Whenever I tell people I “do Flash” for a living, I get the inevitable blank stare, sometimes accompanied by a nod that suggests they might be imagining me walking down the street with nothing but a long overcoat and an evil grin.

While this may be true in my off hours, what I get paid for is considerably different:

You might recognize this as Mahjongg, or rather, a bastardized version of something closer to a memory/matching game rather than poker, which is what traditional Mahjongg is like. It’s what I’ve been slapping together over the past couple of weeks for Corus’  W Network to replace their existing game.

There’s more work to be done; this would be considered a pre-alpha version … playable but with some big pieces missing. After that it goes into alpha in which everything’s done and I test for hours and hours under the pretense of “work”. Then it’s in beta where the in-house testers and I exchange heated words and potentially fists over what constitutes “features”. After that it’s released to the public, exposed to the big wide world, just like my dangly trench coat buddy.

And now you know.

Nothing like a whack of indoor flakes to take your mind of the stuff outside, eh?

Haha!

Ah, but I kid. This is actually a serious problem for Toronto retailers. Last year we lost 12 people in an avalanche at the lower-level Starbucks…

Right around this time of year my nose turns into a permanently open tap and shall remain that way until late May or so. The only thing that helps is warm Miso soup and ample Wasabi-based abuse.

Simple sushi joints tend to be cheaper but … c’mon … sushi on frickin’ conveyor belts?! That’s worth an extra few bob. I’ve seen a fancier place where the sushi floats around on a man-made stream on top of little boats but I bet you’d pay plenty for that little bit of theater.

Toko on Yonge Street (near Isabella), has a dual conveyor belt winding all the way through the restaurant past booths and counter seats. I’ve never seen sushi running the whole length but I swore that one day I would. Bet it’s a sight to see.

Here’s a section of the conveyor as it re-directs plates onto the return belt. Crappy cell phone video but, alas, I was too busy stuffing Salmon into my face to operate anything fancier.

There I was outside the Second Cup today, praying for the city to show me the light. Something so I wouldn’t have to work hard. Right at that moment, I swear the city fucking winked right at me.

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If you happened to be an insomniac somewhere in the neighbourhood of 26 years ago or, like me, just happened to be awake for whatever nefarious purposes, you may have flipped over to local channel Global TV and been treated to their late night (early morning?) test pattern fill-in, a gentle program named “Night Walk”.

As the name implies, the show is nothing more than one long, continuous, first-person steadicam shot of downtown Toronto streets set to dreamy jazz. I’m not sure if the purpose of the show was ever made clear — Was it simply filler for that lonely 4 a.m. time slot? Was it a form of video sleep aid? Was it interwoven with subliminal suggestions intended to keep you enthralled? (I could never peel my eyes away!)

Apparently only one episode of “Night Walk” was ever shot, but follow-up programs such as “Night Ride” continued the tradition in the same vain.

Unfortunately, Global stopped broadcasting these programs some time ago, but I’m of the opinion that it’s about time they were brought back. Perhaps on this very blog. ;)

(How many now-absent Toronto landmarks can you spot?)

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I had to see it for myself, dear reader. I knew that nothing like it would be in town for, potentially, the rest of my life. So I had to see it for myself.

I am, of course, referring to the G20 summit that shut down most of Toronto over the weekend. I’m sure most people are now well aware of the outrageous costs surrounding the event and I wanted to see what kind of security that kind of money could buy. Even more than that, I wanted to see how the situation would be handled.

At every one of these meetings there are accusations of police brutality, protest situations getting out of hand, riot police, riot police, and more riot police. I needed to see the instigators for myself and not have to rely on either the media, the police, or the protesters for the facts – they could be quite skewed in all directions. The only way I can say anything with authority is to be right there between the riot police and the balaclava’d opposition.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Lots of stuff happened over the weekend but plenty happened before that. There were a number of protest marches and demonstrations throughout the city that, unfortunately, were lost in the subsequent shuffle. There were also a couple of related news items that I think are worth mentioning.

Despite some of the images you may have seen coming out of Toronto over the past few days, the vast majority of the protests and protesters were entirely peaceful.

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Here’s a video from Miguel Barbosa of YEAH! Films who graciously contacted me through Twitter to see if I’d be interested in posting his footage here. Hells yeah I would!

Just a shame it couldn’t be of something happier…

Visit Miguel’s YouTube site to watch this in HD.

Yes, the G20 protests are in full swing and there are photos and stories. However, I have another full day tomorrow and I somehow got myself involved with a Tweet20 meeting (you may be able to guess what’s that’s about).

So, until I get a chance to sit down and do it up properly, here’s the OCAP-led (Ontario Coalition Against Poverty), protest in hastily slapped-together videos.

My favourite was when the riot police came out in formation. :D

Everyone gathered at Allan Gardens…

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I was just on my way home last night when I overheard this heartwarming tune being performed at Yonge-Dundas Square (part of Luminato).

In lieu of good audio quality, here are the lyrics to the snippet I recorded:

…she’s a sex machine, yeah.
She just turned 18.
And she buys me methamphetamines.

That’s why I’m dumping you, biatch, that’s why I’m out the door.
Go on an close the dumpster cuz you’re still a skanky whore.

A skanky skanky skanky skanky whore.

You spend the night at truck stops,
and at the tattoo shops,
and it don’t make you an actress just because you’ve been on Cops.

And sure you finished college,
well whoop-di-frickin-doo,
If I blew all my teachers I’d finish college too.

That’s why I’m dumping you, bzatch,
that’s why I’m out the door,
She told me she’s your sister but you’re still a skanky whore.

She’s a little skanky too, but you’re a whole lot more,
You creepy, cranky, stinky, stanky,
skanky, skanky whore.

Naturally there’s been a lot of talk about the G20 coming to town and how, overall, it doesn’t seem like there’s going to be any benefit for the city from this crazy assembly. Costs have gone up almost ten-fold to about a billion bucks (how does the government manage to get everything so wrong all the time?), all of which is going toward making the G20 leaders’ visits nice and comfortable. Chunks of downtown are being completely shut down, much to residents’ chagrin, and not a penny of that exorbitant sum is being spent to help locals or businesses with lost profits, protest damage, etc. Organizers aren’t even hiring local security for the job.

Basically, unless someone can come up with one tangible benefit, the summit will end up being a huge middle finger to Toronto as well as the taxpayers of Canada. Nebulous statements of “benefits to the city” made by officials are not very convincing. Like, what benefits, exactly?

Well, there is one that I can think of, and it applies to only a very small group of Torontonians. Like myself. :)

I’m talking about the global media coverage that the G20 will invariably get. It’ll do nothing for local businesses, and I’m fairly certain most Canadian tax payers don’t give a flying fuck if the summit makes headlines in Brazil. But for anyone in the media, stories like this are akin to a sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top, especially if shit really does go down and the protests start to get violent. For insignificant bloggers who happen to live near the turmoil, that’s especially true.

As crass as that may sound, it’s the truth. Tragedies, disasters, protest movements – they’re all headline fodder extraordinaire.

Take the recent seizing of Palestinian aid ships by the Israeli army, for example. Israel, Palestine, and the ships may all be half a world away, but thanks to Toronto’s Palestinian population the story came right to my front door. And thanks to an unfortunate series of events that resulted in the pro-Palestine demonstration yesterday, the topic can happily fly under the Toronto City Life flag.

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