Posts Tagged ‘ charity ’

Time for a test

Posted on March 26th, 2013 – Comments Off on Time for a test

The Star’s Robyn Doolittle seems to be gunning close to the core Rob Ford issue of the moment: his alcohol / drug abuse. Not terribly surprising given both the rumours and some earlier contacts (this date last year, in fact):

Doolittle-email

The story, apparently, is that Rob made another slovenly mess of himself at a war veteran’s charity ball, and had to be shown out.

Three members of the Garrison Ball organizing committee said Ford was asked to leave because he appeared impaired. One said, “he seemed either drunk, high or had a medical condition.”

Doolittle goes on to name a variety of sadly but understandably anonymous (all fearing the mayor’s wrath),  sources who detail the alcoholism that Rob Ford is “battling with” (seems like a warm embrace to me, but that’s just my take). Some of the guest descriptions of Ford from the military ball, however, should remind us that there’s probably more than alcohol involved:

“incoherent,” “stumbling,” “rambling,” “intoxicated,” “slurring,” “seemed to be drunk,” “was nervous, excited, sweaty, out of it.”

I’ve had my fair share of alcohol, and I can’t say that I’ve ever been nervous or excited. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I know that Fordites are going to cling to their main mass no matter what, but to the rest of us, doesn’t it seem like maybe it’s time for a random drug test? And before anyone raises a fuss about inequality, I’d definitely be in favour of all the Councillors taking one.

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Surprise! Rob Ford gives up on “cutting the waist”

Posted on May 28th, 2012 – 1 Comment

I’d already been telling people that Rob Ford had given up on losing weight for a number of weeks now, even though technically he had merely “postponed” his weekly weigh-ins. But based on his record, I was pretty sure he’d give it up altogether. And today I was proven right:

“I don’t care about the weigh-in,” Mr. Ford said Sunday on his weekly Newstalk 1010 radio show, which he hosts with his brother, Toronto City Councillor Doug Ford. “I’m not even dieting anymore.”

…

In the same radio program, Mayor Ford pledged to cut the city’s property tax hike to only 2% for 2013. This year, Toronto property owners were hit with a 2.5% rise in property taxes — the first in two years.

The Toronto Sun, a newspaper that insists on supporting the Mayor at all costs, has tried to spin this announcement by saying that he will continue to lose weight “privately”, despite the fact that he repeated more than once that he won’t.

You may not know this but the whole stunt was supposed to be for charity, and it ended up being the only opportunity for the media to meet with Ford as he started to withdraw from public life (with 2 years left on the clock). Of course, he’s blamed the same media for being in a “frenzy”, despite the fact that he invited them to attend the very public weekly weigh in. Just like all good hypocritical jerkholes, he simply can’t take responsibility for any of his failures.

The Cut the Waist website is still up, presumably because brother Doug is still getting pledges, but you gotta wonder exactly where some of that money is going, or if it’ll ever materialize. For example, some of the dubious pledges made include:

Cornell S – Kentuckky Fried Chicken – $10.00
Robette F – Shake Your Keys To Distract Me – $0.25
Fred S – I Cannot Keep Promises Foundation – $1.00
Robert G – Toupes Of Hope – $1.00
Sam X – The Idea Fund Of Sam Xu – $25.00
Roy G – Cacti Association Of Canada – $13.37
Stacey N – Matt Foley Motivational Speaking – $0.25
…while other “charities” would probably not have been very inspiring to the Ford brothers:

Kathleen S – Pride Toronto – $1.00
Maureen O – Pride Toronto – $5.00
Mary H – Toronto Public Library Foundation – $1.00

The site claims that Rob has lost 22 lbs but this seems to be closer to 16. In an interesting comparison, Ford’s much-maligned predecessor, David Miller, lost 50 lbs while in office, but without inviting the media to monitor his progress in order to gob off about it or slagging other mayors in the process. Whatever the case, it’s clear that this is an indication of a much larger problem (if you’ll pardon the pun). Adam Vaughan sums it up perfectly:

Councillor Adam Vaughan said Ford should learn a lesson from his very public weight-loss campaign that was rolled out with such fanfare in January.

“When you engage in publicity stunts they can blow up in your face,” Vaughan said Monday. “That’s why my advice to him all along has been enough with the slogans and the stunts, your job is to be the mayor. It seems he invested more time in jumping on and off the scales then he did jumping in and out of meetings here at City Hall.”

Vaughan said it’s clear Ford is a “part-time mayor”.

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay

Lowered expectations

Posted on June 11th, 2009 – Comments Off on Lowered expectations

If you don’t live in the city, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you of how different you are.

This morning, as I was trying to decide which pair of underwear was less disintegrated and thus suitable for duty, a radio spot came on for Walmart’s “Walk for Miracles” campaign. It occurred to me that I hadn’t been to a Walmart in ages. Hence no underwear.

That’s probably because there aren’t an awful lot of them in Toronto itself, and not within easy strolling distance. Walmarts, that is. You have to admit, their distribution in the Greater Toronto Area is pretty uniform, even in the outlying sub-suburbs like the ‘Shwa.

I’m going to come clean right now and say that I don’t care for Oshawa. Not one bit. Didn’t like driving through it, didn’t like stopping for ice cream. It was the first time I saw a bona fide Springeresque trailer park. If you insist on going through, the main thoroughfare’s okay, just … don’t wander.

Anyway, I don’t want to get off track. The point is that the expectations seem to get a little bit lower wherever a Walmart is present.

Look…

cibc-run-for-the-cure

…that’s CIBC, well represented anywhere you look on a map of southern Ontario. Also a very heavy presence here in the city. Gentle running seems like a good middle ground of physical exertion. Especially when you look at the 100% downtown Princess Margaret crew:

pm-ride-to-conquer-cancer

That’s a two-day bike ride to Niagara Falls. And as an option you can hop along for an extra ride with Steve Bauer for some real action.

Walmart, serving who they serve, decided on this:

walmart-walk-for-miracles

Families with kids aren’t really into running. Neither are the ‘Shwabians.

drink-for-mullets

In the trendy, sea-bound urban centers of Vancouver, they also tried walking, and look at the result:

walk-for-miracles-vancouver

I know, right? That’s exactly how twisted, wheelchair-bound super villains start. I bet he’s seething with rage.

I guess it’s because city dwellers just don’t get “walking”. They need that hardcore rock climbing biznatch all up in yo mother’s face (that’s how they talk out west). Urbanites want to come home with an arm missing or a cavity where there previously was none. CHA-RI-TAE*! WOOOOOOOOOO**!

Better start getting my pudgy ass in shape. Bikini season’s just around the corner!

* Charity — I know, that west coast accent always messes me up too.
** An overdrawn WOO — Them and their crazy Vancouverese, you gotta love ‘em!

Filed under: B Sides, Pictures