his brother at this point, mostly for fear of getting hit in the face, but also because it’s kinda tough to defend the increasingly nutty behaviour of the two.

Only fellow Twitterer @Jedimasterbator offered what I see as some reasonable explanations:

In Rob Ford’s defense:

  1. Women and kids ARE easier to knock down.
  2. No kids at City Hall.
  3. Newton’s Laws of Motion.
  4. Mondays.
Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay

Rob Ford, according to Doug

Posted on November 18th, 2013 Be the first to comment

Jesus, Obama, Ford

So now that we’re on the cusp on RoFo’s dethronement, brother Doug has decided to tell it like it is and compare Rob to Jesus or perhaps some sort of white Obama — that’s the type of injustice being carried out here!

Hmm, I don’t remember reading about Jesus smoking crack or publicly lying over and over again, although he did hang out with prostitutes so maybe there’s a hint there?

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Ford Nation supports their man

Posted on November 15th, 2013 Be the first to comment

It’s completely understandable that, with their man backed into a corner as he is, the remaining stalwarts of Ford Nation would start lashing out at their enemies which, as expected, now encompass everyone but themselves and the Fords.

I made the frankly idiotic decision to inquire about their thinking process in the dwindling “I Hate The War on Mayor Rob Ford” Facebook page with inflammatory questions like, “So you believe that 42 elected Councillors working together is the path to totalitarianism whereas one Councillor ignoring everyone else to do as he pleases is democracy?”

Well, of course that got me banned and my comments deleted, so none of the witty repartee survived, but I did manage to snag some of the high-caliber commentary that graces this and other social media pages (all public, so protecting identities is pointless):


Creative spelling, grammar, and punctuation aside, I was able to confirm that Ford Nation really does believe and accept as verbatim truth whatever their idols claim. For example, there’s the mind-bogglingly dogged “people hate Rob for his policies” rhetoric:


…mindlessly copied by dozy Fordites…


While having the threat of possible removal hanging over Councillors’ heads is something that Ford Nation pretty much demands, they simultaneously claim that this is completely anti-democratic and abhorrent (when imposed on the Fords). If you’re looking for an example of how hypocrisy is a form or irony, there you go!

Then, of course there’s the ever-present nonsense about the Fords saving the city money, or the taxpayers money, or anyone money, which I’ve gone over ad nauseum:


Then there are the fantasies about how many people actually support Ford (even more confirmation of the uncritical nature of Ford supporters), mixed with heaping portions of good old-fashioned slander:





Hey, Ford Nation, did you know that there’s this new thing called “Google” that will allow you to search for exact sentence fragments? No shit! This amazing new technology will allow you to verify the veracity of whatever it is that’s being quoted or, in this case, entirely being made up:


Ah, but why resort to facts when you can engage in otherwise heady debate?



While it’s true that I don’t exactly hold back on my criticisms of political (and other) figures, there continues to be that one dividing line between my statements and those put out by Ford Nation: supporting facts. So I suppose it’s not so surprising that despite the constant stream of on-camera lies, supporters somehow still believe that Rob is a stand-up guy:


Perhaps the most disturbing are the paranoid and delusional histrionics being employed by lead Ford Nation personalities (a term used very loosely):




In the “it would be amusing/clever/pun-ny if they weren’t actually being serious” category are the Ford apologists, such as the following I hate the War administrator who is talking about Rob’s recent cunnilingus comments:


Oh well, at least they can all agree about how disgusting this entire media circus is and how Robbie and Dougie just need to be left alone. Here’s a final example, exactly as it appeared on I Hate the War‘s Facebook page:



Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Ford just wants privacy

Posted on November 14th, 2013 1 Comment

Can you blame him?

With the shit show crest that Rob Ford is surfing, it’s hard to imagine that he gets any peace and quiet at all. It’s a shock that he doesn’t just do like his brother, who correctly decided to just not show up at Council after setting the record straight with the maggots down south and at City Hall yesterday morning. I mean, why the hell should he be expected to do his job when people won’t stop asking all those damn distracting questions? Don’t they know he’s a human being with normal human feelings?!

The spectacle was ratcheted up again this morning as Robbie expressed his disgust at what was said about him in the updated court documents that were released yesterday. In those documents, Ford’s former staff say all sorts of unflattering things about the mayor’s reluctantly intoxicated conduct which, as we all know, is all HIGHLY improbable given everything we know. Granted, the mayor’s memory may be a bit sketchy on unimportant details like smoking crack in an infamous crack house, or his association with drug and gun runners, or his involvement in the Anthony Smith murder, but we can be absolutely, completely, and unwaveringly convinced of the mayor’s guaranteed honesty.

Let’s be real; if any crazy person can just say whatever they think they saw or heard when being interrogated by the police, and then have the police publicly release those statements via the courts (regardless of if that crazy person had any hand in, or knowledge of, the subsequent release), that’s clearly the highest form of slander and requires nothing less than the most vicious retaliation. That’s just sensible.

So it makes sense that Robbie would be going after his former staff, not to mention the ballsy Bier Markt and its staff, for saying such awful things about him. Impugning his honour by claiming that he made sexual remarks and was cavorting with a hooker — obviously such statements are a direct assault on the entire Ford clan who only want to live in peace and to be left alone like any other normal family. They’re practically begging for privacy, and yet the press hounds them incessantly. They media’s chutzpah knows no bounds; not even Rob’s exemplary kids are off-limits, and Doug’s innocent kids are similarly in the media spotlight as though they had some say in the matter!

Apparently having his wife appear beside him in a crowded and boisterous press conference isn’t enough to get this simple request through their thick reporter skulls, so Rob and Doug are taking to TV in their uniquely titled “Ford Nation” on the Sun News Network to let everyone know how revolted they are with their lack of privacy.

Thankfully, after the abhorrent remarks made earlier by police chief Bill Blair, the police are not taking any actions against Ford’s obviously tongue-in-cheek remarks about his driving drunk and buying illegal drugs (sure to be typified as admissions of guilt but the media maggots). And at least the cops are not intervening as the mayor asserts his right to a little personal space at his media scrums (sure to be typified as physical assault by the media maggots).

Ford, like his buddy Sandro Lisi, is finally standing up to the tidal wave of injustice and lies swelling against him. If he’s guilty of anything, it’s in being a fair and an honest man who works his ass off for the taxpayers of this city to save every last penny and eliminate taxes from the clutches of the corrupt and wasteful government.

Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay

More detailed Ford surveillance document goes public

Posted on November 13th, 2013 Be the first to comment

It’s still pretty heavily redacted, but the Project Brazen document detailing the surveillance of Rob Ford and the parade of shady characters he cavorts with, originally released on October 31st, has been cleared for public release.

I’ve just started skimming it so I have no comments just yet, but I recommend you grab yourself a copy and peruse at your leisure:

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay

….and we’re back.

Posted on November 13th, 2013 Be the first to comment

Greatest of apologies, dear TCL reader, for our unexpected outage over the past few days. I’d accidentally allowed the domain name to lapse, which shouldn’t have been a big issue except … it was! After three “escalations”, four assurances that things were restored (apparently no one checked to see if this was actually true or not), and what I honestly estimate as roughly 8 hours on the phone with multitudes of customer service reps, I finally managed to break through to someone beyond front-line support.

Although I was shitting bricks about the situation, the end result is infinitely better than the whore bitches at 1&1 Internet, a domain registrar I was with previously who quite literally sold another one of my established domains without so much as a peep (and I spent an entire month trying to contact those fuckers, that time well in advance of the expiration).

I’ve worked hard over the past 5 years to build up TCL to where it is today, and the thought of someone stealing it from me was unbearable. Plus there’s the matter of email addresses which, whoever the other domain was sold to, can now abuse and use to hack into any associated accounts I’d neglected to change. Nightmare.

I left 1&1 a long time ago, and I highly suggest that if you have any accounts with them that you move them ASAP. Or you can discover for yourself how little recourse customers have when shit goes south — much like being stuck with Rob Ford for four years.

In any event, thanks to my host for finally getting their shit together, and thank you for your patience!

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay

RoFoDoFo Show no mo

Posted on November 8th, 2013 Be the first to comment

After everything that happened this week, I’m sure that Newstalk 1010 would’ve had some kick-ass ratings with this Sunday’s “The City”, a.k.a. the RoFoDoFo radio show.

Alas, it seems that is not to be — the Ford brothers have decided to pull the plug, which probably came as unhappy news to Newstalk who were still expecting the show to go ahead as planned. I was certainly looking forward to it, if only to hurl insults at the radio.

The station pointed out that the Ford brothers are still very welcome “as guests”, which suggested that something final was involved behind the scenes. In other words, it’s not looking like the RoFoDoFo Show will be back any time soon :(

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay

Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Ford boys

Posted on November 7th, 2013 2 Comments

It’s hard to imagine how things could turn out well for Robbie and his brother now.

There’s news of a third video with Rob Ford in it now, which may or may not include be the “kill” tirade that the Sun just posted.

The second one is rumoured to involve Rob, a lady for hire, and some blow (uncorroborated rumour, but sounds plausible no?)

The first video is, of course, the infamous and soon-to-be-released crack video.

You’d think Rob would step down if not just to get out of the media glare. I mean, this shit’s gone international. But he’s hanging in there, somehow. What could drive a man so?

Diane Ford, mother to Rob, city councillor Doug and two other siblings appeared on the brothers’ Sunday afternoon radio program on Newstalk 1010. It was probably meant to be a heartwarming Mothers’ Day segment, but then it got awkward.

Rob did some math and realized that with his sister Kathy born in 1960, brother Randy in 1962 and brother “Dougie” in 1964, he broke the pattern.

“So you must’ve had this planned — two, two, two,” said Rob. “Then I don’t know what happened. Five years later you decided to have me in 1969.”

“What was going on there, ma?”

“I guess it was an afterthought,” said mom Diane.

“Wow,” Ford replied.

“You were supposed to be a girl,” said Diane.

“I was supposed to be a girl?” replied Ford, sounding a bit surprised.

“Yeah,” said Diane.


I didn’t think that Diane could top her awkward comments at seeing Rob’s colourful portrait, but she is a Ford, after all.

I’m sure that the Ford brothers can’t be reduced down to just one single childhood influence, but I do think that this kind of information might worm it’s way into the imminent movie of the week.

Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay