Posts Tagged ‘ spring ’

Sunday on Saturday (spring in winter edition)

Posted on February 14th, 2026 Comments Off on Sunday on Saturday (spring in winter edition)

We seem to be approaching the 6-month mark since the previous installment so, ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu I bring you a bespoke version of the most elegant:

Toronto Sunday World, 21st of May, 1922

Despite its obvious advances in everything from fashion to medicine, one may perhaps be tempted to dismiss the Toronto of over a hundred years ago as an inconsequential anachronism in the context of the modern metropolis. For example, one may point to the seemingly ubiquitous springtime intestinal troubles experienced by locals, as evidenced by the apparent popularity of certain products that appeared in advertisements of the period.

Pish posh, I say! Can one honestly claim that we don’t have to deal with different types of shit in Toronto every season?

Besides, perhaps their physical ailments were related to the introduction of inferior arsenic and strychnine into various products, or perhaps the complete absence of such healthifying ingredients in fake products (shame on the flim-flammers!), but I’m certainly no doctor so we can just go ahead and file that under “speculation”. Moreover, such an analysis fails to take into consideration the countering health benefits provided by certain yeasty tablets which, along with vitamins A, B, C, and calcium, contained only the finest and most refined naturally occurring strychnine.

There are, it must be said, many traditional concepts that we should like to dispense with but that have held through to the modern era due to their enduring aptness. Is it for me to say that they’re wrong?

Why, even non-scientific, which is to say artistic, endeavours from bygone years have stood the test of time. Should I claim that my tastes in decorative motifs are the sole and correct ones?

It’s precisely for these reasons that one should occasionally glance to the past and say, “Gee whiz, that sure was something.”

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

enercare centre

Posted on May 17th, 2022 Comments Off on enercare centre
Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Toronto City Sprung

Posted on May 14th, 2019 Comments Off on Toronto City Sprung

It’s unseasonably cold, just found out I’m gonna need a root canal, and I still miss Ollie a lot. But at least some parts of the city are starting to look up.

Locations (in order):

214 Bay Street (planters in front of Walrus Pub)
255 Bay Street (planters in front of CIBC)
36 King Street West (planters in front of ScotiaBank)
23 King Street West (planter in front of BMO)

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Shprung showers

Posted on April 1st, 2012 Comments Off on Shprung showers

image

Filed under: B Sides, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Just when you think it’s safe to go out again…

Posted on April 18th, 2011 Comments Off on Just when you think it’s safe to go out again…

indoors, shopping mall, hdr, toronto, city, life … Continue Reading

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Leaving the hovel

Posted on March 30th, 2011 Comments Off on Leaving the hovel

Dang … almost forgot I had a blog and a camera! I totally blame winter for my shut-in-edness and lack of motivation. TIME FOR REVENGE!!

toronto harbour commission, sunset, sculpture, art, toronto, city, life, blog

… Continue Reading

Filed under: Dispatches, Patrick Bay, Pictures

Come again?

Posted on May 1st, 2010 4 Comments

You heard me…

bunny suit, may, spring, patrick, toronto, city, life

Filed under: B Sides, Pictures

Instant Seagull Delight – $7.99 +tax

Posted on April 3rd, 2009 Comments Off on Instant Seagull Delight – $7.99 +tax

rain

Today it rained all day.

May flowers are looking pretty distant right now. My shoes, having been on my feet most of the winter, are now starting to get that glorious and ripe spring aroma that is released through repeated drenching in April’s showers.

On my way home I passed a few hotels with some unprepared tourists milling about in front trying to figure out how to stretch the openings of handbags wide enough to use them as dilapidated hats. Others were pulling their t-shirts over their heads, shoulders shrugged in a in a pitiful huddle to accommodate the relocated collar, which was now an elongated port hole through which they peered helpless, dazed, and destitute.

Poor poor people. Did no one tell them Toronto weather can’t be trusted?

Weather. Yes, fine topic. Isn’t that the topic you choose when you want tell someone that you’re absolutely not interested in any sort of meaningful conversation?

It’s a conversation that too few travel guides about Toronto have, if you ask me. What’s there is usually something like: “…frigid in January…blah blah…sweltering in August…blah blah blah David Miller is so hot…blah blah.” It’s fair to say that this crass generalization encompasses all guides about Toronto so there’s no need to provide links or supporting quotes.

Instead of waiting for them to get their acts together, I’m going to deliver my piece on Toronto weather in a single word: layers

Start with a comfortable cotton undershirt. A button-down shirt with expertly “distressed” cuffs and collar on top of that. Next, a loosened cravate emblazoned with a funky puke green-brown, retro seventies, broken strip pattern; or maybe a happy, bright, fun one with a stylized flower in a gay colour.

Slide into a happening blazer. Water-proof, wind-proof, child-resistant, anti-corrosion, and weather-treated coat to top it off. Now you’re ready.

The thing that the guides rarely mention is that you’re as likely to spend your time indoors as you are outdoors. There are a couple of times in the year where the outdoor temperature and humidity match most indoor ones, but these are as rare as the savage marital rites of the women of Balthazar. Never heard of them? Exactly.

For all other times in the year you’re either going to be:

  1. One of those Starbucks-carrying chicks (sorry, but it usually is chicks), twitching spasmodically down Yonge street in a frantic attempt to keep warm with nothing on but a t-shirt, torn jeans, and irresponsibly tiny shoes, as the outdoor temperature starts to fall below -10oC (14oF) .
  2. A delirious puddle of flesh swimming in the squishy lining of your massive parka that, now that you’re indoors you either have to wear, or portage above your head like a canoe because it’s just too fucking big to carry any other way. Why the hell did you buy that thing?!
  3. Just dripping. I mean totally drenched; socks, underwear, inside, outside, every layer; you name it, it’s wet. Summer soakers are even worse. In an air-conditioned mall, hypothermia sets in in minutes. A combination of hyper-erect nipples and annoying squeaky sneakers can result in severe and dangerous facial flushing.
  4. Some really funny combination of the above.

Even Toronto’s famous soupy summers require layering, but for a different reason. In this type of weather an undershirt does most of the absorption and evaporation of sweat. Unless your pits are soaked, most of it won’t transfer to the light shirt you wear on top. An extra sweater comes in super handy when you sit down at the movies where the A/C always seems to be cranked to 11. Finally, a light jacket should make you more comfortable in the wind by the water, and protects your clothing when tucking into a leisurely nautical meal where “instant seagull delight” is on the menu.

Funky fresh dressed to impress, ready to party.

Filed under: B Sides, Pictures