One For The Ages: The Pots & Pans Phenomenon


 Posted on June 10th, 2020
 by Patrick No comments. The post is really that bad, huh?

Lately I’ve been thinking about what future generations might think of this age and its people. How will they try explain some of this era’s unusual social phenomena, the strange trends, the bizarre departures from what would more soberly be recognized as common sense?

One thing I know for sure is that enlightened historians of the future will understand that most of the mainstream media is the source of fake news and propaganda while stout stalwarts like Toronto City Life are unwavering bedrock of veracity and accuracy. It is thus my duty to inform future generations of the truth of what we in the current time call “modernity”.

So in this spirit I would like to approach relatively recent trend, the Covid pots & pan salute that’s often represented as a celebration of human tenacity and defiance in the face of the global pandemic.

On this matter the mainstream analysis could not be further from the truth.

Consider, for example, that the nightly cacophony (7:30 to 7:35 in my neighbourhood), is supposed to be directed primarily at healthcare workers.

Clearly this cannot be the case since most such workers are shut up in hospitals or trying to get some shut-eye from what are presumably grueling schedules, which would make loud noise among the worst ways to show appreciation.

The truth of the matter, as told from the first-hand experiences of a contemporary person, is that these clamorous rituals are intended to drive the evil spirits of the Covidae away from people’s homes.

It is widely believed that these malicious spirits come shortly after sunset and so the loud sounds and jubilant cheers are raised to disperse them prior to retiring for the evening.

In this way, says the superstition, the Covidae are swept away by the evening breeze and lose their way in the darkness of the night.

Of course this is preposterous to many a right-thinking person but the curious phenomenon exists nevertheless. Hopefully future analysis will yield a deeper understanding of this unusual shared delusion.

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