Classic Ford hypocrisy — bellow about the entitlement of government employees, then secretly create a brand new, highly-paid City Hall position, ask a fellow football coach to fill it, and when asked to comment, tell the newspapers to go fuck themselves. Except the Sun, of course, because they report on what they’re told, they do it how they’re told to do it, and they don’t ask any questions (now that’s a newspaper!).

So what exactly qualifies Dave Price for the position? Go fuck yourself.

What does the position entail? Go fuck yourself.

How much will Mr. Price be making? Go fuck yourself.

How did Ford decide on Dave Price? “I don’t want to get into personnel matters”, Ford says.

In other words, I’m Rob Fucking Ford and I’m not accountable to anyone. Go fuck yourself.

Rob Ford’s failures are easy pickings; they’re numerous and obvious. But every once in awhile, he also registers a victory which would be incredibly disingenuous of me not to mention.

Like yesterday’s vote, for example.

That Council item, made a top “priority” by Rob Ford, centered around the food concessions in the currently-under-renovation Nathan Phillips Square. Up until recently, those consisted of chips, chocolate, and fizzy drinks offered while the skating rink had blades on it. The rest of the time, the place was shuttered and the only place to grab a bite was at one of the food trucks parked on Queen Street.

But yesterday, led by Ford, Council flipped on a previous decision to not allow a local food chain to move in, and essentially greenlighted Hero Burgers for the location.

I need to point out that I have nothing against Hero Burgers. After Big Smoke and Gourmet, Hero is easily my third choice for tasty burgers (within walking distance). So I don’t have any issues with another Hero location opening up in front of City Hall. But it is interesting to point out the context…

Rob Ford made fatty fast food a top priority and managed to shove it down the City’s throat in record time. His push for subways was, and continues to be, a dismal failure. His repeated “guarantees” to remove or reduce the Land Transfer Tax are a lesson in how not to get things done. His constant threats to sic “Ford Nation” on various politicians is more or less a joke. And so on.

But let’s give credit where it’s due: when it comes to accessibility to greasy foods, you can expect Rob’s full support, undivided attention, and unrelenting determination. Rob also works tirelessly in other areas, like helping homeless Torontonians with a few temporary beds — and by that I mean being the sole dissenting vote against the simple, humanitarian measure.

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Hurray! Now that Rob Ford has been shown that laws and rules don’t apply to him, he’s once again free to use city resources for his own personal pet projects like the Rob Ford Football Foundation.

Yesterday it was revealed that Chris Fickel, a Ford office staffer, had sent out a solicitation email to Marshall McLuhan Catholic Secondary School (note how those rich, elite public schools are not part of Ford’s ongoing efforts). Fickel is a regular part of Ford’s program, regularly appearing in photos with the teams, driving a city hall car to practices and games, etc.

In Fickel’s defense (not that he needs one), the email was sent from a GMail account. While it was time-stamped 4:37 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon, the fact that Rob Ford is regularly and mostly absent from his duties indicates that this may not actually have been done “on city time” (which, according to Ford, is any time he says).

And who gives a rat’s ass anyways — Rob Ford says it’s okay so just shut the fuck up and accept it.

Don Bosco, Rob’s old alma mater and the shining jewel in his infamous football foundation, is set to produce an official “will of the people”, of sorts, as both school staff and the community recently tossed around their feelings on the mayor’s involvement in the institution’s sports program (he coaches football there).

This follows a very public airing of grievances against Ford’s characterization of the community (and especially its black kids), as being poor, disadvantaged, and basically one step away from becoming drug dealers, pimps, and whores. Ford said similar things about other schools in his foundation, places like Forest Hill where the average income hovers at around $100K. Yeah, I know, it’s not rich by today’s standards, but it ain’t exactly no skid row neither.

And that reason is why the Don Bosco folks are talking about potentially putting the mayor out to pasture. The article didn’t impart the impression that the community is roiling with rage, but there’s definitely disquiet and unhappiness at being made out to seem like a ghetto (which it most certainly is not).

In case you can’t read between the very wide lines of this story: Rob Ford’s own school is claiming that the mayor misrepresented them, and are mulling kicking him out because of community disquiet. And these are his people, his old school, his old community.

Toronto’s top cop, Chief Bill Blair, sent out an internal video to his staff a couple of days ago to express his displeasure at some of his members’ conduct — things like beating handcuffed and defenseless suspects, turning off dashboard cams to hide their behaviour, lying to courts, etc. And part of his statement seemed to hit the nail on the head:

“…you don’t get to be an idiot in our uniform, you don’t get to be an idiot diminishing our organization and you cannot hide behind the badge to abuse the authority so carefully earned and so carefully used by all of us.”

Nice words, but as critics are quickly pointing out, if words are all there are, nothing’s going to change. After all, if there are cops out there who are not only not doing their job but willing to publicly break the law (while simultaneously collecting a hefty salary), I don’t think the situation is one that requires a stern tongue lashing.

In response to the (somewhat) explosive allegations yesterday that Rob Ford is almost perpetually publicly plastered, the mayor responded by inviting his accusers to take him to court:

“It’s just lies after lies and lies, and I’ve called you guys pathological liars, and you are, so why don’t you take me to court? Let the courts decide. You guys are liars!”

I’m pretty sure Rob doesn’t read TCL, but I know his handlers do so this little tidbit of advice might find its way into his ear: when someone’s slandering or libeling you, it’s you who take them to court, not the other way around.

Also, it’s worthwhile to keep in mind that although the Star revealed the information, of you’re going to be suing anyone it should be the well-named and very public people who are sourced in the newspaper’s claims.

The Star’s Robyn Doolittle seems to be gunning close to the core Rob Ford issue of the moment: his alcohol / drug abuse. Not terribly surprising given both the rumours and some earlier contacts (this date last year, in fact):

The story, apparently, is that Rob made another slovenly mess of himself at a war veteran’s charity ball, and had to be shown out.

Three members of the Garrison Ball organizing committee said Ford was asked to leave because he appeared impaired. One said, “he seemed either drunk, high or had a medical condition.”

Doolittle goes on to name a variety of sadly but understandably anonymous (all fearing the mayor’s wrath),  sources who detail the alcoholism that Rob Ford is “battling with” (seems like a warm embrace to me, but that’s just my take). Some of the guest descriptions of Ford from the military ball, however, should remind us that there’s probably more than alcohol involved:

“incoherent,” “stumbling,” “rambling,” “intoxicated,” “slurring,” “seemed to be drunk,” “was nervous, excited, sweaty, out of it.”

I’ve had my fair share of alcohol, and I can’t say that I’ve ever been nervous or excited. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I know that Fordites are going to cling to their main mass no matter what, but to the rest of us, doesn’t it seem like maybe it’s time for a random drug test? And before anyone raises a fuss about inequality, I’d definitely be in favour of all the Councillors taking one.

Ah, Agar … what a boob.

Yes, that’s Newstalk 1010’s Jerry Agar who recently made a video pushing his brilliant idea to solve Toronto’s commuting problems: telecommuting.

In his video, Jerry tries to make out like he’s the one that came up with the genius concept, or at least was one of its prime champions (which, as a formerly avid Agar listener, I can unequivocally say is a complete lie), and isn’t it amazing how people are finally catching onto it? And he uses a Star article to “prove” his point, no less!

See for yourself:

What I find fascinating is watching Agar weasel between the tight squeezes of his (surprisingly) logical position in support of telecommuting, his even more blusterous support of “free market” and “business knows best”, and then on to, “yeah, but big business like Yahoo don’t want people telecommuting.”

I don’t call people “mentally ill” lightly nor pejoratively (unlike Ford and his neo-Con buddies, I actually believe it exists), but people like Agar exemplify why I’m so quick to jump to the term when talking about their “logic”. I mean, if someone randomly said to you (in the same breath no less), “I love big business! Big business sucks!” , would you not be tempted to say that something is genuinely wrong with their minds?

Sorry, Jerry, just calls ’em like I sees ’em, and you are one messed up individual. Please get help.

According to brother Doug, Rob will continue to pound his recent round of weirdness “ward to ward to ward”. He says there’s nothing wrong with constantly hammering people over the head with casinos (especially when inappropriate), and fist shaking.

Doug also added:

“(Councillors) are good talkers until he shows up into their ward. When you win with 19% of the vote and the mayor wins with 60% in your (ward) — you’re damn right you better be careful.”

Sounds awfully specific, doesn’t it?