I’d released this Jungle / Drum & Bass track a while ago under a different name but decided to re-visit it again since it’s so very timely.

The name would be a clever tongue-in-cheek reworking of TCL (a.k.a. Toronto City Life), if I believed in tongues, cheeks, and cleverness. 

To answer what I’m sure must be the most nagging question you have at the moment: yes, I’m available to play bar mitzvahs, weddings, and small get-togethers. I also produce.

Even if you don’t smoke pot yourself, chances are pretty good that you know someone who does. As a result, you’ll probably also have experienced what marijuana does to people, and you’ve probably noticed that it lacks the nasty side-effects of other, legal medications.

It’s interesting to note, in fact, that it’s been primarily governments and scientists who have been spreading many of the lies and misinformation about the topic, with police eager to support these well known perjuries in order to bump up their drug enforcement budgets.

It’s not surprising to learn that the “authorities” openly lie and deceive the public like this, so I can’t help but wonder what changed behind the scenes that so many politicians are now coming forward and admitting to the occasional puff or two.

It started with Justin Trudeau and Kathleen Wynne, both of who gave the standard “I tried it a long time ago and didn’t like it” response. Rob Ford, stunningly and especially considering the whole crack thing, went way beyond this and admitted to blazing “a lot”.

In the meantime, tea-totaling Stephen Harper openly lied to millions of Canadians by claiming that, because Trudeau admitted to smoking pot, he was promoting it to children. Of course, this is not even close to the truth. Harper has embraced misleading the public in pretty much the same way that his cadre of underlings have done … even down to the same bullshit invocation of children.

Harper claimed that Justin’s “actions speak for themselves”. True. Harper’s actions also speak for themselves, and they describe a horrific, lying, slandering, murdering sociopath who should be behind bars. The man is a criminal and he proves it a little more every time he opens his mouth.

The fact that is was cloudy and kinda misty and foggy on Saturday was so apropos.

That little pot rally that happened at Yonge-Dundas Square about a week ago was basically just practice for the main event, the Global Marijuana March and Freedom Festival. The point of the march, as far as I can fathom it, is to demonstrate the futility of existing pot prohibitions. It originally started as a grass roots (haha!) movement but now, well, the word “festival” is appropriate if you ask me. Even if you’re completely against anything marijuana, you must admit that arresting everyone simply wouldn’t be practical. Maybe even possible.

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“Where to buy weed in Toronto”.

That was the reigning search on TCL for quite a while. Search number two was “city sweats”, followed closely by “Perspirex in Toronto”.

Strange how these things come about.

Sweats and Perspirex, especially as relate to Toronto, are apparently a niche that only this blog can fill. Both searches lead to a post about a trio of miniature commercials I saw one night that seemed to target women with simultaneous dermatological problems, odour issues, and bikini zone chafing. Perspirex, an industrial-strength antiperspirant, was one of the products in the commercials; mentioned in the post more-or-less in passing. TCL subsequently became one of Toronto’s best web resources for sweaty crotches and a panoply of related variants.

The weed search usually returns a link to a post I’d written last May about the topic. Not exactly the Yellow Pages for Toronto’s ganja dealers, but better than a guidebook. My point wasn’t to discuss marijuana anyway, more the attitude towards it in this city. As I’d mentioned, I thought that cops were generally cool with pot smokers. It’s the people dealing the stuff that tend to cause the problems, and I think this is broadly recognized. Most of the people I spoke to at the 420 rally yesterday agreed with me. Then again, they probably would, wouldn’t they? :)

I just discovered this myself, but apparently April 20th is traditionally the day to drag your ass to some hastily-arranged public location (I got the tweet that morning), and at the stroke of 4:20, toke like you’ve never toked before. All in the hope that marijuana will be fully decriminalized.

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It seems like all conversations today seemed to center around the local flora that, as if by unanimous decision, decided to suddenly explode into bloom en masse.

Wow! I’m sure that when you look at that, you’re thinking the same thing I am: Marijuana.

There seem to be some misconceptions about what is and isn’t legal here in Toronto. There also aren’t the really important facts such as the variety and quality of weed in Toronto, price, and how much you’ll get pumped full of lead for.

To start with, 30 grams is considered a “personal” amount and unlikely to get you more than a fine – assuming police will bother. It’s still not kosher in the eyes of the law, but the current legal framework is proving very unwieldy. There’s always the possibility that some asshole cop decides he wants to shake you down, but for the most part I’ve found police to be absolutely delightful. Also, events like the Global Marijuana March convinces me that the Toronto police get it: pot smokers are, for the most part, not a big problem.

With larger amounts it’s considered trafficking and, I’m afraid, the knickers come off at that point.

So no, technically not legal unless you have a doctor’s note, but that’s a lotta hoop to jump through. Practically, however, pot is not a rare commodity in Toronto.

The selection is wonderful, although there are ebbs and flows as the big suppliers get taken down. This season has seen a mild and aromatic Blueberry, a sensuously rich – dare I say decadent — AK47, some skunky-but-a-goody shiznatch, and something that seemed to be composed entirely of THC crystal.

Now, I don’t do weights. Don’t believe in ‘em. Prefer to eyeball it.

So if you took a regular, mid-sized sandwich baggie (kind that seals), and filled it to a quarter with plump buds, that’d be about $100 worth of prime quality goodness. They key to getting the most out of such a fine product is the grinder.

Where to obtain such a grinder?

This is where Toronto steps out of the Marijuana closet and declares itself to proud and free. Queen street west alone has a number of locations such as The Friendly Stranger,  Jupiter, and the secluded but infinitely more exotic Shanti Baba (my personal fave).

Yonge street is better for the DIY enthusiast. Stores such as the cleverly titled Toronto Hemp Company carry all of the professional equipment you’ll need, while just a bit down the street lies Sacred Seed which carries an excellent, if pricey, selection of pot seed varieties. They carry all sorts of interesting seeds, in fact. And you’ll be pleased to know that seeds are perfectly legal; presumably to use in your salad. Grown plants – not so much.

You can already feel a bit of summer in the air as the leaves ooze out of the branches. It’s unsettling to think that the hedge has grown with such intensity and apparent intent that one day it will reach out, pull down my pants, and give me the wedgie of a lifetime. *shudder*

I like friendly, neighbourly plants.

Oh, and here’s the kind of grinder to invest in: http://www.jupitergrass.ca/shop/Yin%20Yang%20Grinder%20Combo.html

Kief; did you even know that was a word?