Now that all the zombies have left Trinity-Bellwoods, the first wet snow has fallen briefly in warning, the squirrels in the park have grown fat, and sweaters are on almost permanent rotation, it can only mean that Halloween — gateway to the season of the setting sun — has befallen us.
Do you remember David Chen, the Chinatown grocer who kept getting ripped off by the same guy so he decided to make a citizen’s arrest? Except that the cops slapped the cuffs on David instead with bullshit charges like forcible confinement and kidnapping.
Nearly a year later, all the charges against David have been dropped.
Justice!
…the train has now arrived at its final destination. Please be sure you have all your luggage and please allow elderly passengers to disembark first. It was a pleasure being your sauce carrier of choice today, we hope you join us on the Gravy Express again soon. Please enjoy your stay in Mayor Elect Rob Ford’s Toronto.
I’m a bit disappointed but not because I’m necessarily against anything Rob wants to do. As I’ve said, I don’t think his plan reaches out far enough. But most of what he’s proposing can’t be a bad thing. Slimming down City Hall? Sure, why not? Revoking some of the privileges that councillors get? Can’t argue with that. Pulling away from the unions? Obviously a popular idea. That’s the “gravy train” that Rob’s ridden right into the mayorship.
But here’s the thing — if he does what he says he’ll do, and can also find the other tens (hundreds?) of millions of dollars needed to keep the city from sinking, can co-operate (or backroom deal) enough with councillors to get stuff done, and manages to do it year over year, I’d say that was a great start. This is a big city and there’s lots to be done. But sure, fixing City Hall can certainly figure into that so it’s not that I’m against Rob Ford. With the way some people were talking tonight you’d think that the seven horsemen were sharpening their scythes on the corner of Bay and Queen.
And for the record, Rob’s is the only hand I shook out on the street — he was pounding the pavement with his brother Doug shortly after the Ford-Doneit-Henderson thing broke out. I suggested it would work to his favour.
Huh?
Yeah, Your Worship, you’re welcome.
Apparently there’s enough business to have kept this place open for quite a few years:
Fer real?
Fer real.
All I can say is, when Ollie kicks the bucket, there’s no frickin’ way I’m having him violated with cotton (or whatever they use), and then having him permanently buggered in some attack pose. And any animals I’m killing I fully intend to eat; having my dinner plate bronzed might be a better idea.
I got out of my hovel to go for a bit of a walk yesterday. No particular direction…
…and then this happened:
Having…
O Smoke’s Poutine!
Our curds and gravy man!
Honest fries in all thy boxes tan.
With drown’ed spuds we fork thee up,
The True North obviously!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we know you love poutine.
French fried poutine gravy and curdy!
O Canada, we know you love poutine.
O Canada, we know you love poutine.
—
The official cold-weather anthem. Night nips these days – ‘fo ‘sho. Single digits at night. And moist. That rain again. Well, I believe that poutine can assist with this. I don’t believe anyone has ever attempted to prove poutine was in any way good for you so one should never be burdened with any delusions when consuming it. This also pretty much guarantees it’s delicious.
I got mine with sliced beef at a nearby Smoke’s. One day I talked to a friend of Smoke Putinerie’s owner, Smoke Junior. The smiling sticker that continues to make the rounds around town are of Smoke Senior, in memoriam. Or so I’m led to believe.
They’re not glamorous locations, I feel I should mention. Often not staffed by glamorous people. But in the coming seasons, Smoke’s is a warm and tasty hearth on vast cold city nights.
Spotted this fellow along Spadina yesterday:
Ladies, could you see yourself meticulously pinning notes to Marc’s coat, perhaps as an aid for when he gets lost? Do you look at this photo and think romance? And love? Then consider dropping him a line.
I was on in a mission tonight…
…hustling down the naked streets…
…ducking and weaving through the market…
... with pictures
... with sounds
... with videos
... with opinions
... that's shorter
... that's longer